


Coffee And Cigarettes

by Samandrielwasgood



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Benny/Dean is very small in this, M/M, Smoking, popstar au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-26 06:31:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 51,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samandrielwasgood/pseuds/Samandrielwasgood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester is a famous popstar. Kind of like Justin Bieber but less douchey and didn't have some on and off thing with an actress. Castiel hated the guy, with a burning passion, like most sane people in the world did. He was basically dragged to one of his concerts by his younger sister, followed by a meet and greet. Turns out Sam Winchester isn't exactly who Castiel thought he would be</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel hated when he was dragged into places he really really didn’t want to go. It always happened. He had plenty of older brothers. He was the youngest boy out of 8 kids. 3 girls and 5 boys. Out of everyone his sister wanted to bring to this stupid fucking concert, it had to be him. His sister was basically forcing him to go to a Sam Winchester concert. No one ever asked him if it was okay. His mother just told him he had to go, and not complain about it. If it was some other concert, it would be fine. Just, not this guy, anyone but him.  
Castiel hated the kid. He was like Justin Bieber, but not as douchey and didn’t have an on and off thing with some actress.. He’s annoying as fuck. All these girls would obsess over him, including Cas’s sister. When in reality, only girls between the ages of 8 and 13 actually thought he didn’t suck. He was one of the jokes of the music industry. He had the kind of sappy love songs that made you cringe at the first note of it. The funniest thing about him, was the fact that he was about 6 foot 4, so whenever he took pictures with the girls, they looked about half his size. He was always either wearing hoodies or plaid, and he desperately needed a haircut. Cas could just write a whole entire book about how much he did not like this guy.  
“Come on” she whined, “We have to go!” He started pulling on Cas’s arm to try to make him stand up from the couch.  
Castiel groaned. “It’s 4! The concert doesn’t start until 9. I think we have time until we have to go. Plus, we have reserved seats, and a meet and greet. What are you so worried about? We’ll leave at 7.” Cas yanked his arm from her grasp. He continued reading his book, hoping to get some more of it in before he had to drive her. He wanted to keep some of his sanity before it had to be pulled out of him.  
“Everybody knows that you’re lame if you’re not at a concert early! Plus, I need to get merch so I need to be there early to buy stuff before everyone else takes it! And, I want to be able to see if I can catch him if he’s just walking around. Come on, Cas! This is Sam we’re talking about! He’s my future husband so I want to let him know how much I love him that I go earlier than everyone else!” She just kept pushing it. She wouldn’t shut up about her many, many reasons on why they just had to go now  
Castiel sighed loudly, “Fine, fine fine! We’ll leave at 6.” he put his book down, and gave her the look that he knew freaked her out. He made it clear that he didn’t really want to go. But it gave him an excuse to be away from his parent’s bickering, and even Sam Winchester was a better sound to hear than that.  
She frowned, “You’re so mean. I wish everyone else was back from college so they could bring me. You’re just going to complain the whole time, aren’t you.”  
“Yes. You could have picked any of our sisters. But you chose me.” He grumbled.  
“Well, I don’t want any competition!” She shrugged.  
“You honestly think you have a chance?” Castiel rolled his eyes. She always had the mindset that Sam was secretly in love with her. She was that type of fan. If Sam ever had a girlfriend, she’d probably hate the poor girl to death. Though it was a little odd how the guy never came out with a girlfriend yet. He always sang love songs, but he’d never been in a relationship. It was a little pathetic, in Castiel’s opinion. He should just sing about his plaid or how much he loved his hair. Those seemed to suit him more than the songs he sang.  
After an hour, Cas made dinner for him and his sister, something quick so they could eat and go. The closer the time was for them to leave, the more nervous Castiel got. He was nervous that he would be trampled by all the screaming fans and that he would go deaf. Of course, he had never been to a concert before, so he really wouldn’t know. However, from what he had heard from the friends who had been to one, they could get pretty hectic. Maybe he would just sit in the bathrooms the whole time and attempt to listen to his own music. Knowing his sister, she’d force him to stay the whole time.  
Castiel grabbed a backpack, putting his book, though he doubted he needed it, and spending money. He also packed some snacks and water. He knew she would get hungry at some point, and he did not want to have to pay 10 bucks for a sandwich. He put them into a zip part of the backpack so if they didn’t allow food, it wouldn’t be easy to spot it. They usually did this when they went to the movies. They hated having to pay so much for things they already have.  
His sister ran into the living room from her room. She was wearing a lot more makeup than usual, and she wore clothes that definitely not appropriate for her age, “You are not going to wear that.” He frowned at her.  
She scoffed, “And neither are you. You look like a nerd.” Castiel didn’t see anything wrong with what he was wearing. He was just wearing jeans and a loose gray t-shirt. He never wore shirts that were his size because they weren’t comfortable. He thought of comfort before fashion.  
“Change your skirt into jeans and you’re fine. This is a concert, you’re going to be moving. Your skirt is going to go right over.” He replied to her.  
“Fine.” She groaned, stomping back into her room and changing. Castiel smiled to himself, he knew how to get the point across if he needed. Plus, he’d tell on her if she didn’t change and that wouldn’t be good for her, because their parents would never let her go to another concert ever again. He didn’t even know where she got that outfit from. Probably one those millions of times she went to the mall with her friends.  
She came back with Jeans, they were uncomfortable skinny, but it was better than what she had on before. They left and went into the car. Of course they had to listen to her CDs on the way there. She wanted Cas to hear more of his ‘Beautiful’ music before the concert. He really didn’t even care, he wanted the whole day to just be over already. The ride really was torturous, his sister did not exactly have the greatest singing voice. She was basically screaming. If Cas wasn’t driving right now, he’d video tape it and show it to her in 10 years and she’d laugh at herself.  
They got to the amphitheater. It was huge. They had second row tickets in the front section in the middle. They were extremely close. It made Castiel a little nervous. That was close to where mosh pits usually were, and he was not comfortable being in one of those. He’d heard about them, and they can get hectic. He didn’t want to get trampled by annoying teenage girls. It was number 2 on his list of things he never wanted to happen, and it was most likely going to happen. The whole night was just going to be hell for him.  
Cas sat down at their seat, watching the crew set up the stage. There wasn’t an opening act, which sort of upset Castiel. He wanted to at least see if there would be some decent music, but that wasn’t going to happen. He took out his book, and started to read while it was still quiet.  
“Cassie! Come on! Stop being such an old man! You’re 18. You shouldn’t be so boring.” His sister complained when she sat next to him.  
“You can go wherever you want until the concert starts. Just keep your phone on you.” he gave her $50. “Use that to buy anything you need. Go make friends. Just let me be alone.”  
“Wow. If you stopped being so.......I don’t know the word, but you need to live a little.” She said, before getting up and walking away towards where all the food and merch stands were. Castiel rolled his eyes. He was fine the way he was. Not everyone wanted to party and be enthusiastic about everything, like she was. He’d rather read a book then hear thousands of girls (and probably a couple of guys) screaming their heads off. Cas continued reading, shutting off the rest of the world.  
He heard his sister come and sit next to him. Cas picked his head up, and closed his book. He knew that meant the concert was going to start soon. He didn’t even notice the fact there were more people now. All the seats were almost filled, and it was getting rather loud. “Look! I got this t-shirt” His sister held one up, it was just a picture of him, with his name written on the top. It had a bunch of disgustingly girly designs around it. “Then I also got this sweatshirt. I mean, I already have like, 4 of his shirts so I don’t really need any more. But I think a sweatshirt is necessary” She held it up. It was basically the same thing from the shirt, just different designs.  
Castiel sighed. Like she needed any more things from this guy. Just more money that he didn’t need. This guy was probably so rich he could buy his own country. It disgusted Castiel. This guy barely had to work, just show up places and sing, while other people worked their asses off for so much less than he made. He didn’t think it was fair. The people setting up and doing all his dirty work got less than he did. Castiel could go stand up where he sat and lip synced, and probably do a better job than he could.  
He saw the lights go down a little, and the stage light up. He heard screeching, coming from all around him. He covered his ears, groaning loudly. He looked up and saw Sam at the mic.  
“How are you all doing tonight?” He asked. The screaming was louder, worse than ear piercing. Especially his sister. She’d probably lose her voice tomorrow. Then complain about it, and it would simply be all her fault.  
“That’s good. Me too.” Sam said, flashing a smile, “Wow. There’s so many of you. But you’re not here to hear me talk. You’re here for music. Right?” Then, another loud uproar. Sam’s band started playing a song, which Castiel sadly knew. He hated it. They all sounded the same to him. He could hear his sister screaming while singing them next to him, while she recorded the whole entire thing on her cell phone.  
After three painful hours, the concert was over. It was horrible. Once they allowed people to move to the front, he was basically trampled. His sister ran off at some point to get closer, leaving Castiel all by himself. It was all just simply terrifying for him. He didn’t even want to pay attention to the movie because he was afraid he would break a bone or something. Teenage girls seeing their favorite singer were very dangerous. He was surprised that he actually lived through it all. His shirt did get ripped a little at the bottom, when a girl tripped and violently grabbed the bottom of his shirt. At least it didn’t show any skin or anything. It did upset him because it was now a waste of a perfectly good t-shirt.  
He looked around after everyone tried to leave, attempting to spot her. He couldn’t find her, which was odd. Her shirt was almost neon, so it was almost impossible not to see her, but he just couldn’t finger her. He started panicking, he knew something like this would happen.She always aimlessly ran off from him whenever they went places. He sat back down in his seat, waiting to see if she’ll eventually show up.  
His sister ran back to him after a couple minutes of him almost having a heart attack. “Oh. Sorry about that. We have meet and greets. We’re supposed to wait in line over there.” She pointed to a line, with about 20 other girls. Castiel sighed, and they walked into the line.  
“You know, Rachel, you shouldn’t have run off like that. You scared the shit out of me”  
“Sorry! I just wanted to get closer to him! He ran off stage and I got to touch him! So....it was so worth it. Though at the meet and greet I’ll get to see him face to face for real and he’ll realize he’s in love with me.” She smiled, looking off as if she were day dreaming. Castiel really just wanted to go home now.  
It turned out only 100 people got meet and greet tickets. It was some kind of randomizer in the tickets. Of course Castiel was now going to actually have to talk to this guy. He’d probably just introduce himself then walk away. It wasn’t like this dude would care about the people he talked to.


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh my god. I can’t tell you how excited I am!” his sister practically squealed, “Only three more people in front of us!” She moved her body as if to look in front of them. The door was closed, so Castiel really did not see the point in her moving to look like that. Maybe she was expecting to see him through the door cracks. Heaven only knows what was going through that girl’s head at the moment. It was probably just a pile of mush, shaped into Sam Winchester’s face. Castiel chuckled to himself while he thought about it.   
“I’m not even kidding. I’m going to cry with excitement. I get to finally meet him and have him fall in love with me.” Rachel grinned.  
“Seriously? Why are you so excited? It’ll only be for a minute, then you’re going to be kicked out. You’ll be lucky to get one picture of him.” Castiel said annoyingly. He still felt nervous. He didn’t like Sam, but he was still a celebrity. Kind of a waste of his first time meeting one, having it be Sam Winchester. He sighed, waiting for the line to shorten, until there was one person left in front of them.  
“I can’t wait. Cas, hold me I can’t do this! I’m going to pass out! I’m actually going to be in the same room as him making eye contact” She started jumping up and down. Castiel sighed, rolling his eyes. He’d probably act like this if he met any of his favorite celebrities, but for now he was still a little annoyed at her for running out, and for making him go to this stupid concert. The last person went in line.   
“I saw him through the door! I saw him, Cas! He looks so hot and sweaty. Just like I like him, he’s so perfect.” She closed her eyes, sighing, as if to be day dreaming. Ew, he hated when people looked sweaty. It wouldn’t hurt to change your shirt, or jump in the shower quickly. It made him extremely uncomfortable. It’ll be even worse now. He probably smells gross, which makes matters even worse.   
It felt like the last person in front of them was taking forever. Castiel just wanted to get all this over with, go home and sleep. It wasn’t that much to ask for. Castiel would be more excited to go to a 5 hour meeting on the mating rituals of birds than meet this guy. He checked his phone, and it hadn’t even been a minute since he last checked.  
The last girl came out after what felt like a year. Castiel sighed. His sister screamed and then she started to walk in. Castiel rolled his eyes and followed her.   
“One at a time, please.” one of the guards said. He looked really tough and intimidating. Castiel almost felt a little nervous around him, but he had a couple brothers who were bigger than him, so this guy wasn’t too much of a threat.   
“Oh, he’s my brother. We can just go in at the same time and double the time.” His sister smiled. The guard nodded, “That makes sense. You both can go in.”  
His sister jumped a little, and walked inside, Castiel trailing behind. Sam Winchester was leaning against the counter of his dressing room, half sitting on it. He did look sweaty, and gross. Castiel frowned, he didn’t want to go anywhere near this guy if he smelled bad due to the sweat. He frowned slightly.   
“Oh, my god!” She yelped, running up and hugging Sam. Her arms could only fit around his chest. The guy probably wouldn’t be able to move his arms, she was squeezing so tight. The guy stood up, awkwardly pulling his hands from her grasp and hugging her back. After a couple seconds, he pulled away, almost pushing her away from him.   
It took all of Castiel’s power not to laugh. Even Castiel felt extremely uncomfortable with whatever kind of hug you could call that. Castiel could tell that Sam obviously thought she was a little creepy. His face looked like he was in pain. He also looked extremely tired. He probably just wanted to go home and sleep too. If Castiel was surrounded by girls all the time, he would probably want to leave as soon as possible too.   
Sam didn’t seem to move his eyes from the floor. He didn’t even seem like he cared, what an asshole. The least he could have done was smile. It didn’t hurt. Castiel was just disliking this guy more and more.   
“So...uh...Can I sign something for you? Or take a picture?” Sam asked her.   
She shook her head, “No. Though, I do want a picture.” She took her phone out, taking a picture of him, then put it away, “I want to just enjoy the moment I have with you. I love you so much. My name’s Rachel, by the way. I know you wanted to know.” She pushed her head into his chest. Castiel took his last thought back, he would have been miserable if he had to deal with her. Castiel had to deal with her every day, but not like this. She was being crazier than usual. She stood there for the rest of her time. It was a little...uncomfortable for everyone in the room.   
Sam just sighed, looking up. He looked over at Castiel. Castiel could see how exhausted he was. His face was basically red, and he could tell how baggy this guy’s eyes were. He probably hasn’t slept correctly in a long time. It made Castiel feel a little bad for him.   
Sam’s face seemed to light up a bit when he looked at Castiel. His eyes widened a little bit, and Castiel saw his eyes trail up and down. He smiled a little bit, then met Castiel’s gaze again. Was this guy...checking him out? No one ever checked Castiel out. He was always the weird kid. The one every single girl, and guy, turned their nose away from. Yet, here he was, some famous guy, looking him up and down with that stupid smirk on his face.  
Castiel frowned, trying his hardest to hide a blush. He shouldn’t be reacting like this, he hated the guy. It was just the way his face lit up, it was like there wasn’t anyone else there with them. Castiel did not like this. It was not supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be annoyed and not want to be a part of any of this guy. He didn’t want to react like this.   
Sam slipped from Rachel’s grasp, and walked over to Castiel. He heard Rachel wimper a little bit, but she probably knew that they had to get equal time, which the tickets said they did. Sam smiled at him again. Castiel could see how tall he was. He felt like a giant compared to Castiel, he was 5 inches taller than him. He had to look up to see his face.  
“I never caught your name.” he said, in an almost soothing voice. His speaking voice was a lot better up close than it was during the concert. Cas stood there for a while, not answering.   
“Are you doing okay?” Sam asked, leaning down a little bit, he looked worried.   
“Oh...sorry. It’s Castiel.” He said quietly. He smacked himself out of the way he was acting. He was acting shy like he always did. He hated when he was like that, so he forced himself to talk.  
“Castiel? That’s a new one.” He raised his eyebrows.  
“What? You’ve never heard a unique name before?” Castiel snapped.   
“I’m just saying. It’s cool.” Sam smiled. He acted calmer than Castiel was expecting. Sam started smirking like he was before again. The three of them were quiet for a couple of seconds. Rachel was staring at Sam, too starstruck to notice that Sam really didn’t seem to care. Sam and Castiel kept looking at each other, Sam mentally flirting with him, while Castiel just kind of glared. He’d never be able to admit it out loud, but he kind of liked the attention.  
“Well thank my mom if you like it so much. Maybe she can give you a better one.”   
Sam frowned, but then he almost instantly smiled again. “Wow. You’re a snarky one.” Sam chuckled.  
“What is that supposed to mean?” Castiel frowned.   
“Nothing. It’s cute.”   
“Cute?” Castiel was not cute. He hated the word cute. It made him feel like he was 5. He was not 5, he was 18. He was going to college after the summer. College kids were definitely not cute. However, Castiel didn't seem to notice he was turning redder.   
“Yeah. Definitely cute.” Sam laughed. This guy seemed to turn from miserable to happy as soon as he started talking to Castiel. It made Castiel feel....important? He didn’t know how this really made him feel.   
“Time’s up!” The guard said.   
“Shit. Uh...hold on a sec. I never got to hug this kid. It would be rude not to.” Sam wrapped his arms around Cas. Castiel could feel one of his hands almost on his upper thigh. He frowned, but hugged him back. He seemed like an extremely flirty, and possibly gay, kind of guy. Castiel was expecting the flirty, but really didn’t see him as the gay type. They both pulled back. This hug didn’t feel awkward at all, and Sam was very sweaty. However, Castiel didn’t seem to mind. He felt nice and warm.   
If anyone asked Castiel about how Sam felt when he hugged him, he’d say it was gross. He’d never admit out loud that he was now developing a crush on Sam. It was pathetic. Just a little flirting could do that. It made Castiel really upset. He didn’t want to have a crush on him. He just met the guy and most likely would never see him again. He probably flirted with every single guy that came in there, whether they were gay or not.  
Castiel knew he was gay ever since he was a little kid. He never had any doubts about it. He’d never been in a relationship, because most people didn’t even look at him most of the time. He knew he wanted to end up with a guy, and not a girl. He didn’t have anything against girls, he just didn’t feel attracted to them in any kind of sexual or romantic kind of way. His only crushes were guys. It was as simple as that for him.   
Castiel and Rachel walked out, while Sam was waving to them. They walked back to the car, which was pretty easy since 85% of the people left already.   
“That was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I touched him. I think he loves me back. What do you think, Cas?” She said, sitting in the front seat and buckling in.   
“Oh I bet.” He said sarcastically. Castiel was pretty sure his sister was the last person that Sam would ever fall in love with.   
“You’re just jealous.” Rachel said. Castiel rolled his eyes. The rest of the ride home was pretty quiet. Rachel had fallen asleep. The whole thing must have been exhausting for her too. Castiel wondered how long it was going to be before Sam got to sleep. He probably didn’t get too much sleep. It was already 1, and he probably still had a bunch of people to talk to. Castiel just hoped he was going to be okay. Damn him for starting to actually care about this stupid guy.   
Once they got home, Castiel woke Rachel up, and she walked inside, instantly going to bed. She would probably never shut up about it tomorrow. Castiel was not excited to hear that. It was getting a little late to read, so Castiel decided he might as well go to bed as well.   
Castiel took his shirt off, throwing it away since it was all ripped up. He could still use it, but he didn’t want to anymore. He was about to slide his pants down as well, when he heard a crunching sound in his pants. He didn’t remember putting anything in his pockets.   
He reached his hand into his pocket, and felt a piece of paper. He raised his eyebrows and pulled it out. He opened the folded up paper, and read it.  
‘Call me ;)’ and then a phone number was written down. Next to it, was Sam’s signature. Sam Winchester gave Castiel his phone number. Castiel felt his heart skip. He couldn’t tell if it was fake or not. He hoped it was real. Castiel would call him tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel woke up the next morning with a pain in his head. He sat up, groaning a little. He got out of bed, wiping his eyes. He walked into the kitchen and sat at the kitchen table.  
“How was your concert last night?” His mother asked when he walked in. She smiled, and Castiel could tell she was already making breakfast, even though Castiel was the only kid awake.   
Castiel groaned, “How do you think?”   
“You don’t have to be so cranky, Castiel. You met a celebrity, you should be grateful you went. Most kids can’t say they’ve been to a concert.” He mother said, “Do you want any?” She asked, holding out a plate of pancakes.  
Castiel nodded, “Sure. And I don’t know, I would have probably liked it better if I actually liked the guy. He seemed just too into himself for me.” That was a lie. He kind of liked Sam now. It was probably because the guy called him cute. Anyone would probably gain a crush on a celebrity if they called them cute. The way Sam just seemed to be so much happier once he saw Castiel really added on to it.   
“That’s true” his mom put the plate of pancakes in front of Castiel. He started to eat. He wasn’t very hungry, though, he had too much on his mind. He wanted to call Sam, but he was way too nervous. What if it wasn’t the right number? What if Sam really was a douche and wanted to make Castiel feel horrible? What if he gave out his phone number to a lot of other guys, and Castiel was just one to throw away? It was worrying him. He knew he was just overreacting, but what if any of these things were true? Castiel didn’t know if he would be able to handle that.   
Castiel sighed softly, and finished eating his food. He washed his plate, putting it in the dishwasher. He was surprised he was the only one awake, it was almost 9 on a Sunday morning. They usually went to church, but they didn’t this morning because Rachel and Castiel went to the concert. Balthazar, whom Castiel shared a room with, was still sleeping, that’s all Cas knew. He guessed that everyone was either out or enjoying their Sunday off.  
“Where is everyone?” Castiel asked.  
“Sleeping.” His mother replied, “Too bad, they’re going to have their pancakes cold. I like how you’re the first up, but you’re the one who went to bed last. At least, I think you were.”  
“Well, Balthazar was asleep when I got home last night.” It usually seemed as though Balthazar was Castiel’s only friend. He was a year older than Cas, and still home from college. Castiel was leaving for college in 2 months, same with Balthazar, since they were going to be going to the same school. It was still summer, after all, and Castiel wanted to enjoy it.   
“I might go to the library later on.” Castiel said. He smiled, he hadn’t been to library in a while and felt like he needed to clear his mind. The library always helped him think. Maybe he would start out as texting Sam. He needed to at least gain a little trust from texting him. Also, if he did it at the library, then he would not have to risk anyone in his family finding out, plus it would be a lot quieter there than it would be at home.   
Once everyone was awake, it could get really hectic. Especially when the twins were awake. They would always either harass Castiel, or argue to the point where everyone just wanted to lock themselves in their rooms and never come out. HIs family was an interesting one. It went, Naomi, Lucifer, Michael, Gabriel, Balthazar, Castiel, Anna, and then Rachel. Rachel was the baby of the family, being 14, while Naomi was 26. Naomi was the only one who moved out. Castiel was happy for that, she was extremely bossy. Lucifer and Michael were the twins, who were both 22. Heavens knew why they still lived at home, but they did. Gabriel was 21, Balthazar was 19, Castiel was 18, Anna was 17, and Rachel was 14. They had a huge family, so it was never boring.   
“Have fun.” His mom smiled. Castiel smiled. He went into the living room, taking his library book off the shelf. He already finished it, but he needed to collect the books he had to bring back. He sat down and closed his eyes. He went into his room, being quiet to make sure he didn’t wake up his brother. He picked out clothes for the day, making sure to put the piece of paper with Sam’s number in the pocket of the pants. Then, he walked into the bathroom to take a shower. Another great thing about being the first one to wake up, is the shower was actually hot. The last person always had the cold shower.   
Cas stripped of his clothing and turned the shower on. He stretched a little and looked at himself in the mirror as he waited for the water to warm up. He sighed. It wasn’t as though he was sexually unattractive, he just didn’t have the same bodies his brothers did. Castiel’s body was.....average. No physical part of him was amazing. He was just average. He couldn’t complain. At least he wasn’t extremely short was Gabriel was. A lot of girls loved how short Gabriel was. Then his other brothers were a lot more muscular than he was. It was probably because Castiel never went to the gym like they did. He wasn’t weak or anything, he was just....average.   
He looked at himself for a couple more moments, then stepped into the shower. He sighed when he felt the warm water hit his bare skin. He let his hair get wet before he grabbed the shampoo. He started washing his hair.   
He was still nervous to call Sam. Or even text him. He barely even knew what this guy would be like. He already knew this guy was physically attractive, though he would never admit that to anyone. He just hoped that he wasn’t an asshole. His music and the way the media makes him seem, he is kind of an asshole. However, when Cas actually met him, he didn’t seem that bad. He seemed...caring, at least to Castiel he was.   
Castiel took in a deep breath. He was starting to get anxious now. He couldn’t stop thinking of Sam. He tried thinking of something else, anything. He just couldn’t. He closed his eyes slightly and took a deep breath. He did not want to find Sam so attractive. It just kept getting worse and worse by the minutes. He wanted to hate him, so badly. Now he just really wanted to call him and be with him. 24 hours ago he wanted to punch the guy in the face, now he thought about being with him. He hated himself for this. Stupid Sam and his flirting and his hugs and his number.   
“Well, fuck me.” Castiel mumbled to himself, feeling himself get hard. This was just reaching rock bottom. He bit his lip slightly, letting the water slip off of him. He rested his hand on the shower wall in front of him. He gripped his cock, and slowly started stroking himself. He sped up after a while, not really thinking about anything anymore, though Sam was definitely in the back of his mind. He wondered how much better it would be to just feel Sam’s arms for hours.   
He started stroking faster, letting out tiny moans. His thoughts kept getting worse, and even dirtier than just holding. He wanted to stop, but once he started, he really could not stop thinking about it.   
He stopped pumping his hand, and pushed his thumb at the top of the head. He pressed it harshly and started to make circles with his thumb. He loved doing that to himself, feeling the pressure of his thumb. He moaned as loud as he could, without making the others hear him. The noise of the shower hid his moans. He never usually moaned when masturbating, but it was hard not to now. He figured that wasn’t enough, so he started to stroke himself as hard as he possibly could. His legs started feeling weak, and he could feel his orgasm getting closer and closer.   
He let out one last moan, and came into his hand. It was pathetic. What kind of person masturbates to someone the morning after they first met them? He washed it off his hands, making sure it went down the drain. He would not want anyone to find that. They’d make fun of him. Though, the shower was the only place he could do this sort of business, since he shared a room with his older brother. His brother caught him once, so he always decided to just do it in a shower, where no one was with him.   
He finished watching his hair and stepped out of the shower. He changed into his clothes, and walked out of the bathroom. He went into the kitchen. Anna was awake now.   
“Alright, I’m going to go now.” He said, grabbing his bag and putting it around his shoulder.   
“Where are you going?” Anna asked.  
“I’m going to the library” Castiel replied.   
“Oh. Can you take me to my friend’s house? It’s just a few minutes away from the library.” She asked. Castiel sighed.  
“I guess I could. Are you ready? I’m leaving now.”   
“Yeah. I showered last night, and I’m all dressed. Mom was going to bring me, but it’s just easier if you’re on your way there anyway.” Anna picked up her bag too. The two of them went into Castiel’s car and they left.   
Castiel liked Anna a lot more than Rachel. She was calmer, and her personality was a lot more like Castiel’s than Rachel’s was. She was the only girl that Castiel could relate to. He never liked Naomi, since she either just pushed Castiel aside, or bossed him around. She’d always make him do such stupid things, but Castiel was younger than her so he couldn’t stop her. He was more than happy when she moved away.   
The car ride was a little quiet, which Castiel liked. He dropped Anna at her friend’s house and then he drove to the library. He parked, walked inside, and dropped his books off at the book return. He knew the librarians by name now, so he said hi to them, and talked for a couple minutes. After that, he looked for the books he was going to read next.   
He picked three, and then sat down in his normal chair. Sometimes, he would just sit there and read for hours, until the library closed. It was a very comfortable chair. One of those cool bean bag ones everyone would argue over during elementary school. He would even nap sometimes in there. It was perfect.   
He sat there for four more hours, the time slipping through the words in his book. He glanced at the clock, it was 1. He closed his book, and took out his phone. It was the moment of truth. He took the slip of paper out from his pocket, and typed the number into his contacts.   
He clicked send message. He started staring at the screen for a couple minutes. What was he even going to say? He didn’t think about that. He felt like just saying ‘hi’ wasn’t enough. He didn’t want to write some huge paragraph. He was so nervous. He didn’t mentally prepare himself, to just simply write his first words.   
He eventually just settled on, ‘Hey. It’s that guy you gave your number to last night.’  
He stared at the message for a good 5 minutes, then sent it. He didn’t want to say his name at all in the text. Because, if he also gave his number to other guys, then he would send something like, ‘Oh, which one?’ That would mean that Castiel was nothing special. Just another cute guy. He hoped that wasn’t the response he would get. He wouldn’t be able to handle that.   
He was extremely nervous on how Sam was going to answer. He hoped that it was the right number. He hoped that Sam wouldn’t get the wrong impression on him. Castiel had never felt like this about a person before.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel waited for an hour, and he didn’t get a reply. He felt heart broken. His mind instantly went to the worst. This guy really didn’t care for him at all. He probably looked at the text and just laughed. He was probably laughing so hard he didn’t even want to answer. What if it was just a fake number? Maybe he wrote down some random person’s number and they’re going to get it and make Castiel feel horrible for getting the wrong number. His head started to hurt, he kept thinking about all of the horrible possibilities that could come out of this situation.  
He didn’t want Sam to be a dick to him. He wanted to talk to Sam and get to know him. God, he actually started thinking about this. Never in his life would he ever think about being friends or possibly more with Sam Winchester. He hated the guy for four years. Perhaps it was just the perspective he kept getting of him through his sister. He would probably be able to stand him more if his sister didn’t obsess over him constantly. He didn’t feel like this Sam was the same guy that he sister was apparently in love with. Though what was Castiel to say. He’d only said a couple words with this guy in his entire life. He couldn’t exactly be one to judge yet.  
His phone buzzed.   
The text read: ‘Oh, hey. Sorry it took awhile to answer. I was at rehearsal. Castiel, right? Gosh, did I spell it right? Sorry if I didn’t. -S’   
Castiel felt his heart stop. He smiled, but instantly hid it. He didn’t want to seem suspicious of anything. He stared at the text for a while. He couldn’t believe that Sam actually texted him back, and remembered his name. He didn’t know what to send back. He was too busy mentally freaking out.   
‘It’s alright. And yes, you did spell it right. Good job, you know how to spell.’ Castiel sent back. He felt like the last text he said was a little rude. But he didn’t want to seem like he was suddenly starting to really like him. It was crazy. How does someone go from hating someone to having a massive crush on them in less than 24 hours? Crazy people, that’s who. Castiel was starting to go crazy over this stupid guy. He didn’t like it one bit.  
‘Yeah. I do. I went to school. -S’ Sam sent back. Castiel smiled a bit again. He crossed his legs.  
‘Wow. School. That seems like a big accomplishment for you. Guess your school didn’t teach you about haircuts.’ He smiled to himself. He really hoped that Sam wasn’t taking these seriously. Castiel would feel really bad if he was.   
‘Very funny. I bet you like my hair. You’re probably jealous. -S’ Sam sent back. Castiel was definitely not jealous. He loved his hair. He kind of liked Sam’s too, but it was fun to joke around about it.   
‘I’m very jealous. Can you sense the sarcasm in that?’ Castiel sent.   
‘No. You liar. You’re so jealous of my hair you just want to cut it off and take it for yourself.’  
‘You caught me. That’s all I ever wanted in my life. The only reason I went to see you in concert. I only texted you for your hair. You’ve solved me. Congratulations.’ Castiel chuckled as he sent that last message.’  
‘You’re just so cute. In all seriousness, how are you doing? I feel like we’ve been starting off the wrong foot. -S’ Castiel frowned a little at that. They were just acting a little flirty. That’s how Castiel saw it. Maybe Sam thought Castiel was being rude. Now he felt bad. He didn’t really want Sam to think he was the rude one.   
‘I’m okay. I’m at the library when I spend 80% of my time.’ He sent.   
‘Oh. That’s cool. Which one? -S’   
‘The one downtown. Wait...why do you want to know?’ Castiel said, raising his eyebrows a bit, though he knew Sam couldn’t see him.   
‘No reason. Just a little curious. I wanted to make sure you were at a good library. -S’ Castiel wondered how long Sam had been in his town. They only had two libraries. Maybe he’d been here for a while and had been to them and wanted to make sure he was actually at a good one? Probably not.  
‘That’s weird.’ Castiel sent back.   
Sam didn’t answer for a while after that. He bit his lip softly. Maybe he scared him away with that last comment. Castiel felt really bad now. He decided he got tired of waiting and just started reading again. He started to get invested in his book, not sure how much time was passing. He just really loved reading.   
“You really do like reading, don’t you?” He heard from the table next to him. He put the book down and looked up. Castiel paused.   
“Did you really just come here? Because I told you I was here?” Castiel asked.  
Sam grinned, “Yeah. I mean, I don’t have rehearsal until tomorrow morning and I have nothing to do for the rest of the day. So I thought, why not?”   
Castiel raised his eyebrows. He felt his heart racing. “And you risked getting caught by paparazzi? Without any guards or anything? I’m impressed.” He said. He tried not to sound like he was about to have a heart attack.   
“Yeah. I kind of snuck out. Plus, if I don’t have any guards and wear my hoodie, I’m usually fine. Also, I made it so I have three look alikes at different hotels and tell everyone that’s where I am when in reality I’m at the one where I’m staying. Only about 4 people know which one it is.” Sam shrugged.  
“That’s pretty clever. Really clever, actually.” Castiel said. He really was impressed that Sam went through all of that just to hide from all of the screaming fans. Castiel could understand that. It was probably extremely hectic for him.   
“Thanks. I also have a wig for extreme measures.” He smiled. Sam should really stop smiling. It was too much for Castiel. He had a beautiful smile, and Castiel wanted to get all of his crushy thoughts out of his brain.   
“Impressive.” Castiel smiled, “You did all that just to come over here?”   
Sam nodded, “Yeah, I did. And, I saw that smile!” Castiel frowned after he said that.   
“I didn’t mean that. I was just impressed by how clever you can actually be” Castiel widened his eyebrows. He actually meant that. He wasn’t sure how intelligent this guy was, but now he could tell that he was actually a lot smarter than Castiel was expecting. That was definitely good for him. He liked smart men.   
“What? So now I’m stupid? I see how it is.” Sam chuckled.   
“I used to think you’re stupid. Now, not so much.” Castiel shrugged.  
“Anyway, what are you reading?” Sam asked, moving from the table and sat on the floor next to Castiel. He leaned over and looked at the book.   
“Silence Of The Lambs? I read that when I was in high school.” Sam smiled, “The movie was great too.”   
“This is my third time reading it. This series fascinates me.” He shrugged. He put the book in his bag. He looked back at Sam.  
“I wish I could read them again. I don’t have the time to anymore. Whatever. It was a great series when I read it. If I ever get the time I’ll read it again.” Sam sighed, “I miss reading.”   
Castiel felt bad for him. He didn’t know what he would do if he didn’t have enough time to read. It might be like that for when he goes to college, and he really hoped it didn’t. He’d probably cry.   
“That’s pretty sad. Don’t you get like time between tours?” Castiel asked.  
“Yeah, but it’s usually only a few months. I have to spend those working on new songs and stuff. It’s really hard sometimes I don’t get much time for myself. It’s always concerts and parties and interviews and awards shows. You know, that shit. This is the first time in months that I’ve actually gone somewhere that wasn’t for publicity.” Castiel frowned when he said that. He never thought about it that way. It must have been hard for Sam to never have free time to read. The more and more this guy talked to him, the less Castiel hated him. Castiel started feeling more and more important. Though he knew he really wasn’t. Maybe this guy was just being even more clever in trying to get into Castiel’s pants. Maybe Sam was just guilt tripping him into wanting to have sex.   
“That’s horrible. And a little flattering.” Castiel said.   
“Good. I meant it to be flattering to you. You’re just that interesting to me. You made a good first impression on me.”   
“I insulted you.”  
“Exactly. I like interesting people. Not those boring ones who worship me. It’s nice to have someone who doesn’t think I’m the greatest human on the planet. Being completely honest with you, I’m far from being great.”   
“Don’t say that. You have a pretty good singing voice. And you’re not a douche like I thought you were going to be.” Castiel reassured him. This guy really knew how to flatter someone.   
Sam smiled, “I don’t know whether to take that as a complement or be offended by that.” He laughed a little.  
“Take it as both. I’m not exactly complimenting you and not exactly insulting you. I’m in the middle.” He shrugged. Castiel meant it as a compliment but he didn’t want to seem like he was growing a huge crush on him. He didn’t want to make it obvious or anything.   
“Thanks. I guess. So. I want to know more about you.” Sam smiled.   
“Why would you want to know that? Aren’t you just going to be leaving like tomorrow?” Castiel asked. He completely forgot about that fact until now. It really upset him, now that he thought about it. Sam was on tour still. He was only going to have a couple days here. So Castiel probably was just going to be another hook up. Well, Castiel wasn’t going to allow that. If Sam wanted to ever think about having sex with him he was going to have to work for it.   
“Nope. My next concert is just in the state over, and that’s just for a day, then, my next concert is two weeks later, here again, so, I’ll be around here for about 3 weeks. I know that isn’t much time, but it’s better than nothing.” Sam shrugged. Castiel could see the look in his eyes, that he didn’t want that fact to be true. It was as if Sam wanted to stay longer than three weeks. This guy was acting like this to a guy he’s only known for about a half hour. It was a little fishy to Cas. But, he was just enjoying himself with all of the attention, so he didn’t mention anything about it yet.   
“Oh. Yeah, you’re right. It is better than nothing.”  
“Okay. I really feel like a terrible person right now. Let’s start over again for like the third time. You want to go out sometimes? Not like on a date, but just hang out as friends? I feel like I’ve been getting into your personal space and I don’t really want to seem like a creep to you. I can see it that you probably think I am and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. We can just sit here and read or go catch a movie or something. Anything. I’m a little bored with myself lately. And I’ve been lonely and I really just...need a friend.” Sam smiled.   
“That sounds cool. I’ll take you up on your offer.” Castiel said.   
“Take me to your favorite place here.” Sam said  
“Well, we’re already there. I will take you to my second favorite place though.” Castiel smiled.   
“And where is that?” Sam asked, a little curious on where Castiel would be taking him.  
“This coffee shop downtown. It’s really small and pretty unpopular. It’s nice and quiet and I swear there will not be too many people there.”   
“Oh. God, I love coffee. That sounds just great. I mean it. And another quiet place for once sounds like the perfect thing right now.” Sam smiled.  
“Great. Let me just check these books out.” He got up and check the books out, then went back to Sam, “C’mon, let’s go.” Castiel felt like he was going on an actual date with this guy already. But he had to imagine it as just a hang out with his new friend he just made. The friend he just so happened to masturbate to the thought of earlier. That’s definitely a best friend for life. Or, in Castiel’s sake, three weeks.   
A lot could happen in three weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam smiled and walked out of the library with Cas. He remembered to put his hood on and walk into the car as fast as possible. Everyone in the media thought he was in his hotel anyway. So it was unlikely that he wouldn’t get caught, but it was still a possibility. He had to take precautions to make sure he wasn’t caught. He even had a new hoodie bought for him so no one would recognize it. He wanted to get this right.  
Sam knew from the moment he saw Castiel that he liked him. It was simple. He hadn’t actually liked someone for a while. Most of the people he met at concerts were annoying fans. He did love his fans, but some of them went a little over the top. However, Castiel was...different. It was almost as if he treated Sam like an actual person. It was all Sam really wanted. The look Castiel first gave him. It was a mix of worry and something that almost seemed like hatred. Sam loved it. He knew then and there he wanted to get to know Castiel better. He tried to keep the flirting low now. He didn’t know if Castiel was gay or not. He sure hoped he was, because Sam really did like him. It was almost like love at first sight. Sam didn’t want to admit that to himself, because love at first sight never ended well. He liked to call it, ‘Crush at first sight’  
Castiel’s car was pretty nice. It wasn’t fancy at all. It was tiny, compared to what Sam was used to. He liked the smaller things sometimes. He was so used to limos, big cars and things that were over $50,000. Stuff like this really reminded Sam from when he was 18. That reminded him. He never really found out how old Castiel was. He prayed to god he wasn’t like 17 or 16. That would be a little awkward. It wasn’t like it would be illegal, just awkward. Sam didn’t want that to happen. If he were ever able to actually date Castiel, he didn’t want it to feel awkward because of age difference.   
“Hey, Cas...wait, can I call you Cas? It just seems a lot easier than Castiel.” Sam said. He kept feeling like every word he said was just fucking things up. He was so nervous that he would end up saying something wrong and having Castiel hate him. He didn’t want Castiel to think he was just some jerk playing around with him. Sam didn’t want any of that. He just wanted to be treated like a normal person. That was how Castiel was treating him, and he just loved it so much. He felt like his brain was taking this all too quickly. He was already thinking of scenarios as soon as he met Castiel. He kept thinking of possible outcomes of all his actions and getting extremely nervous. He wondered if that’s how Castiel felt too.  
“That’s fine. Everyone calls me Cas anyway.” Castiel replied to him.   
“Cool. I was just wondering. How old are you?” Sam asked.  
“Oh. I’m 18.” Castiel replied. He pulled into the side of the road, where you usually park in downtown areas. It was in front of a small coffee shop. Cas wasn’t lying when he said it was small. He did, however, see a couple of people in there. He started to get a little nervous. People in there were bound to recognize him. He would have to think of something on the spot if that did happen. If someone reported it to any news sites or posted a picture anywhere, it would put Castiel in danger. He didn’t want that to happen to Cas. He definitely didn’t deserve to be attacked by the media. If Cas wasn’t around him, he literally wouldn’t give a shit about who saw him. He’d probably take pictures with the fans. With Castiel around, who knew what rumors would start. Castiel’s life would changed just because Sam wanted to be friends with him. He liked Castiel too much to let that happen.   
They walked inside, “Oh, I’m 22 by the way.”  
“I knew that already. Trust me, my sister apparently knows everything about you.” Castiel chuckled. Castiel led them to a table, with two chairs.   
“That’s right. Your sister.” She probably knew nothing about Sam. She only knew about what he revealed to the public. If she knew everything, she’d hate him in an instant. Sam’s done a lot of things he wasn’t proud of, at all. Anyone would hate him.  
“Yeah. I’m still sorry for the way she acting.” Castiel rolled his eyes. Sam loved when he did that.   
“It’s fine. Trust me, I’m used to it.” He really was. He’d encountered worse people than her. He couldn’t even really remember what that girls name was. He wasn’t too good with names.   
“You must be. What kind of coffee do you like?” Castiel asked.   
“Hazelnut. Biggest size they have, with cream, raw sugar, and whipped cream. I’ll pay if you don’t have enough.” Sam said, smiling. Coffee was his live savior. He barely slept, and coffee was what always kept him awake.   
“Wow. Okay. I only have 5 bucks on me.” Castiel said, sighing a bit.   
“Don’t worry. I’ll pay.” Sam took his wallet out of his pocket, pulling out a twenty. He held it out for Cas to take.  
“I’m not going to take your money.”  
“Why not? I offered to pay.” Sam was a little confused. “I have plenty of money. 20 bucks isn’t much.”   
Castiel sighed, “Fine.” he took the bill from Sam and went up to the counter. Sam waited in his seat for Castiel to come back.  
He started playing with his fingers while he waited. He didn’t want to take out his phone because he knew he was probably getting yelled at for being out in public. His manager loved to send him rude texts when he wasn't doing what he was supposed to. Sam just kept texting to a minimum because it was usually just complaints.   
He didn’t exactly know what to do while he waited, though it probably wouldn’t take too long. He was still nervous someone would spot him. Though, the people in here seemed to be a little older, so they probably wouldn’t recognize him unless he started to sing. He still kept his hood up, just in case.  
After a few moments, Castiel came back. He put the cup in front of Sam.   
“There. Exactly as you said you wanted.” Cas almost looked smug that he remembered.  
Sam took a sip. Cas should have remembered to say raw sugar. He hated sugar that wasn’t like that. It was disgusting to him and was really bad for you. He always had to watch what he ate. Sam put the cup down and smiled at Castiel.  
“I got it right, right?” Castiel asked.  
“Sort of.” Sam shrugged, taking another sip.  
“Sort of? What do you mean sort of? I did everything you said.” Castiel frowned.  
“I don’t like white sugar. I like raw sugar.”  
“Wow. Does the princess want anything else? Oh, I’m sorry your cup isn’t plated with gold.” Castiel said, obviously sarcastically.  
“I’m not complaining, it’s fine, I’m just saying, I don’t like white sugar.”  
“This isn’t Starbucks. They just have regular sugar here. Jeez, you really are a pop star.” Castiel rolled his eyes and started drinking his.   
“Well, I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.” Sam continued to drink his coffee. It felt awkward after that.  
“So, tell me about your family. I know you have a sister and stuff. Is she your only sister?” He asked.  
Castiel raised his eyebrows, “There’s eight of us.”   
“Eight? Holy shit. How do you manage that? What are their names?” Sam asked, surprised.  
“It’s hard. I’m the third youngest. My sister, Naomi is the oldest. She’s extremely bossy and made me do everything for her. Then it’s my twin brothers, Lucifer and Michael. Before you ask, I don’t know why either. Then, it’s Gabriel. Then Balthazar, me, Anna, and Rachel.” Castiel said.  
“Wow. That’s a lot.” Sam took another sip of his coffee. Sam found this interesting. He wondered what it would be like to have a family again.   
“What about you? What’s your family like?” Castiel asked.  
“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Sam sighed. Castiel nodded.   
“Anyway, you should see my parents. My dad is a writer and my mom is a CEO of some company. They argue all the fucking time and it’s annoying. That’s one reason why I hate being home. My mom can also be a nutcase sometimes. She’s crazy around my family. My dad just kind of cowers behind her sometimes when she yells at him and that kind of shit. I don’t even know why they’re still together. My brother Balthazar is really cool. He’s basically my best friend. Same with my sister Anna, though she’s more of my sister that I can actually talk to. Rachel is just.....” he sighed, “Rachel. You’ve met her. Did you know we have a cat? Want to just guess his name”  
“Oh, oh god, don’t tell me.” Sam started.  
“Yup. Her cat’s name is Sam. Looks ” Castiel laughed.  
“That’s interesting. I can’t believe that. Just...wow. A cat named after me. I feel honored.” He jokingly put his hand on his heart.   
“You should. That’s the only pet we’re allowed to have. Though, it seems Sam likes me a lot better than Rachel.” Castiel said.   
Sam couldn’t help but smiled at that. It was true for him too. He liked Castiel a lot more than his sister. Of course, he knew Castiel a little bit more than he knew Rachel. Plus, Castiel acting a lot...nicer towards him than his sister did. Not nicer in the sense of words they say, but nicer in the empathetic term. Castiel knew that Sam was a real person and not some kind of idol that he needed to worship.   
"So anyway. I know you like to read. Which book is your favorite?" Sam asked.  
"God, don't ask me that. I have way to many. I'm not answering that."  
"Oh. That makes sense. I probably feel the same way. I love to read and I just can't pick my favorite. It's like asking me to pick my favorite song I've written. And I mean that I've written, not those crappy ones I have written for me."  
"You sing songs that aren't written by you?" Castiel asked, a little shocked.  
"Yeah. It sucks. My contract doesn't let me. They want me to keep the same image so they don't let me use my own songs. I can't blame them." Sam shrugged, "My first song, however, was actually written by me."  
"That's funny. That's the only one I can actually listen to without wanting to puke." Castiel said.   
"Same with me. God, I hate the songs I have to sing. They're so fucking stupid. I'm just glad I have my own guitar to play my own music for myself. It's a great feeling. Like a concert just for me." Sam smiled.   
"That's really sad. Not even in a mean way. It's just...Sad that you're not even allowed to sing your own songs that you wrote. It's almost like you have your rights of an artist just ripped out from you. It's not like you can't write. It's just they're cruel enough to care more about your image than whatever you want." Castiel said. Sam smiled at that. No one ever said that to him before. They usually just said to suck it up. He was just starting to like Castiel more and more.   
"Why don't you just change contracts if they don't let you use your own lyrics?" Castiel asked.   
"I can't. I'll be out of a job if I do. I'm only on the contract for two more years, so I just have to wait that long. I'll probably be unpopular by then anyway. I'm surprised I haven't lost all my fans yet. I'm still going strong. Which makes me happy. At least I'm making other people happy."  
Castiel didn't talk for a while. He just kind of looked at Sam, and Sam looked back at him. He could tell in Castiel's eyes that he was concerned, and felt bad for Sam.   
Sam felt his phone ring. He sighed, “I’ll be right back.” He stood up, “I’m sorry.” He walked into the bathroom.  
“Sam! Where have you been! You have a photo shoot in a half hour!” His manager yelled at him.   
Sam sighed, “Shit! I forgot. I’ll be right there, I promise.” he hung up. He walked back into the room with Castiel. “Listen. I completely forgot that I have a photo shoot in a while. I’ll probably be done by like 8. If you want to hang out then or?” Sam asked.  
Castiel looked a little heartbroken, “Alright. I....I’ll call you...or something. I don’t know” He said softly.   
“I’m so sorry. I really am, Cas. I don’t want to have to do this, but I’ll be screamed at if I don’t go.” Sam apologized.  
“Just go. It’s fine.” Castiel sighed.   
Sam smiled. He could tell that Castiel was hurt by him suddenly having to leave, though he tried to show that he was fine with it.   
“Can I at least have another hug?” Sam asked.   
Castiel rolled his eyes, nodding and standing up. He wrapped his arms around Sam, and Sam returned the hug. This hug felt different than the first one. It was more comfortable. He took a deep breath and rested his chin on Castiel’s head. He was so short compared to Sam.   
After a couple moments, Castiel pulled away. He looked up at Sam, quickly smiling, he then frowned and sat back down.   
“Bye. I’ll see you later. Or tomorrow. I’m completely free tomorrow after 12, I swear, I double checked. And I’ll cancel shit so I can see you. I really want to be your friend. You’re a lot better than my other fans who just want to treat me like a god. Because I’m not. I’m nothing like that. I just....you treat me differently and it’s nice to be treated like a human being every once and a while, you know?” Sam confessed.  
“Well, you are human. I shouldn’t treat you any differently because you’re famous.” He said the last few words quietly. “You should really get going.”  
Sam smiled and started to leave, “Shit...Can I get a ride?” He asked.   
“Yeah, sure.” Castiel got up and then he drove Sam to where Sam told him to go. Then Sam went off to his stupid photo shoot that he never even wanted to go to. He just wanted to hang out with Castiel more.   
He got in there and started the photo shoot. He couldn’t stop thinking about Castiel the whole time, which messed up his focus a little bit. The cameraman just thought he was getting sick. Maybe Sam was starting to catch something from Cas. He never felt this way about someone he knew for a day. Just one day and this guy was making Sam lose his focus because he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Sam shouldn’t like it, but he was loving this. He was loving the feeling of having a crush again. Though, the last time he did, it didn’t end well. It did cause Sam to write a song and gain his popularity, but the relationship itself was terrible. He hoped that if he and Cas ever got into a relationship, it wouldn’t end like that. Sam would probably hate himself even more than he already did.   
He couldn’t afford that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little late. I've been pretty busy and couldn't write as often.

Castiel went home after he dropped Sam off.   
“Hey Cas. Did you have fun wherever you went?” His older brother, Gabriel asked. Castiel noticed he was the only one there. Which was weird. The family usually all hung out in the living room and watched TV together during the day.  
“Where is everyone?” Castiel asked.   
“They all went to the movies. They’ll probably be back at like 7.” Gabriel shrugged, “I didn’t feel like going to the movies today. I went to the movies yesterday anyway. So, it really doesn’t matter to me.” Gabe stood up, “So, where have you been? It’s 6. You were gone all day.”   
“Nowhere.” Castiel said, sitting down next to him on the couch.   
“Liar. Tell me.”   
“Just the library.” Castiel mumbled. He was never a good liar. He always looked at the floor when he lied, or avoided eye contact. Everyone in his family knew that. It was really hard for him. He was going to have to learn to lie better if he wanted to hang out with Sam. He was going to have to learn to lie better to his younger sister.   
“Liar. I know you, Cas. I can tell when you lie. Tell me.” His brother just seemed to itch towards him. Castiel hated when Gabe did this. He did this all the time to him, forcing him to tell him things.   
“I was just out with my friend.” He said.   
“What kind of friend?” Gabriel said, in a really suggestive way. Castiel rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to tell Gabe or not.   
“Just a friend. Right now, at least.” Castiel didn’t look at Gabriel.   
“Oooooh. I get it. You have a crush. That’s so cute.” Gabriel laughed.  
“No it’s not. It’s not cute at all.” Castiel frowned. He looked back at Gabriel.   
He could see Gabe grinning back to him. “Tell me who it is.”  
“No.” Castiel said instantly.  
“Judging by that, it’s someone I know. Tell me or I’ll tell mom you have a crush and I tell her it’s someone really stupid that she would believe and then you’ll get grounded.”  
“I know you’re joking. And still, no. I’m not going to tell you.”  
“Aw, come on! I won’t tell anyone. Pretty please?” He was getting on Castiel’s nerves. He really did want to tell someone, but he was just a little bit afraid that Gabriel wouldn’t keep his mouth shut about it. He knew his brother. That guy couldn’t usually keep his mouth shut. Though, Castiel knew Gabriel never meant to hurt people whenever he told secrets. He just loved gossip, and always felt bad when it hurt someone. Gabriel didn’t usually think things through.   
“No. I said no.” Castiel finally said after a couple minutes of thinking. He just did not want to tell Gabriel.   
“You’re boring, Cas. I’m just your brother trying to talk to you about your love life that probably doesn’t exist.” Gabriel dramatically sighed.   
Castiel groaned, “Fine. But, if I tell you, you have to promise not to tell a soul. And I mean it. I could get into a lot of shit and so could he if anyone found out.” He decided to just say that, to get Gabriel to stop annoying him already.  
Gabriel raised his eyebrows, “What? Are you crushing on a 12 year old boy or something? Are you a pedofile, Cas? That’s disgusting. How dare you.”  
“God, no. He’s 22.” Castiel couldn’t believe his brother could say that, whether he was joking or not. Castiel would never do that. It’s gross.   
“Oooh. An older boy. What’s his name?” Gabriel smirked.  
Castiel paused, “Sam.”   
“Sam. Hmmm....where have I heard that name before...That’s a little....” Gabriel started.  
“Yes. I know.” Castiel sighed.  
“That’s cute. Both you and Rachel crushing on a guy named Sam. Maybe you’ll both get married to them and we’ll have two Sams in the family.” Gabriel started laughing.  
“It’s actually him though.” Castiel said. He really should not have said that.   
“What do you mean?” Gabriel asked.  
“I mean, Sam Winchester is the guy I’ve been hanging out with all day.” Castiel hated himself for saying that. Sam was gonna kill him.   
“No way. You’re lying.”  
“I’m not. Look. Here’s his number. Lemme call him. Though, he’s at a photoshoot right now,” He knew Sam would be pissed, but he wanted to prove a point.  
“Dude, you’re a crazy stalker. That’s really creepy.”   
“I’m not! I think he has a crush on me too. He’s the one who gave me his number when we went to the meet and greet.” Castiel smiled a bit, remembering that.  
Gabriel grabbed Castiel’s phone, and hit call on Sam’s number. He turned speaker on. It rung. After a while, Sam picked up.  
“You’re lucky you called me right now. I’m on break for like 5 minutes. What’s up?” Sam said.   
“What’s your name? Your full name?” Gabriel said into the phone, trying to mimic Castiel’s voice, but it was terrible.   
“Uh......Barack Obama.” Castiel could just feel the sarcasm of Sam’s tone. It was really hard not to laugh.  
“I don’t know. My brother has you listed as That Asshole on his phone. I didn’t know he hated Obama.” Gabriel chuckled.   
“I do not!” Castiel blurted out.   
“You let your brother see your phone?” Sam said, almost sounding a little hurt.  
“He forced me to. I’m sorry.” Castiel sighed,   
“It’s fine.” Sam replied.   
“Who is this guy? For real.” Gabriel looked so confused.  
“I’m Sam Winchester. You know, the guy that your little sister obsesses over.” Sam sighed.  
“Really? Oh my god. Holy shit. I need to tell everyone about this my brother likes a celebrity” Gabriel started grinning, and took his phone out, as if to start texting people.   
Castiel started blushing, “Gabriel!”   
“Uh. You really can’t though.” Sam seemed extremely serious about that. Castiel felt lucky that Sam seemed to just ignore the like part. At least, Castiel hoped that he just ignored it.  
“Why not? Everyone will just laugh it off. It’ll be awesome! People would love Cas.” Gabriel smiled.  
“Gabe...it doesn’t just work like that. I don’t know what would happen, but I don’t want anyone to find out anyway. It’s only been a day.” Castiel said to his brother, frowning.   
“So? It can be an hour and I’ll want to boast about it. My brother knows someone famous. I’m surprised you’re not excited about this, Cassie. I would be telling the world and bragging to everyone if I were you. I mean, come on.” Gabriel said.   
“Gabriel, right? Make Castiel leave the room right now.” Sam said. He sounded even more serious about that.   
“Why?” Castiel asked, frowning.   
“Because. I need to tell him something...and I....it’s just something only he should know.” Sam said softer, almost like he was apologizing to Cas.   
Gabriel looked at Castiel. He sighed, and left the room, to let Gabriel and Sam talk. He was nervous. He wondered what that was even supposed to be about. He sat down in his room. He laid his head on his pillow. He really could not believe it was happening. Someone actually wanted to be his friend. It barely ever happened. He could not stop smiling. Especially the fact that Sam was famous and rich. Someone who meant something in the world, felt like Castiel was something. That was a huge thing for Cas.   
Maybe that is why Cas had a crush on Sam. He was one of the first people to be nice to him without thinking, and Castiel really liked that. Cas really liked that Sam went out of his way for him. Even if it was all just being friendly. Castiel loved the attention that he was getting. He liked having a friend. It was still too early to really tell, but for now, Castiel really just enjoyed it. He secretly enjoyed the attention, seeing as he always told people he wanted to be alone. Thing was, he hated being alone. It felt horrible. He was always lonely, and never wanted to open up to people who weren’t his family. But...Sam felt different. He felt different from everyone else. He felt like he actually had a heart.   
It took almost 10 minutes, before Gabriel walked back in the room. He handed Cas the phone, which was turned off.  
“What happened?” Castiel asked.   
“He told me not to tell you. He seems like a nice guy, very persuasive.” Gabriel said, and sat on Castiel’s bed.   
“Oh.” Castiel really wondered what Sam said. It must have been important because it took 10 minutes to say.   
“Yeah. We talked about you and we also talked about what would happen if people found out you guys were hanging out. It would be really scary. So, yeah, I won’t tell a soul. I promise. Though, imagine if Rach ever found out about this. The look on her face when she finds out. It would break her heart. She’d cry. Her life would be over. She’d probably hate you for the rest of your life. Though, she would probably just be angry. And cause a fit, complaining to mom. Something like, ‘Mom! Cas stole my boyfriend! This isn’t fair, he’s such an asshole, blah blah blah.’ You know how she is when she’s jealous” Gabriel chuckled  
“Why would she be jealous? We’re just friends.” Castiel shrugged.  
“For now. You never know what could happen. Anything could happen. You two could fall in love and have many babies” Gabriel smirked. Castiel frowned at that comment, though he was smiling on the inside. He didn’t want to make his crush too obvious.   
Gabriel started grinning, “Well, I’m going to go back in the living room. Oh, right, Sam wants to hang out with you at 8. He said you guys should decide where you go then. Though, mom probably won’t want you out too late. You know how she can be, it’ll be scary. I’d say you two should hang out until like, 11. That’s when I come back. I find the whole curfew thing stupid, we’re adults, but mom is just scary when she’s pissed. Anyway, he said he’ll pick you up, he has the black car. The one with the creepy dark windows.” he winked.   
Castiel smiled, “Oh, that’s cool. I think I’m going to take a nap, or something while I wait for him to come..” He said, “Or read. Probably read.”  
Gabriel nodded, “That’s cool. Also, you may want to put something better on when you go out tonight. I mean, come on. You wear t-shirts too often. Put a polo on or a sweater, or something. I’m being serious. You look homeless with those huge shirts.”   
“No I don’t! I feel comfortable with this. I don’t care what you think. I don’t need to impress him by the way I dress, or impress anyone. ” Castiel said, crossing his arms.  
“Fine, fine. Whatever. I’m just trying to help you, bro.” Gabriel got off the bed. “Don’t mess this up, okay? I know I shouldn’t say this, but he really likes you too. Don’t make things too fast. Get to know him before you really do something you may regret later. Take it from me. Don’t rush things.”   
Castiel raised his eyebrows. Sam liked him back? This felt like what it would be like for 11 year olds. He didn’t care, though. Sam liked him back. After only a day, someone else started to like him. It took some people years to warm up to Cas without getting pissed at him all the time. He was so happy. Gabriel left the room, “Seeya Cassie. Good luck, and just...remember what I said.”  
Castiel took his book out, and started to read again. He was excited for later. He knew he wouldn’t want to date Sam yet. It was way too early. He only just met him yesterday. However, he did want to end up dating Sam. He knew it would be tough. He knew it would be hard, since Sam would be on the road. He knew that eventually people would have to find out about them if they did date. He knew it would probably never happen, or even work out at all. However, it didn’t hurt for Castiel to dream.


	7. Chapter 7

A little while later, at 7:30, most of Castiel’s family came back. He really didn’t care that they were back. He just wanted Sam to come pick him up already. It seemed like a half hour would be way too long for him to wait.  
“Hey Cassie.” His brother, Balthazar, said as he came into their room. “I can see how much fun it is to be reading.” he said, sarcastically.   
“It is actually. Probably better than whatever movie you went to see.” Castiel said back, closing his book and sitting up.  
“That’s true. It really sucked. Plus, Rachel and Anna whispered to each other almost the whole time. And of course, I had to sit next to them. I barely got to enjoy the film, at all.” Balthazar rolled his eyes, “How have you been doing? I haven’t seen you all day.”  
“I’ve been pretty good. I went to the library, then to coffee, and came home. I’m gonna go out for a bit at 8 too.” Castiel shrugged. He knew Balthazar wasn’t as nosey as Gabriel was, so he wouldn’t ask too many personal questions about it.   
“Oh, that’s nice. You seem pretty busy today.” Balthazar smiled.  
“Yeah. It’s nice to actually go out and do something for once. Though, I also did last night too, but that wasn’t too fun.”   
“Oh yeah. How was it? Did Rach drive you crazy?” Balthazar asked.  
Castiel nodded, “Oh, hell yeah. She was really annoying. She kept running away, and getting lost. She also would not stop screaming.” Castiel said.  
Balthazar chuckled, “And how was she like when she finally met Sam?” He asked.  
“Oh, this is the best part.” Castiel was really going to love talking about this. All of the irony that goes into his sister’s love for Sam, and Castiel’s fake hatred for him. It was going to be too much fun to talk about this moment. Like it meant nothing to Cas, when in reality it meant so much to him now.   
“So, we walked in, and the first thing Rachel does is run in and hugs this guy. He looked so uncomfortable. He looked like he was actually scared of her.”   
“I can see that happening, the poor guy.” Balthazar smiled, “What else?”  
“So then, he was like, ‘Do you want a picture or an autograph?’ And then she took a picture of him, then nuzzled her head into his chest, and was like, ‘I just want to enjoy this moment. I love you’ I mean, she literally just told this guy that she loves him” Castiel said.   
“Wow. I’m not surprised at all at this. Did he like her attention?”   
“Not really. He seemed uncomfortable the whole time. He had such a pained look in his eyes.” Castiel laughed a little. He liked talking to Balthazar. He was one of the only family members who barely ever teased Castiel.  
“Oh. So did you get to talk to him?” Balthazar asked. Castiel shrugged.  
“He said hi to me, and that’s basically it.” He looked at Balthazar, trying to avoid the things he usually did whenever he lied.   
“Oh, that sucks.”  
“No really. It’s not like I actually wanted to talk to the guy or anything. I hate him anyway. He’s kind of a douchebag.” Castiel really felt bad for saying these kind of things. He felt as if Sam could actually hear him say these kinds of things. Castiel knew he was probably going to be angry at himself later on.   
“Yeah, I always thought that too.Just the way this guy acts just spells out douche” It took a lot in Castiel not to physically look pissed off for his brother saying that.   
“Yeah, I know right? And his songs? They’re all mushy lovey crap. And I am pretty sure that guy doesn’t even have a girlfriend or anything.” Castiel said. He felt bad for that too, because Sam’s contract didn’t let him sing anything but mushy love songs. It was actually pretty sad for him.   
“I know. Especially the first one that go popular. It was really annoying and angsty, and really got stuck in your head.” Castiel tried so hard not to actually from at that. That’s the only song that Sam’s ever actually written that he was able to make into a record. Castiel wondered about the story behind that one. It kind of brought along the message that the other person was an asshole, but somehow he liked it. It really made Castiel wonder. Who was that guy? Or girl....Castiel wasn’t sure about that part. Most of Sam’s songs seem gender neutral. He’d have to ask him, probably not tonight, since it was still early in their friendship. Maybe once Sam started to trust Castiel more, then he would ask more of the personal questions that were really starting to bother him.  
“Yeah. Though, I kind of like his first song.” Castiel shrugged.   
“Oh, well, I don’t really like it. Anyway, I have homework to do. I wonder why I even took summer classes.” Balthazar sighed.  
“You’re doing all your homework on a sunday night? Balthazar...” Castiel frowned.  
“Not all of it! I did most of it last night. I’m just finishing it up tonight. You’re not my mom.” Balthazar said, pulling his books out of his backpack.  
“Exactly. Mom would be worse.” Castiel rolled his eyes.  
“Yeah. She would.”   
“Anyway, I’m going to change and get ready. I’m leaving in like ten minutes.” Castiel stood up.  
“What? You have a hot date?” Balthazar smiled.  
“No. Just going out with a couple friends.” Castiel shrugged, and looked in his closet for a different shirt.  
“Not to sound rude, but I didn’t know you had friends.” Balthazar said.  
“I met this guy at the concert. He was sitting next to us, he hated Sam as much as me, so I talked to him. He’s my friend now.” Castiel shrugged, happy Balthazar couldn’t see his face. That was such a big lie, though it was sort of true. He did meet Sam at the concert, and talked to him. Castiel ended up picking a white shirt, and one of his jackets that he had. He barely ever wore it.   
“Oh. So, it is a date. I can tell. You never dress semi-nicely.” Balthazar grinned.  
“It’s not a date.” Castiel replied sharply.   
“Whoa, there, Cassie. No need to get defensive.”   
“I’m not.” Castiel looked in the mirror to make sure his hair was okay. He looked back at Balthazar, who was just chuckling at him.   
“I’m going to go wait in the living room.” Cas said, getting up and going into the living room, and watched the window to see when Sam was going to come. He still had like ten minutes left to go. Castiel didn’t want to wait.   
“So, where have you been all day?” He didn’t notice the twins on the couch.   
“Places.” Castiel said.  
“Places? Wow, Cassie, so interesting.” Lucifer said.   
“It’s none of your business.” Castiel frowned, not looking at them. They liked to push Castiel around a lot too. Most people in his family did.   
“Really? We’re older than you. We should know where you have been.” Michael stated.   
“Aw, come on. Give the kid some slack. He’s probably just been crossing streams with some old guys.”   
“That’s really disgusting.” He heard Michael say.   
“It probably happened. He probably does it all the time. Says he goes to the library, and fucks with desperate guys in alleyways. Who knows with him.” He heard Lucifer laugh.  
Castiel rolled his eyes, “I’m going to go wait outside.” He mumbled.  
“What? You’re going somewhere? You’ve been gone all day. Have you asked mom? She wouldn’t want you out so late.” Michael said in an angry tone.  
“Yeah. Mom already knows. You’re not in charge of me. Leave me alone. I’m 18 anyway. I’m not a kid anymore.” Castiel turned around to look at them, getting ticked off. “Leave me alone. I don’t ask you about everything you do.”  
“Someone’s snappy today.” Lucifer chuckled.   
“More like annoying.” Michael frowned.   
“Shut up.” Castiel mumbled, and walked outside. He really hated his brothers sometimes. He sat on their front porch. It was really warm. Well, of course it was, it was in the middle of July. Of course it would be warm. He was lucky that the jacket wasn’t really heavy. He’d probably end up taking it off later anyway if it got too hot. Not in a sexual way, he wasn’t ready for that kind of shit yet. He took his phone out to check the time. Five minutes left. Castiel sighed.   
After what felt like forever, he saw the car come in. Castiel sighed in relief and stood up. He got in the car.  
“Hey.” Sam smiled.   
“Hey. God, my family is so fucking nosy, I’m so sorry about my brother.” Castiel apologized, and buckled in.   
“Oh, it’s fine. I have it all figured out anyway. It won’t be much of a problem. Unless he opens his mouth about it, then we’re going to have a lot of shit going on. But as long as he listens, we’ll be fine.” Sam started to drive.  
“Where are we going anyway?” Castiel asked.  
“Not sure. I have a couple of ideas, but I don’t know. I was just thinking we could watch a movie back at my hotel room.” Sam shrugged.  
“That’s fine.” Castiel hoped that’s all that was what was going to happen.   
“Cool. It’s really nice. You know, the five star ones that only us rich people get.” Castiel could tell Sam was joking. Castiel knew it probably really was one of those nice ones.   
“You should fucking see the bathroom. It’s amazing. It has like a hot tub in it.” He saw Sam grinning.   
“That sounds...nice.”   
“I know, right? Anyway, what time do you have to be home tonight?” Sam asked.  
“Before 11. That’s my curfew” Castiel answered.  
“Cool.” Sam pulled into the driveway of the hotel. He put his hood up, and the two rushed into the hotel. Once they got into the room, Castiel raised his eyebrows. Sam wasn’t lying. It was really nice in there. It looked like it would cost a fortune, though he knew Sam definitely had the money for it.   
“Awesome, right? Feel the couch.” Sam sat on the couch. Castiel smiled a bit and sat on the couch next to him.  
“You’re right. Wow. This hotel room probably costs more than my house all together.” Castiel said, it probably did.  
“It’s 400 a night. It has two bedrooms, and it’s basically like an apartment.”  
“Holy shit, 400 a night. I didn’t even know that was legal. I don’t even earn 400 bucks in a week with my job.”   
“Where do you work?” Sam asked.  
“Well, I haven’t started yet, really. It’s just some small bookstore.” Castiel shrugged, “I got the job last week. I thought it would probably be the best for me for my first job. I wanna be out of the house as soon as I can. I’m not going to be like my brothers, still 22 and living at home.”   
“Oh. That’s awesome. I wish I could work at a quiet place. But sadly, I work at the exact opposite.” He chuckled. Sam ran his fingers through his hair, and took a deep breath.  
“Anyway, what movies do you have here?” Castiel asked.   
“Not sure. I could just order one. Any movie you want to see.” Sam smiled. “The tv here is badass. Surround sound, HD, and all that awesome stuff.”   
“That’s great. I can’t think of what movie to watch...Actually, I haven’t seen Red Dragon yet. We can just watch that.” Castiel shrugged. He had seen it before, many times, but he couldn’t think of anything else to watch.  
“Really? Oh, it’s great.” Sam smiled, “Well, I only saw half of it on a plane once. From what I saw, it was pretty cool.” He turned the tv on, and took the remote. He went through the on demand channel, and picked it out. “I’ll go make us some popcorn.” He got up and went into the kitchen kind of area of the hotel room. Castiel waited a while for him to get back.   
"I'm back. Got the popcorn." Sam smiled and sat down. He put the popcorn between them, keeping his eyes on the movie. Castiel watched it too, occasionally sticking his hand in the popcorn and ate some. It tasted really fancy, with a lot more spices than just butter. It was wonderful. He really liked popcorn, and this was making it so much better.   
Once the movie was over, Castiel just has to ask. "Where did you get this popcorn?" He asked. He really needed to buy some for himself.   
"It came with the hotel. I can order some for you if you want. I get all this shit for free." Sam replied, putting the bowl on the table and scooted a little closer to Castiel.   
Castiel smiled. "That would be awesome. So we have another half hour. What do you wanna do, Sammy?"   
Sam shrugged. He started to breathe heavily, out of no where. He closed his eyes, and gritted his teeth. "Don't know. I'll be right back. I need something." Sam got up and went into one of the bedrooms. That was weird. Castiel waited for him, propping his legs up on the couch and laying down. Even the couch was comfortable. It was like he was in a rich person's house. Though, he was just in a rich person's hotel room. There wasn't really a difference.   
Sam came back, with a cigarette in his mouth, and a lighter. Castiel raised his eyebrows. His heart almost sank. He frowned. Sam lit the cigarette, and put the lighter in his pocket. He started letting out puffs of smoke. He leaned against the door. He looked almost sad all of the sudden. "I didn't know you smoked." Castiel said softly.   
"Once you've been through what I've been through, it's hard not too. I've been smoking for four years. It helps calm me down." Sam sighed.   
"That's how long you've been in the singing business." Castiel felt really sad. He didn't know it was that bad.   
"Yeah. It's...really rough. I don't want to talk about. Also, don't call me Sammy" Sam seemed different. He was usually always happy, and smiling. This was different.   
"Sorry." Castiel said softly. "Maybe I should just go home or something." He started to feel bad, like he really did something wrong.   
"No. Please. Don't leave." Sam sat next to him. Castiel could smell the smoke. He hated that smell, but he didn't mention it.   
"I'm sorry, Cas. I just don't want to talk about that. I don't want you to go. That's the last thing I want." Sam looked down, letting out another puff. There must be something about Sammy that really triggers him. Maybe it has something to do with that boyfriend he wrote the song about. That was probably it. Since, he said he started when he was a singer. He must have hid it really well, since the press never found out about it. Well, Sam was very clever with how he hides his secrets. Who knew what other secrets he had. It made Castiel really nervous. He hoped he wasn't a murderer or anything.   
"It's alright. It's my fault." Castiel said softly.   
Sam looked up at him, "No, it's not. You didn't know."   
Castiel nodded. Sam continued with his cigarette. It felt awkward now.   
"Anyway. We should hang out again soon. What are you doing tomorrow?" Sam asked. Castiel shrugged.   
"I have work from ten to three. After that, I'm free." Castiel said, thinking a bit.   
"Cool. I'll pick you up from work, if you want me too." Sam said softly.   
Castiel nodded, "That sounds nice."   
"Maybe we can go to a movie, and then we can go to eat something." Sam said. It felt like that would definitely be a date. Castiel smiled. It was just a friend thing. No dating yet.   
Sam and Castiel talked for a while longer. It was nice. It had only been a day, and Castiel felt like he's known Sam for longer. His thoughts on him changed completely in the 24 hours.   
"You gotta bring me home before my mom murders me." Castiel said, looking at the clock.   
"Right. That sucks, but yeah. I don't want you to get in trouble." Sam finished his cigarette, and put it in the ashtray, that Castiel didn't notice until now.   
Sam brought him outside, and drove him home. Once he was home, he got out of the car. Sam rolled the window down.   
"Oh. By the way, I like the outfit you're wearing. Though, I like the simpler stuff a little better. It looks nice on you." Sam smiled.   
Castiel smiled a bit, "Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow "  
"Yeah. Goodnight Cas."  
"Goodnight Sam. Get some sleep. Its not good for you to stay up late. You have nothing else to do at night. Promise me you'll sleep." Castiel said softly.   
Sam sighed, "I'll try." He rolled the window up, and started to drive away. Castiel went back inside and into his room.   
"So. How did it go?" Balthazar asked.   
"Fine." Castiel shrugged, and sat on his bed.   
"You seem better than just fine." Balthazar grinned.   
“It was fine. Okay?” Castiel wished Gabriel was here right now. He’s the only one he could talk about it to. He stripped down to boxers and pulled one of the blankets over him. “I’m tired.”  
“Did someone have sex tonight?”   
“Shut up. No I didn’t. God, why does everyone always say shit like that to me.”  
“Because you’re an 18 year old virgin. That’s why.”   
Castiel rolled his eyes and turned over on to his side. “I’m going to sleep.”  
“Wow. Fine.” Balthazar turned the light off, and used his flashlight to work on homework.   
Castiel fell asleep, after thinking for what felt like hours about Sam.


	8. Chapter 8

A week passed. Castiel and Sam really got to know each other better. They would hang out almost every day, unless Sam had a photoshoot, practice, or an interview. There was also the fact that Castiel started work. They got as much time as they possibly could together, and Castiel loved it. He was really starting to like him so much more. It started to feel as though Castiel knew him for years, when in reality it had only been a week, but still.   
“Good Morning, Cassie.” Gabriel said as Cas walked into the kitchen.   
“Where is everyone else?” Castiel asked.   
“Oh, out to breakfast. It’s Rachel’s birthday, remember? You were sleeping and no one dared to wake you up. You’re scary when you’re grumpy.” Gabriel chuckled.  
“Oh....how come you’re home then?” Castiel asked.  
“I’m not risking going out to breakfast with all of them.” Gabriel said. Castiel wouldn’t have gone anyway either. There usually ended up fighting or embarrassing everyone.   
“So, do you have any plans with your boyfriend today?” Gabe asked.  
“He isn’t my boyfriend. And yes. Since it’s Sunday I don’t have work, so, we’re going out for coffee this morning.” Castiel said.  
“You should invite him over here. They’ll be gone until 11, and I wanna meet this guy in person. Give him my rules about you. And embarrass you” Gabriel grinned.   
“I don’t know...I’ll ask him” Castiel took his phone out, ‘Hey, do you want to come over to my house? Everyone else is out until 11, well, except Gabe, and he wants to meet you’ he sent to Sam.  
He almost instantly got an answer, ‘That’s fine. I can only be there for like a half hour. I don’t want to risk them getting home too early. I’m on my way now. -Sam’   
“Yeah. He’s coming. Shit, I’m still in my pajamas.” Castiel realized he was still only wearing boxers.   
Gabriel smirked, “Leave it. I bet he’ll love the view.”   
Castiel glared at his brother for a couple seconds, “Shut up. No. I’m going to go shower quickly. If he comes just entertain him for a while.” he ran into the bathroom. He quickly took his boxers off and turned the shower on. He wasn’t going to have enough time to jerk off, though he wished he did. He’d feel weird masturbating if Sam was in the house. Especially if it was Sam he was getting himself off to.   
He stepped in the shower and quickly cleaned himself. He washed his hair, and all that. He got out. “Fuck.” he left his clothes in his room. He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom.  
“Oooh, Cassie.” Gabriel smirked, “Like the outfit you’ve got going on there.” Castiel rolled his eyes at his brother. He was always so weird.  
Castiel looked over to him, and to his horror, him and Sam were sitting at the kitchen table. The last person he wanted to see him half naked was Sam. Well...when the time is right he’d be able to, but at the moment, he did not want Sam to see him like this. Castiel’s face turned red, and he ran over to his room. He quickly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.   
He walked back into the kitchen, “Sorry about that.” he said quietly.   
“It’s fine.” Castiel could tell Sam had been laughing. Castiel sat next to him.   
“How long have you been here?” He asked Sam.  
“About 5 minutes. You were still in the shower when I got here. I’ve just been talking to your brother.” Sam said.   
“Oh. Did he say something rude? He usually does that.”  
“No. I just talked to him about you and your guys’s relationship” Gabriel said, “I’m offended that you’d think I’d be rude to your boyfriend” He grinned.  
Castiel looked at him darkly, “He’s not my boyfriend.”   
“He kinda is.....you guys go out...every single day for like a week. You talk about him to me all the time...” Gabriel started.  
“That doesn’t mean we’re dating. Wow, Gabriel. Don’t say shit like that when he’s sitting right there.” Castiel frowned.   
“So?” Gabriel shrugged.  
“It’s uh...it’s fine.” Sam said softly. He almost looked hurt by what Castiel said.   
The three of them talked for a while longer, not bringing up that subject again. Castiel knew Gabriel was just kidding around, but still. He really did like Sam in that way but he didn’t want his brother to ruin any of it for him.  
“So, anyway. By the way, you look a lot better in person than you do in my sister’s posters.” Gabriel said.  
“Posters?” Sam asked.  
“Oh god.” Castiel said. He stood up, “We have to show you my sister’s room. You’ll probably break down crying in terror. She shared it with our other sister. I just want you to guess which half of the room is hers.”   
“Oh god...That makes me nervous.” Sam said, standing up next to Cas.  
“First of all, the height difference between you two is hilarious. Second, you should be nervous. It’s just...creepy.” Gabriel said, walking into Rachel’s room.  
Sam looked at Castiel, and raised his eyebrows. Castiel shrugged, as if they were having some kind of mental conversation.   
Sam eventually sighed and followed Gabriel into Rachel’s room. He took one look at it, “Wow. Holy shit. I didn’t even know that many pictures of me even exsisted.” Sam sai, almost like he was terrified for his life.   
“Yeah. She prints picture off online, buys every magazine with you in it....it’s pretty scary.” Gabriel said, “She’s been in love with you since you started. She watched your video on youtube and would not stop talking about you.”  
“Basically the whole family almost hates you because of how obsessed with you she is. I was at first. Until I actually started talking to you.” Castiel said. Sam looked at him, looking pretty hurt.   
“Wow...I’m sorry about that.” Sam said, “I don’t like it when people are obsessed with me like your sister is. I don’t want to sound rude but...some people don’t realize I am literally the farthest thing from perfect.”   
Castiel frowned a bit. He didn’t like it when Sam talked like that. Whenever he did, and they were at his hotel, he’d start smoking. He really did smoke a lot. It made Castiel really upset. He did want to know why Sam felt so horribly about himself. He was such a great guy, and really nice too. He never usually tried to sound mean or like a douche, or anything.   
“We try to tell her that, but she’s 14. She won’t listen.” Gabriel said softly.   
“I mean, she’s probably a great kid, she just needs to tone it down a bit.” Sam sighed. Castiel noticed him fumbling through his pockets, as if he was expecting there to be something in there. Sam sighed, and bit his lip. Then, they heard a car go through the driveway.  
“Shit!” Sam cursed.   
“Shit is right.” Castiel said.   
“I can’t just leave now. They’ll see me.” Sam said.  
Castiel heard the front door opening. He panicked, “Come on.” He grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled him into his room. He pushed Sam into his closet, “Stay here for a couple minutes. I’ll get us out in a second. Would my sister be able to recognize your car?” he asked, whispering.  
“No. I don’t go out with this one.” Sam whispered. Castiel could hear footsteps coming close to his room. “Keep your breathing down.” He slammed the closet door and quickly sat on his bed.  
“Hey, Cassie.” Of course it had to be Rachel.   
Castiel smiled, “Hey. How was your birthday? What did you get?” He asked.   
Rachel grinned, and held out two Sam concert tickets. Of course.   
“Oh, cool.”   
“I’m gonna take Anna this time. They’re pretty crappy seats, but still.” She said.   
“Why? Anna hates him more than I do.”   
“What? You wanna go?”   
“Yeah, I mean, since this concert it’ll be farther so I won’t get crushed.”  
“Really? I mean....you were miserable last time.”   
“Yeah, but” Castiel was trying to think of an excuse.  
“I mean, I guess I can take you. Anna can’t drive yet anyway.” Rachel shrugged. “I’m so excited, though, I wish we could get meet and greets again. I want to be able to have him hold me again, he’s so strong. Maybe he’ll see me from the stage in the crowd and realize.”  
“Stop. Really, Rachel, he’s a human being. He can’t remember ever single person he meets.” Castiel was going to regret some of the things he was about to say, and he hoped Sam knew he didn’t really mean them in the mean way, “He’s a human being. He can’t remember anyone and he can’t treat everyone like they’re special. You’ve have to stop idolizing him.”   
“You’re just jealous.” Rachel frowned.   
“I’m not. I bet he’s a great guy and all, but he’s not a miracle worker who can do everything. You’ll realize it when you’re older. He has millions of other girls who feel the same way as you. Did you even stop to think and realize he’s probably sick of people treating him like this?”   
“Why are you being so mean?”  
“I’m not. It’s probably the truth.”   
“But I’m different. I see potential. He is perfect, you just have your hate goggles on and can’t see it.”  
“He’s not perfect. Imperfections are the things that make people the way they are. Because then those scars from imperfections are filled with people who will care about you, for you. Not because you’re famous, or because you have really great hair, or you have a good singing voice. Maybe if you saw him as more than some object, he might actually not think you’re creepy.” Castiel frowned. He really needed to let that one out.   
“You just don’t get it, Cas. You’ve never been in love, or even liked anyone.” Rachel stood up and walked out. She had no clue.   
Castiel walked back to the closet and opened it. Sam walked out and instantly hugged Cas.   
“Thank you.” He said softly, resting his head on Castiel’s shoulder. “For saying that. No one’s ever said that before.” Castiel could hear that he was tearing up a bit in the closet. He could feel it too.   
Castiel hugged back, wrapping his arms around Sam’s waist, “It’s okay. I really meant it.” His head was pressed up against Sam’s chest, since he was too short to put it anywhere else. The two stayed in that position for a while.   
“Cas...I want to ask you something.” Sam said, still not pulling away.   
“Yeah?”   
Gabriel burst in, and Sam and Cas instantly pulled apart. “Cas, you two gotta....whoa...well then. Anyway, you two gotta leave. Mom just asked me about the car and I told her that you have a friend over. Rachel wanted to know where he was and I told them he was in the bathroom. I can’t stall much longer. You two gotta go out the back.”   
Sam’s face was red. “Alright. I’ll put my hood up just in case...wait fuck, I’m not wearing a hood.” He frowned.   
Castiel sighed, “I’d say for you to go out the window...but you’re too big for it.”  
“Damn it...uh...”  
Sam thought for a while...”Why don’t you go wherever your family is, and distract them so they don’t see?”  
“That’s pretty hard.” Gabriel said.  
Sam let out a deep breath, “My coat is still in the kitchen.”   
“Oh no. Rachel is going to recognize that.” Gabriel said.  
“I know. I’ll go and get your jacket, say that it’s mine, and then while I’m doing that, you run out as fast as you possibly can.” Castiel said.   
“That might work.” Gabriel said. “In the meantime, you can probably wear one of my brother’s hats to hide your hair. He puts them in this drawer.” he moved over to the drawer and got one out.  
Sam put it on, and Castiel went into the kitchen.  
“Whose coat is this?” Michael asked, holding it up.  
“Oh, it’s mine. I got it the other day.” he grabbed it from Michael’s hand.   
“How? This looks expensive.”  
“My friend bought it for me. He’s rich.” Castiel said.  
“Oh? Is he the one with that car outside?” Michael asked.  
Castiel nodded. “Yeah. We’re going to go for coffee. Don’t worry, I’ll be home in time for dinner.” Castiel put the coat on, which was huge on him, and turned around to walk out.   
“Bring this guy in. I want to talk to him.” Lucifer said, walking into the kitchen.   
“No....he’s just a friend...he’s already in his car anyway, wouldn’t want to bother him and make him come out. He has to be somewhere soon so I don’t want to have us rush...so...” He started to walk out.  
“Sometime soon. I want to make sure this guy knows what he’s getting into.”   
“Gabe’s already did that for you.” Castiel said, then walked out the door and rushed into Sam’s car.   
“That was close.” Sam said, pulling out of the driveway.   
“You think? My brother was demanding you to come back in so he could meet you. I made a bullshit response that you had somewhere to go on a tight schedule.” Castiel said.  
“Wow. Good save. My coat looks pretty good on you.” He said.  
“It’s huge on me....and thanks.” Castiel smiled.   
“You’re welcome. So, where to?” Sam asked.  
“Anywhere. I don’t care.” Castiel shrugged.   
“Hmmm. Let’s just go back to my place. We could watch tv or something. And, probably have something to eat, since we didn’t get to eat at all.” Sam said, taking the turn to go to his hotel.   
“You probably have those fancy foods that only super super rich people get, right?” he asked.  
“Sorta. But I’m just in the mood for a salad.” Sam shrugged.   
“Salad? Really?” Castiel raised his eyebrows.   
“Yeah. I like salad”  
“Are you like, are vegetarian or something?” Castiel asked.  
“No. Not at all. I just like salad. It’s good for you, and tastes good.” Sam frowned and pulled into the hotel parking lot.  
The two go out of the car, and went into his hotel room. Castiel instantly laid on the couch.  
“So, what do you want to eat? I have room service, so you can have anything.” Sam sat on the couch next to him.   
Castiel sighed, then shrugged, “I’ll just have a burger. Simple one. I’m not that hungry.”   
“That’s not that good for you.” Sam frowned.   
“I don’t really care. I love to eat them, so I want one.” He said to Sam.  
“God, you sound like my brother.” Sam rolled his eyes and got up. He went over to the phone and picked it up, “Hey. Yeah...I’ll have my usual, and a burger...yeah, bring those up too just in case. Yeah, they’re not for me. Thanks.” he hung the phone up then turned around to look at Castiel.   
“I didn’t know you had a brother. And I would have known, because Rachel claims she knows everything.” Castiel said softly.   
“Yes, I do. I don’t like to talk about it. I won’t, and never will.” Sam sounded almost upset and angry at Castiel now.   
“Sorry. I was just wondering.”   
“Well, now you know I don’t like to talk about it.” Sam sighed. It must really have been something bad, since he seemed to lash out even if it was mentioned. It just kept making Castiel wonder more. It wasn’t as though Sam had any other friends that Castiel knew and could ask.   
Castiel didn’t know what to say. He just sat there for a couple minutes, looking at the floor. He felt really awkward now. He saw Sam walk back into his room. Probably to smoke again. Sam walked out a couple minutes later, with a lit cigarette in his mouth.  
“Shit...I’m sorry.” Sam said softly, jumping up on one of the counters of the kitchen area, and sitting on it.   
“It’s...fine.” Castiel shrugged. Sam continued to smoke, which even though Castiel was used to it by now, it still made him a little worried. The amount that Sam smokes, was not good for his health at all.   
“Anyway, so what are we gonna do once I have to go away for three weeks next Saturday?” Sam asked. Castiel almost forgot about that. It was going to be a long time. But then Sam would be off for a whole month. Then he’d go on his next tour, which Castiel would be going to one of his concerts for. He was probably never going to tell Sam which one though. Maybe he’d make it a surprise for Sam would have to look at each of his concerts for him. If Sam even cared about him by then. That was such a long time away, and Castiel still had no clue how this guy treated other people over long periods of time.   
“Cas?”  
“Sorry. I was just thinking. Yeah, it’s going to be really hard. But I think I can manage. You’ll have your phone right?” Castiel asked.  
Sam let out another puff, “Yeah. I have an awards show to perform at. That will be fun. I just love singing at those” Sam said, probably sarcastically.   
“I’ll probably watch it, though I hate awards shows.”   
Sam chuckled, “God, me too. Especially since it’s not even a music awards show. Well, it’s one of those ones for a bunch of different shit. I’m only nominated for one thing. I don’t need any more awards.”  
“Wow, what a way to brag. What award did you win? Biggest show off.”   
“Definetly. I can just go show them to you. I keep them in a little shelf that I carry around everywhere I go. You’re probably just jealous.” Sam took another puff.  
“Oh yeah. I just wish I had so many awards. How many do you have? Like 2?”  
“Ten, actually. Two Grammys, five teen choice awards, one people’s choice award, and two VMAs. So you can suck it.” Sam chuckled.   
The doorbell rang, and Sam jumped down to open it. The room service guy came in and brought their stuff to the table that they had in there. Castiel got off the couch and sat at the table. Sam put his plate in front of him, and put his salad where he would sit. He put his cigarette in the ashtray, then sat down.   
The roomservice left. Sam and Castiel ate in silence. It felt super awkward for them at the moment. Castiel hated it. He usually liked silence, but not like this. Castiel really felt like he did something wrong.   
Once they finished eating, Sam moved to the couch. Castiel did the same, putting both of their plates in the sink. Sam must never clean up after himself. It didn’t surprise him, he expected that. He was probably on the move all the time, and didn’t bother to clean up his dishes. He had people for that.   
They watched another movie, like they always did. It took all of Castiel’s power not to want to wrap his arms around Sam and cuddle against his chest. It was pathetic, but he really wanted to. He felt like Sam would be such a great cuddler. One of those ones where you never wanted to get up, with those big arms around you.   
Sam turned the TV off, taking a deep breath. He seemed to be getting a headache. Castiel would see it, he had that look a lot over the past week. Castiel wondered if it was his fault, or if Sam just had headaches a lot. The two of them sat in silence again. Sam had his face in his hands, taking in deep breaths. Castiel needed something to talk about. Then he remembered something.   
“Earlier...you said you wanted to ask me something.” He said softly, “What was it?”   
Sam picked his head up. He bit his lip, “So uh...you remember what your brother said earlier?”   
“Which thing? He says a lot of stuff.”   
Sam looked at Cas. “Well, remember when he called you my boyfriend?”   
This was actually about to happen. Castiel could feel his stomach start to flip. He bit his lip, “Yeah...”  
“Well...I was thinking maybe it wasn’t that bad of an idea.”   
“Are you asking me out?”   
“Kind of....yeah. If you don’t swing that way, then I’m sorry. It’s just your brother said-”  
“Yes.” Castiel interrupted quickly, “I mean...yeah....I think it would be cool if you were my boyfriend. I mean, he is right. We basically act like it already anyway.”  
Sam’s face lit up, “Really? I was going to ask you out the first day but I didn’t want to fuck anything up, I mean...I didn’t want to rush it. Though, one week is already kind of rushing it, but when you live a life like mine, it’s kind of hard to take things slowly. So to me, a week is like a year.”  
“I get it.” Castiel said softly, and leaned over to wrap his arms around Sam. Sam hugged him back, and Castiel could almost hear the grin on Sam’s face.  
The two says like that for a while, until Sam laid down and pulled Castiel on top of him.   
“Sam....” Castiel started.  
“Oh shush, that’s not what I’m doing. I don’t feel good and I need to take a nap. I want someone to hold me.” Sam said softly.   
Castiel nodded and felt Sam’s arms around him, and he did the same to Sam. He felt nice as he let his eyes slip shut. He wasn’t tired, but being in Sam’s arms just felt so nice, that he ended up drifting to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He groaned, reaching into his pocket.  
“Hello?” He grumbled.  
“Castiel. Where the hell are you? You said that you would be here by dinner time. It’s 10 in the night. Where the fuck are you? We called you so many times and we have no clue where you are.” He heard his brother, Michael, yell at him.   
Castiel groaned, “This is literally the first time you have called me. I fell asleep, how the shit was I supposed to know what time it is?”  
“Do not talk to me like that. Why were you asleep? I thought you went out for coffee, not go to sleep.”  
“We went back to his hotel room after and-”  
“Castiel!” Michael said angrily. As if he would think Castiel would have sex this early in the relationship. Though, he was pretty sure that Michael didn’t know anything about his relationship. He just knew the fact that Castiel was out with some boy.   
“Listen to me for one second, please.” Castiel said, “I was watching a movie, while he was having a phone call, and then I fell asleep. That’s it. God, Michael.”  
“You just get your ass home, right now. And see how pissed off Mom is at you. You’re not going to like it, Castiel. You are not going to like it one bit,”   
Castiel groaned. He instantly hung up. He hated whenever Michael was like that. Though, he knew that his mother wasn’t going to like the fact that he didn’t come home when he said he would. She would probably ground him from ever going out again, for a long time. He shouldn’t let his mom control him like that, but he was too scared of her to not let her. She was extremely intimidating, and she always made Castiel nervous. Even if he was 18, hell, she even scared his older sister, and she didn’t even live with them anymore. Plus, Naomi was a very strong lady, and she even felt nervous about their mother. Castiel got off of Sam and groaned. Since it was a birthday, Naomi was going to be home, which was going to make his life even worse. He was going to hate having to go home.   
Castiel saw Sam sit up slowly, “What’s going on?” He asked, his hair all messy. It was really...cute. Castiel kind of liked it when Sam’s hair was messy. It looked pretty good on him.  
“It’s 10. I have to go home before my family murders me.”  
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to keep you this late, Cas.” Sam turned around to face Castiel. He ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing it out a little bit. Castiel liked his hair no matter what, though he wished Sam would just get it cut,  
“No, no, it’s fine. I’m pretty sure you really needed that sleep.” Castiel said softly.   
“Yeah. I haven’t slept more than 3 hours in about a year. I always sleep just a bit a night, then drink a shit load of coffee the next morning.” Sam shrugged, and stood up.   
Castiel looked up at him, “That’s not healthy at all. You need so much more sleep than that, Sam. Doing that could end up killing you.”   
“I know that. I try so hard to sleep, but I just can’t if I’m alone. Its weird, I know. I need someone in bed with me in order for me to sleep.”  
“So, you mean you haven’t had sex in over a year?” Castiel just had to ask,  
“Yup. Depressing, right? I could basically have anyone I want, but none of them were...well...good enough for me. Except you of course. Anyone I’ve been on a date with this year, other than you, has treated me like some sort of sex god. That is literally the biggest turn off to me.”  
“So what? Me telling you that you’re not the best thing is a turn on to you. You’re going to get really excited if I call you rude words?” Castiel said sarcastically.  
“It doesn’t work like that.” Sam chuckled, “C’mon, I’ll bring you home before you get murdered.”   
Castiel nodded, “Thanks.” he walked over to Sam and hugged him loosely. Sam hugged him back, and Castiel could feel Sam’s heart beating in his chest. It was calming, and Castiel didn’t want to have to pull back from the hug. He felt so right in Sam’s arms.   
After a couple minutes, Sam pulled away, and he was smiling. “Alright, Cas, let’s go.” He started to walk out, “And, oh, you can keep the jacket if you’d like. It looks nice on you. Plus, I don’t even want it anyway. Looks a shit ton better on you than it does on me.”   
“Thanks. It’s really comfy. It also smells like you.” He put the coat on, feeling it, and smelling it. He just realized that this was probably a little creepy to Sam. He just smiled and then walked out.   
Castiel followed him, and sat in the front seat of his car. Sam started to drive, “So, do you want to go out on a date tomorrow night after you have work? Like, a legit date. I’ll dress up, and you can dress us, and we can go to that restaurant downtown that I saw. Only thing is, is that I’ll have to wear a hat. Plus, I literally never wear anything fancy, so no one will notice or care. Everyone thinks I’m in LA right now anyway. They’ll just think they’re seeing some kind of look alike.”   
Castiel smiled, “I’d love that. If, my mom doesn’t ground me. I have a feeling she is.”  
“So? Just tell her that you have to take extra time for work. It won’t take too long, only like an hour. Trust me, she won’t know.” Sam said, and pulled into Castiel’s driveway.  
Castiel looked at Sam for a couple seconds, then smiled. “Cool. Oh, you don’t mind if I tell my brother that you’re actually my boyfriend now?” He asked, “I just want you to see if it’s okay that I tell him. I’m going to have to talk to someone about you.”  
Sam nodded, “That’s fine. As long as he doesn’t tell anyone else about it, I’m fine with it.”   
“Great. Call me when you’re going to pick me up so that I have enough time to change.” He leaned over and kissed Sam’s cheek, before going outside and back into his house. He was preparing himself to be screamed at.   
He walked inside.   
“About time you showed up.” Rachel mumbled, “What’s up with your jacket? Are you trying to make up to the fact you completely skipped my birthday, by dressing up like Sam? That’s creepy, plus, it’s not going to work at all. I’m not forgiving you for a long time.”  
“Sorry. Jeez. You probably don’t even know when my birthday is.” Castiel said to her.   
“Enough, you two.” His mother said angrily. “Castiel, let me talk to you in your room”   
Castiel nodded, and followed her to go into his room. He sat on his bed, and she sat next to him. “Now. Castiel. I heard what you told your brother.”   
“I was telling the truth! I swear” Castiel said in his defense.   
“I know you were. I’m not yelling at you this time, Cas. I don’t want to ruin your sister birthday any more than you have already.” She said.   
“Oh. Than...why did you bring me into the other room?” Castiel asked  
“Because. I want to know. Is this boy you’ve been seeing...is he your boyfriend?” His mother asked.   
“No, he’s not. He’s straight. We’re just friends.” Castiel lied. He was getting a little better at lying than he was before. He was going to have to get used to lying a lot now. For his sake, and for Sam’s sake. They couldn’t afford to have his om find out. Especially not his mom, because she would make sure that everyone else knew. That’s especially why he had to lie to his mom, though he really did not want to lie to her. It was going to make it so much worse once she eventually found out.   
“Oh. How do you know he’s straight? Did he tell you?” His mom asked.  
Castiel shook his head, “He has a girlfriend that he’s been dating for a while, so no, he’s definitely straight.”   
“How old is he?” She asked.  
“22.” Castiel replied, shrugging.  
“Wow. He’s....a lot older than you.”   
“Not really. Only about 4 years. That really isn’t that much of a difference for friends. It could be worse, he could be like 30.”   
“That’s true. However, I don’t want you to go out any later than 8 with this guy any more. You missed your sister’s birthday, and she’s really upset. Especially since you left her for some guy that you’ve known for a week.” His mother said, a little sternly.  
“Alright. I can still go out tomorrow, right?”  
“Yes. I’m just wondering...how come you said hotel room? Does his girlfriend not want you two to know that you guys hang out?” She asked.  
“Oh, he’s here visiting family. He’s only going to be around until Saturday, so he just sleeps in a motel room.”  
“Why doesn’t he just stay in the family’s house?” She asked. How was Cas supposed to come up with a reply to that?  
“I don’t know. Maybe he just doesn’t like them enough to sleep in the same house as them, I guess. I mean, he hangs out with me more than he does with them.” Castiel shrugged. Hopefully she’ll buy that. Judging by the look on her face, she did.   
“Oh, alright. Well, I’m going back into the living room. We’re watching a movie. It just started, so I suggest you get your ass in there so you don’t upset your sister any more than you’ve already had. Are we clear, young man? And, I don’t want anything like what happened today to happen again.”  
Castiel nodded, “I promise.” he really didn’t want to hang out with his family, but he followed her anyway.   
He watched the movie, then went to bed, though the nap made it so he wasn’t tired anymore.   
The next morning, he woke up to his alarm clock. He got into the shower, jerked himself off like he always did, then did the rest his morning routine.   
He dressed in his normal work clothes, and packed some of his clothes that were actually sort of nice. He put the jacket on over his work clothes, then made his way out. He was both nervous and excited for their date tonight. He decided to walk to work, since he knew that Sam was going to drive him home anyway.   
Work was normal, pretty boring. The people there were interesting, but other than that, it was boring. When he was working on stock, he would listen to music, sometimes it would be Sam’s just so he could actually enjoy the music. It wasn’t as bad as when he was usually forced to listen to it by his sister.   
He got a text from Sam, saying that he was on his way. Castiel changed into his clothes he packed. He also checked his hair and everything, to make sure that he looked good. He didn’t want to look like shit for their first official date. It would make him seem, well, feel, very sloppy. He brushed his hair back, so it didn’t look messy like it usually did.   
Castiel waited outside for Sam’ car to show up. Once it did, he got inside it.  
“Wow....Cas...you look.” Sam started, “Really, well, hot. Not going to lie.” He seemed a little flustered. Castiel smiled, “Thanks, you do too.”  
“Alright. Let’s go.” Sam started to drive. “I made reservations last night, so we just have to go in. I gave the shittiest name, I said I was ‘Jack Jones.’ Seem believable enough right? It seems like the biggest piece of bullshit ever, to me at least.”   
Castiel shrugged, “Seems believable to me. At least it’s better than if you said your own name. They probably wouldn’t have ended up believing you anyway.”   
“That’s true.” Sam chuckled, “They’d think I was just lying to get better reservations. Whatever, I don’t really care. As long as we’re able to get in, and eat, like normal couple would, I’ll be fine. Wow, it’s weird calling us a couple. Not in the bad way, more of I never thought it would ever actually happen. I always thought I’d just be crushing on you forever, and then I’d have to leave. Then, we would never see each other again. I wouldn’t let that happen anyway. I like you way too much to have that happen.” They pulled up to the restaurant, “Are you happy that we’re dating now? I am.”  
Castiel smiled. He felt really flattered by what Sam had just said. He was also surprised that someone would actually care about him that much. “Yeah. I’m happy we’re dating too. I’m a little surprised you even like me that much.”   
“Really? How can someone not like you this much?” Sam said, as the two of them got out of the car. Castiel shrugged, “I’m not a very likeable person, to be honest. I mean, no one even wants to be my friend, let alone like me in a romantic kind of way.”  
“I have a hard time believing that” Sam said, he walked over to the reservation booth, “Reservations for Jack Jones.”  
The lady looked up at Sam, and cocked an eyebrow. “Has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like that singer?”  
“Yeah....I get that a lot.” Sam shrugged. It took everything Castiel had, to not start laughing.   
The lady nodded, then brought the two of them to their table.   
“What can I get you two to drink?” She asked.  
“I’ll just have water.” Castiel said.  
“I’ll have a beer.” Sam ordered. Castiel didn’t take Sam for the drinking type.  
“I’m going to have to ask for some type of Identification for that.” The lady asked.  
“Uh.....shit, I left my drivers license at home...I can just go get it.”  
“You know what? You look old enough anyway. I’m going to trust you on this. I’ll be back in a while.” She walked off to get their drinks. After a couple hours, they finished their date. It was actually pretty nice. Sam ended up paying, since it was way too expensive for Castiel to pay. Sam dropped Castiel off at home. Cas wished that he could have hung out with Sam for longer, but he couldn’t. It was his stupid curfew that he had now.   
“So, I have a busy day tomorrow, so we can’t really hang out. But, next time I’ll be available, is on Thursday. So maybe we can hang out at my place there for a while.” Sam said.   
Castiel nodded, “That’s fine. I’ll see you then.” He leaned over and kissed Sam’s cheek again. He would have gone for the lips, but he didn’t feel like the car was the best place to have a first kiss. Maybe he would just do it another time, before Sam had to go off for his 3 week trip for his tour.   
“Bye, Cas.” Sam said as Castiel went into his house.  
He walked into the living room, “Gabe. I need to talk to you, and only you.”  
Gabriel grinned, and got up to follow him. They sat on Castiel’s bed.  
“So...” Castiel started to say.   
“Let me guess. You and large guy are dating now, right? He told me he was planning on asking you out, so I made it better. You like how I did that? Aren’t I great.”  
“Are you kidding me? Did you really....?” Castiel frowned.  
“Oh yeah. I had that huge plan to bring the boyfriend thing up and see how you reacted” Gabriel grinned to himself, “I knew it would end up working. You’re welcome.”   
Castiel rolled his eyes, “Yeah, thanks.”  
“So, how is he in bed?” Gabriel asked, smirking.  
Castiel frowned, “We haven’t had sex yet.”   
“Of course you have! I mean, you stayed until ten. You have to had been rocking that pop star’s dick.”   
“Gabe!”   
“Sorry. But, I mean, really.” Gabriel looked serious.   
“We haven’t. I’m not kidding. I’m not ready for that yet. We’ve only been together for one day. Jesus Christ, Gabe.”  
“If I were in your shoes, I would have boned him on the first day. Well, if he was a girl. He’s got the hair for a girl, though.”   
“His hair isn’t that long.” Castiel frowned.   
“True. So, when do you plan on breaking his mattress?”  
“I don’t know...not that soon. Maybe some time after he comes back.” Castiel shrugged.   
“Oh...wow....bummer. Bet he has a big dick.”  
“Gabriel! God, stop it!”   
“Never” Gabriel started to laugh, “I’m never going to stop teasing you about this.” he grinned.  
Castiel rolled his eyes, “This is going to be hell.”


	10. Chapter 10

On Thursday, Castiel found himself with Sam at Sam’s hotel room. They had been doing their normal stuff that they did. Eating, watching movies, except that this time, Castiel would be wrapped in Sam’s arms. Castiel liked it better that way anyway. It was better than the two awkwardly sitting there, usually with a bowl of popcorn between them. Castiel liked being in Sam’s arms. They were warm, and he felt like it was the perfect fit. He would rest his head on Sam’s shoulder, his muscular shoulder, and then Sam would rest his head on Castiel’s. Castiel didn’t ever think he’d like to cuddle, but with Sam, he did.   
Once the movie was done, Sam stood up. Castiel groaned softly, not wanting Sam to get up. They were fine the way he was, and he didn’t want Sam to randomly get up. Even if the movie was over, they could still sit there and cuddle. Castiel just loved to cuddle.   
“You have to be home in a half hour.” Sam said to him, looking over at the clock.   
“Yeah? So? We still have a half hour. Get down here, I was comfortable.” Cas said to Sam.  
“I know....but, I’m getting the urge right now, and I know you don’t like it when I smoke near you.” Sam sighed. Castiel did hate it when he smoked. He hated the whole smoking thing in general, it really upset him.   
“Oh.” Castiel said softly, “I do hate it when you do that.”   
Sam sighed again, walking into his room to get his cigarette like he normally did. He smoked all the time around Cas. It really made Castiel wonder. How much did he smoke when Castiel wasn’t around? Was it worse? Or was it just some kind of effect Castiel seemed to have on Sam that gave him the urge to smoke? Castiel really hoped that it wasn’t the second one. He would hate to be the one to give that effect to Sam.   
Castiel really hated how Sam never told him anything. He felt like he knew Sam, but didn't know him at all. Sam was so secretive about his life before his singing career. Castiel knew that Sam hated his past, and that he wanted to forget it. But still, Castiel didn't like the fact that Sam was so secretive about it. If they were going to date, eventually Sam was going to have to tell him. Castiel wouldn't force it, he'd make sure Sam was ready. He didn't want to know everything, just the main cause for all of the smoking. Some people didn't need a cause, but Sam definitely had one. Castiel guessed it had to do with a brother. Whenever he was mentioned, Sam would rush to smoke. It was something that Castiel was really concerned, and interested in finding out what it was about.   
"I'm sorry, Cas." Sam said softly.   
"About what?" Castiel turned his head to the side a bit, confused.   
"Smoking near you. I know I've said it a lot...but I'm really sorry about it. I've tried to quit, but it's hard. It's so fucking addicting, and I hate it. Instead of going to anything else, I go to smoking. I'm surprised the media hasn't found out yet. My reputation would be murdered. A lot of kids look up to me, and I don't want to end up being like Justin Bieber. I know that I am really the worst role model, but, I don't want kids to end up as fucked up as me. I like my public profile to be clean. I'm very sneaky about it." Sam said. Castiel nodded in understanding.   
"If it can get past my sister, it can get past everyone. Seriously. She claims to know everything." Castiel said. Sam took another puff at that. He probably hated whenever Castiel brought her up too. Castiel couldn’t blame him for that one.   
“So, anyway..what can we do to pass the half hour we have left? I can’t really think of much that we can do in only a half hour.” Castiel said, shrugging a bit. Sam shrugged as well, showing that he didn’t really know what to do either. Castiel sighed. He felt really boring, though he knew that Sam didn’t usually have that much time to sit around and do nothing, so maybe it would be nice for him.   
“We can just sit on the couch and cuddle or something? I love to cuddle with you. You have nice, big, strong arms” Castiel told Sam, who replied with a little smile.   
“I guess we can. In a couple minutes though.” Sam said, “I wanna finish this.” He took another hit of it. Castiel sighed, crossing his arms.   
“What?” Sam frowned.  
“It’s nothing.” Castiel looked away from him.   
“Cas. Tell me. You look upset. Is it because I’m smoking instead of cuddling with you?” Sam asked, “Yeah, that’s it isn’t it? I’m sorry about that. I really am. I’ll be done in a second, I just need to calm down a bit. My nerves are really getting to me right now. You don’t understand. ” Sam sighed. He looked like he was thinking really hard about something. Castiel tilted his head a bit.   
“It’s fine. I guess.” Castiel said. But it really wasn’t. Sam was always so different whenever he smoked. Castiel was starting to get sick of it. He really wanted to know now. Screw waiting until Sam was ready.   
Sam walked into his bedroom. Castiel got up and followed him.  
“Cas. I want to be alone right now.” Sam said, turning away from Cas.   
“No.” Castiel walked over to Sam and grabbed the cigarette from his hand, and put it in the ashtray that Sam had next to his bed.   
“Hey! What the hell?” Sam said angrily.   
“Sit down.” Castiel pointed to the bed. Sam looked at him, confused, but did as Castiel said.   
Castiel sat down next to Sam, “Tell me. Tell me why you smoke. I want to know why you always get so angry and aggravated whenever you smoke. I don’t want to hear the whole, ‘You wouldn’t understand.’ crap that you always give me. It happens every time that I come over. I’m not trying to sound like a n asshole. I’m worried about you. This isn’t healthy at all. I don’t want you to get hurt. So. I want you to tell me why. Don’t hold back. Tell me everything.”  
Sam looked at him, shocked. “I already told you that I don’t want to. You’re not going to like me anymore. I can’t lose you from this. It’s only been about two weeks, but I don’t have anyone this close to me and I don’t want to be alone.”   
“Sam. I’m not going to think any different of you. I just want to know. I promise.”  
Sam sighed, “Fine. But. You can’t say anything until I’m done.”   
Castiel nodded.   
“My mother died when I was only 6 months. We had this house fire. It started because, well, I was crying, so my mom went to go check on me. We had a power outage, so we had a bunch of candles out. While she was doing that, she went to check on me, and accidentally knocked one over in my room. It caught the room on fire, and she caught fire and couldn’t put it out. Now, I was young so I couldn’t control myself, but I still feel guilty about that. Well, that’s not the real reason why I smoke. My dad came to save me, and my brother carried me out. Now, my dad didn’t take it too well. Neither did my brother, Dean. My dad became a firefighter. He was so determined to make sure it would never happen to anyone else. He started training my brother and me. We’d always have to go through these stupid courses. I hated every single second of it. But my dad kept telling me, ‘Oh, but don’t you want to stop the thing that killed your mother’ But, personally I always found it stupid. Like, it was as if he was expecting nothing else from us. And he was such a drunk that he really didn’t care what we’d have to say. My brother also practically raised me because my dad would always be out on his job. We moved around a lot too because he was almost always being transferred. My brother was the closest thing to me growing up. I didn’t really care for anyone but him. I loved my brother. He was my best friend, he always helped me, and he was always by my side. Well, most of the time. He was really passionate about working with my dad. He always tried to make Dad proud. He would listen to almost every god damn thing my dad said. No matter how fucked up it would be. My dad was really not the greatest father. He was so fucking horrible. When I was 17, I started to skip the classes my dad taught. I didn’t want any part of it. I was miserable. So I decided that I wanted to become a lawyer. I always wanted to be one. It was this huge dream of mine. I never really talked about it. Until one night, I told my dad. I told him the truth. I didn’t want anything to do with what he wanted with me. I told him I wanted to be a lawyer, and that I already submitted an application to Stamford. All I needed, was an interview. He looked me dead in the eye, and told me ‘I’m disappointed in you. You don’t even give a shit about your family. You only care about your impossible dreams.’ I wanted to cry. I never really liked my dad, but to hear that, it destroyed me. And my brother was right there. And you know what he said? Absolutely nothing. He always stood up for me. But he didn’t then. It was almost like he agreed with him.” Sam sighed. He wiped his eyes. Castiel didn’t even notice him tearing up a bit.   
“And...that’s not the worst part. I went to my interview. I had to sneak out, because...well, my dad would not approve of me going. He told me I would regret it if I went to it. But I was so determined to go. I went home, and it seemed as though I made it safely. I nailed the interview. They really loved me. They told me my grades were perfect, and that I was really fit for the their school. I was so happy. I told my brother. I told him about how happy I was that I’d be going to Stamford for the next four years, and become a lawyer. My brother was usually proud when I made achievements. Though, when I told him this, he just looked at me. He didn’t even say anything. He sighed, shaking his head, and walked out of the room. This was even worse than what had happened before. I was like my brother in the sense that I just wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted Dean to be proud of me. I always felt like I failed him, and just this once I wanted him to be proud of me. But he just simply walked away. I may seem childish, but it was stuff like that, that really just got to me. It seemed like every time he would look at me, he’d just seem angry, and sad. He didn’t look at me like he used to. We started to fight. A lot. Little things I would do, Dean would get pissed at me. I started to get really upset with him too. Every time he was pissed at me, I would start to write. That’s where my first song came from. I made it sound like a break up song. I made it sound like that just in case my brother found it, I would just say my girlfriend was making me angry. He never actually found it.” Sam bit his lip, sucking in a breath. He looked like he was really about to break down. He looked at Cas for a second, then looked down again. He sighed, then continued.  
“Then, I got my acceptance letter. Sadly, I wasn’t the one who got the mail that day. My dad did. He ran over to me, and started screaming. It was so obvious that he was drunk. I don’t even remember what he was saying. It was all a blur to me. I do remember, he told me that if I go, I better not come back. If I was going to go to college and leave them, there would be no use in coming back. I already disappointed them enough. I looked at Dean, to have at least a little bit of reassurance, but I didn’t get anything. He just looked at Dad and nodded in agreement. My heart shattered then. I always failed him. The look on his face, was like I wasn’t even important anymore. I felt like shit. I was kicked out that night. I was kicked out because I just wanted to go to college and not be forced into something I really didn’t want to be in. I lived with my friend for a while. I couldn’t go to Stamford, I had absolutely no money for it. I ended taking a video of me with that stupid song I wrote. I uploaded it to youtube. I didn’t expect it to get popular at all. Dean found out about it. He found me and started talking to me about it. He seemed really ticked off. He also seemed upset, and kept asking me why I felt like that. So I told him, “Fuck off. I honestly don’t care about what you think anymore. You never stood up for me, so why should I tell you anything any more. I’ll just keep letting you down and you’ll be some asshole who’s being brainwashed by his own father’ Then I just ran. I went back to my friend’s house. And that was the last time I ever saw him. I hated myself for saying that to him. I just....I didn’t really mean that. I was angry. I didn’t mean all the shit I said about him. He was still my brother, and I still loved him, even if I was tired of some of the shit he was giving me. I always wanted to talk to him again, but I’m always too afraid to be let down again. After a while, I was given that whole record deal. My friend was pissed off at me, I can’t remember why. After that, I kept living in hotel rooms, going on tours. I started to smoke, because I know my brother used to. I would smoke every time I thought of him, or anything about my childhood. After a while, it became a horrible addiction. I stopped sleeping. Dean would always tuck me in bed, or sleep beside me if I couldn’t sleep. Once I was on my own, I found it so much harder to cope with shit without someone there. I still find it hard to sleep. But....when I’m around you...I feel happy. Because now I have someone to tuck me in bed and to sleep next to me whenever I feel upset. I know you hate it when I smoke, and I try to stop. I really do. I just...need help with it. I know it’s cheesy...but you’re the only thing I really have going for me right now. That’s why...I’m just trying so hard not to break down in front of you because I can’t get the thoughts of my past out of my head.There. I said it. I said it all.” He stopped talking then. He continued to look down.   
Castiel was registering everything that Sam had said in his brain. He was expecting it to be sad, but not like this. “Sam...” He said softly. Sam looked up at Cas.  
“I’m sorry Cas.”  
“You don’t have to be. Not at all, Sam.” Castiel said softly. He looked at Sam for a while.   
Castiel cupped Sam’s cheek with his hand, and pulled Sam’s face closer to him. He kissed Sam, softly, their lips barely touching. Sam gasped softly, then pushed his lips into Cas’s more. Sam put his hands on Cas’s shoulders gently.   
Castiel closed his eyes. He moved his lips slightly, deepening the kiss a little bit. He could hear Sam hum a bit, it was cute. He wanted it to be sweet the first time they kiss, and it really was.   
After a couple minutes, Castiel pulled away. Sam smiled softly, then hugged Cas. “Thank you.” He said softly, stuffing his face in Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel hugged back, “You're welcome, Sam.”   
Sam stayed in Castiel’s arms for a while. Castiel decided to call his mom and ask her if he could sleep over. It took a lot of convincing, but she finally said yes. Sam got a lot of sleep that night.


	11. Chapter 11

A couple days later, Sam had to leave to go back on tour. Castiel knew he was going to start feeling lonely. It had only been a day without Sam and Castiel felt empty. He guessed this is what being in a relationship felt like. He didn’t want to have to go 3 weeks without Sam. That was just terrible for him. He wondered how Sam was feeling. He had to go back to a bunch of people screaming at him. Well, a good kind of screaming. There was probably the horrible kind of screaming for him too. It was very difficult for him.  
Castiel usually just stayed in his room, reading, or listening to music. Of course he started to listen to Sam more often. He would just lay there. Sam’s voice almost felt soothing to him. He loved Sam’s voice so much. Of course, he used to hate it with a passion, but now, it was his favorite thing. He could have some of his songs on repeat for hours, and still not feel bored with him. Sam was just that magical with his words. No wonder his sister loved his music so much, though, he felt like his sister really just liked Sam for his looks.  
Sam was really hot. The longer that Castiel had been dating him, the more he realized just how attractive Sam was. Any guy would date him. Well, any girl or guy. Though Sam wouldn’t date a girl. They already went over the fact, Sam was gay. Sam had a girlfriend once, but he didn’t enjoy it. It was after the two of them broke up that Sam realized he wanted to date guys. He had only been in a couple relationships. He never wanted to have to actually want to be in a relationship while he was still on the road. That is, until he met Castiel. Sam told him that Castiel was the first person in 4 years that he actually wanted to date. Castiel couldn’t tell whether he was lying or not, but it was still flattering.   
Now, Castiel was just sitting in his living room. It was another one of those times where the whole family went out for dinner, and Castiel didn’t feel like going. The family just decided to give up on trying to make him go places with them. Gabriel decided to stay behind too, like they always did. That was usually the only time the two of them could talk about Sam, without the risk of anyone hearing them.   
“So, lover boy left last night, huh?” Gabriel asked, sitting on the couch, with a huge bowl of popcorn in his hand.  
Castiel nodded, “Sadly, yes, he did.” He leaned over to grab a handful of popcorn, and stuff it in his mouth. It still wasn’t as good as the one he ha at Sam’s hotel. That was probably the best popcorn he’d ever had. He still forgot to get some from Sam. He’d have to ask him once he came back from his tour. He still couldn’t wait 3 weeks for Sam to come back.   
“So, did you get a little somethin’ somethin; to remember you by as he left? I’m guessing you did. There’s no way in hell you didn’t” Gabriel said, rubbing his shoulder against Castiel’s and grinning.   
“No...I wanted to...I just never really got the chance to bring it up, really. I’m ready for it. But...I don’t think he is.” Castiel sighed. It was true. He really wanted to have sex with Sam. He felt like he was ready for it. A couple weeks of knowing each other wasn’t too much time, but Castiel still felt ready for it. He never got the chance. He wanted to bring it up, so badly, but Sam always seemed to back away whenever things got heated between them. The farthest they ever got was making out for about 10 minutes. After that, Sam always found a reason for them to stop. It was frustrating Castiel to the extremes.   
“Really? Man…” Gabriel frowned, “Next time you see him, you just gotta go for it. And I mean it, Cassie. You better call him soon. What time is he available to talk next?”   
“Uh…...I think at like 9. He doesn’t have a concert tonight, but he had a couple photoshoots. He has a concert tomorrow. I'll probably just call him later on. Or at least just text him. I don’t really want to risk anyone in our family hearing us. That wouldn’t end very well. I just have to be really careful when I talk to him. He’s written as ‘The Idiot’ in my phone. Just in case someone goes through my phone. They’ll have no clue it’s actually Sam. They’ll just think it’s my ‘friend’, who I still haven’t even given them the name for.” Castiel chuckled a bit, “I just think they’ve all stopped caring about it. They’ve given up because I just keep refusing to tell them anything about him.”   
“That’s a surprise. They’re usually so fuckin’ nosey with you. Guess they’ve really just given up on you. I can see why. You just don’t like to talk to anyone in this family but me, or occasionally Balthazar. You should tell him soon. I know he’ll keep his mouth shut about it. I mean, if I can keep my big mouth shut, then he can. He’s really good with that kind of stuff.” Gabriel shrugged, eating more of his popcorn. They were originally planning on watching a movie, but they’ve kind of given up on that. Apparently talking about Castiel’s love life was more important. Which, it definitely was.   
“Yeah….no. I don’t think I’ll tell him. It’s too much of a risk to tell him. Maybe in a little while, but for now, I just want you to know.” Castiel said softly, “I like it being our little secret.”   
Gabriel chuckled, “That’s funny. That’s cool too, I mean, it makes me feel pretty cool. I have this huge secret that would ruin our lives if anyone else found out. I feel honored for just me to know. I have the whole entire lives of our family in my hands. Like Superman” He looked at his hands, and laughed a bit. Castiel joined in the laughing.   
Two weeks later, Castiel could feel the hole in his stomach getting bigger and bigger. He had been calling Sam, on both skype and on the phone. He liked skyping with him. It was a lot like being face to face, but he still felt so distant to him. He just wanted Sam to hold him again. He wanted to feel Sam. The sexual desire for him grew day by day as well. It was almost as if the hormones were just pumped up because Castiel knew he couldn’t have Sam with him. Masturbating really just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Castiel wanted more.   
Tonight was the night that Sam was on that awards show. He was going to be performing, and he was nominated. Castiel was excited to watch it. His sister, Rachel, was too. Castiel wasn’t showing how excited he was on the outside, but on the inside, he was flipping.   
“I hope Sam wins tonight. I’m so excited to see my baby singing. I mean, I’ve seen him live too. But, you know. National television! Ooh!!!!! Look! He’s on the red carpet, everyone shh.” She stood up to watch the tv screen. Everyone else, which meant Castiel, Gabriel, and Balthazar, just kind of stayed seated.   
“I’m here with Sam Winchester, who just released his new single, ‘Maybe Forever’ can you tell us a little bit about the upcoming music video for it?” The interviewer asked. Sam never told Castiel about a music video.   
“Yeah...Uh, I can’t really share too much yet, but theres no plans for a music video. I’m actually going to start working on a new album once my tour is done. So be excited for that.” Sam smiled a bit. Castiel felt frustrated with what Sam was wearing. He was so used to the hoodies, and he never got used to Sam in a suit. Sam looked really hot in a suit. He was going to remind Sam to wear them more often.   
“That’s awesome! So, how has your love life been?” The interviewer asked. Castiel felt his heart jump a bit. What the hell was Sam going to say to that?   
“Uh..” Sam froze. Castiel could tell Sam had been thinking the same thing as him. “Nothing yet. But, you never know.” He looked at the camera. Castiel could tell by the look on his face, he knew Castiel was watching.  
“Would you ever date a fan? That’s a question that’s always brought up, and we were just dying to know.” The interviewer asked her.   
“Yeah….I think I would. I don’t see why not. They’re all wonderful people.” Sam smiled softly. Then the camera focused on another singer.   
“Did you hear that!” Rachel shouted, “He’d date a fan! That means it’s not impossible!”   
“Rachel, just sit down. You’re gonna wake mom up. Be quiet and just watch the tv.” Castiel said, groaning a bit.   
“Fine, party pooper.” Rachel frowned.   
They watched more of it. Castiel hated awards shows. He had to endure everyone else performing. He didn’t want to watch it. He just wanted to see Sam. Eventually, an hour into it, it was time for Sam’s award he was nominated for to be announced.  
“Okay….so….the winner of the best new single….is” the announcer, whatever actor it was. Castiel really didn’t care which actor it was. He wasn't going to really worry about who it was. “Sam Winchester!” Castiel felt his heart skip a beat when he heard Sam's name being called. He grinned widely.   
Rachel jumped up, “Yes! Yes!” she yelled.  
Cas stood up, excited that Sam won. “That’s awesome.” he said softly, then sat back down. He didn’t want to make it too obvious.  
The screen turned to where Sam was sitting. He grinned, and stood up to go get his award. He took the award from the actor, giving him that awkward hug that always seemed to be shared. “Wow, uh…” Sam smiled, saying into the microphone.   
“This is so awesome! I want to thank my fans, like always. I wouldn’t be here without you guys. I can’t thank you guys enough for all the things you do. You guys help keep the music coming. Hopefully I’ll be able to make more and more to come.” Sam was grinning. He walked off the stage and backstage. Castiel was guessing that he was going to perform soon, so he needed to get ready and such.   
A couple moments later, Castiel’s phone started ringing. He looked at the caller ID. Why the fuck is Sam calling him now?   
“Hold on.” Cas got up and went into his room. He answered the phone.   
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready or something?” He asked, chuckling.   
“Yeah, but I figured I’d call you! I’m so pumped up right now that it isn’t even funny.” Castiel could tell he was excited.  
“Well, congrats. What time are you performing?” he asked.   
“In about a half hour. So we have roughly….ten minutes to talk.” Sam said.  
“My sister is flipping out right now. It was so hard for me not to jump up like she did when you won. But you know, the whole keeping this shit a secret thing.” Castiel sat on his bed, leaning his head against his pillow.  
He heard Sam laugh, “It was hard for me to not jump and stuff when I won. I really wanted to thank you during it, but you know...I couldn’t. So thanks. You helped me a lot too.”   
“How the hell have I helped you win an award? You released that single before you even met me so I really don’t see how I’ve helped.” Castiel replied.  
“Well, you keep me going lately, so you’re a huge help.”   
“Thanks.” Castiel felt his cheeks getting hotter, “And that comment about dating a fan was really cute.”  
“I know. It’s like our little inside joke. Cute, isn't it? Just like you." Sam paused, "Okay, shit, I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow morning. See ya”   
“Aw. Bye, Sam.” Castiel hung up and went back into the living room. The rest of the show was boring, Sam had a great performance though. Castiel enjoyed it, like he always did. He needed to remind himself to have Sam give him a private performance at some point. Once it was over, Castiel laid in his bed. He started stroking himself to the thought of Sam. Since Balthazar was still in the living room, he had the time and privacy to masturbate in his bed. He felt the heat just rush to his cheeks as he thought about everything he wanted to do to him once he got back. Castiel had never had sex before, so it was going to be hectic and interesting, but he was more than ready now. It was as if all the time away from each other, just kept adding to the sexual tension he felt.   
He was just so excited for Sam to finally come back in a week.


	12. Chapter 12

There was only one day left until Sam would come back. Castiel couldn’t be more excited if he tried. He really missed Sam. He had already asked his mom is he could sleep over once he came back, and she agreed. That meant that he would have the whole night of just him and Sam. Castiel was ready for whatever was going to happen. Gabriel suggested before that Castiel should just go for it. If Sam didn’t want to go through with having sex, then he would stop. If Sam did want to go through, then they would. Either way, Castiel was just happy to be able to see him again.   
“So, lover boy. Your boy is coming back tomorrow, right?” Gabriel asked. They were sitting in the kitchen. No one was around anyway. They were all in the living room.  
“Yup.” Castiel nodded.   
“Can’t wait to see how good he is in bed. You need to tell me everything after you’re done” Gabriel smirked  
“Keep your voice down! Tell the whole house about it, why don’t you.” Castiel rolled his eyes, “And I won’t tell you anything. It’s my own person business. You don’t need to know how it goes. He’s not your boyfriend.” Castiel replied sharply.   
“Does Mr. Rockstar know you guys are going to get the job done?” Gabriel asked.  
“No...I’m just going to wing it. That’s what you told me to do. I’m just going to get to it. Kiss him as soon as I come in.” Castiel shrugged.  
“That’s gold. Nice to know you have the balls. That is, if you actually go through with that.”  
“I will. I know I will.” Castiel frowned, “Don’t doubt me on this.”  
“Wow. Look at you, you horny little teenager.”  
“Shut up, Gabriel.” Castiel couldn’t help but look away. “You’re a dick.”  
“Thank you. I take pride in it.” Gabriel grinned pleasantly to himself.   
“I’m going to bed.” Castiel yawned. It was 11, after all, and he had a long day ahead of him tomorrow. Gabriel nodded in response, and Castiel went into his room.  
“Hey Cassie.” Balthazar said as he walked in.  
“Hey Balthazar.” Castiel changed into pajamas and crawled into bed.  
“You’re going to bed so early? It’s a friday. You always stay up until like 2.” Balthazar frowned.  
“Yeah, but I’m just exhausted right now. I really need at least a little more sleep than usual.” Castiel yawned.   
Balthazar stared at him for a couple seconds, then sighed, “Well, I’m not turning the light off.”  
“You’re on your laptop.” Castiel replied, “You don’t need light!”  
Balthazar groaned, “Ugh. Fine. But I hate using my laptop in the dark. You’re going to have to pay me back at some point, Cassie. I’m not in the mood for this.”   
Castiel got up and turned the light off. Then he went back to his bed and laid down. He turned himself so that he was facing away from Balthazar, “You’re so grumpy tonight”   
Balthazar didn’t reply to that. He must have been pissed at someone, or something. Balthazar was never this pissy. He did get angry sometimes, but he was almost never pissed off to Cas. He didn’t want to bring it up any more than he already had. He closed his eyes, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Castiel woke up to the sound of his phone going off. He groaned and answered it, “Hello?” he mumbled.  
“Hey, Cas.” It was Sam.   
“Are you back yet?” He asked, sitting up. He was getting a little excited to hear Sam again. He was so excited for today. He would finally be able to see Sam in person again. It had been three weeks. He just wanted to touch him again, kiss him, feel his arms around him. He just wanted Sam again. Castiel’s face felt hotter just by thinking about all of this.  
“Yeah, actually. I wanted to ask you out for lunch in a couple hours. There’s a tiny diner near your house that we should go to.” Sam replied.   
“That would be awesome. Then afterwards we could go to your hotel room, or to a movie or something.” Castiel hinted at it, but didn’t necessarily say it. He was kind of nervous to just come out and say it.   
“That would be awesome. I was also thinking of going to the movies. But, maybe we can just watch one in my hotel.” Sam said.   
“I’ll see you at 12. Is that good?” Castiel asked.  
“Yeah. 12 is fine. It gives me…..a half hour. That’s enough time to just get ready and...stuff” Sam replied.   
Castiel chuckled, “Sounds great hun. Seems like it’s going to be a really special night. If you...get where I’m going at.”   
Sam paused, “...Sounds perfect. I’ll come pick you up then. I’ll see you. Bye”  
“Bye.” Castiel hung up. He got out of bed and stretched. He picked out clothes to wear. It was just a simple dress shirt and jeans.   
He debated spending time to work on his hair, but ended up keeping it messy like before. He knew Sam loved it like that. He ruffled his hair a little more, then smiled to himself. He looked really good. Sam walked into the kitchen.  
“Someone looks snazzy.” Anna said as Castiel walked in.   
“Yeah.” Castiel smiled, “And it’s none of your business.” he walked over to the coffee machine and poured some into a travel mug. He needed coffee this morning. He usually preferred tea in the morning, but he was really in the mood for coffee. Sam must have been affecting him like that. He chuckled to himself as he added some cream to it.   
“I’m guessing it’s a date.” Balthazar said.   
“Shut up!” Castiel frowned and grabbed Sam’s coat. He put it on, then went outside. There was still 15 minutes until he had to see Sam. He decided to just wait outside for him. He sat at the bottom of the driveway and pulled his legs up to his chest. A while later, he saw Sam’s black car come into the driveway. He grinned and stood up. He ran to the car, and got in.   
Sam instantly cupped his cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. Castiel kissed back, closing his eyes and humming a bit. He wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck, and deepened the kiss. After a couple seconds, Sam slowly pulled away, “Let’s not make out when one of your family members could just stroll outside.” he laughed a bit.  
Castiel nodded, "That would not be good." He chuckled. Sam smiled at him again, "I'm just really happy to see you again. I really missed you hun." He started driving out.   
"I really missed you too. And the only person I could talk to about you is Gabriel. And well, you've met him. You know how he can be." Castiel replied.   
"Yeah. I don't really know him, but I can tell he can be a handful. He probably teases you a lot, right?" Sam asked.   
"A lot. It's a little annoying after a while. But, you know what, it's pretty funny sometimes. I'm glad he's the one who knows. Michael or Lucifer would probably murder me. Don't get me started if Rachel knew. Anna is alright. If I had to tell someone else, it would be her, or Balthazar." Castiel looked out the window, "Balthazar would probably tease me a bit too. Sometimes he likes to team up with Gabriel and tease me beyond belief.”   
“Really? That must suck. My brother teased me sometimes, but not a lot.” Sam frowned a bit, “At least it’s fun teasing, right?”   
“Yeah. I know it’s just for jokes. Sometimes it can get annoying.” Castiel shrugged, “But they’re my brothers, and I love them.” He smiled.  
“Oh, we’re here.” Sam put his hood up, “I hate wearing this thing. Do you think if I wear a beanie, I’d be fine?” He asked Castiel.   
“Yeah. I think you’ve done that before, anyway” Cas nodded, and got out of the car. Sam took his beanie about and put it on.   
“How do I look?” He asked.   
Cas smiled, “You look pretty hot.” Sam smiled back at that, and winked. Castiel could just feel so much sexual urge for Sam when he was like that, but he pushed those feelings behind while they were in public. They could solve that later. After a couple seconds of staring, the two went inside. They sat at a booth, and just talked. They talked to each other for 2 hours, as they ate. It really felt nice to just talk to him, face to face. It was different than a phone call, or a skype call. He felt closer this way. It was nice to just chat with Sam, without having anyone feel upset afterwards. It was just like a normal couple would be like. They were just a normal couple after all. Even if Sam was an international popstar, when it came down to just the two of them, they were normal.   
Once they were done in the diner, Sam drove back to the hotel. The two of them went upstairs into his hotel room. Well, it was more like an apartment.   
“Sam.” Castiel said. He shut the door behind him and locked it. He leaned against the door.  
“Yeah?” Sam asked.  
“Come here.” Cas grinned.   
“Alright.” Sam nodded and walked closer to Cas. Castiel pulled him closer by his collar, and kissed him deeply. He loved the feel of Sam’s lips. They were really just so soft. He could kiss them all day if he wanted to.   
Sam cupped his cheeks, slowly kissing him back. Sam hummed into the kiss, pushing Castiel against the door lightly. Cas replied to that by running his fingers through Sam’s hair, and tugging on it a bit.   
Sam pulled back, “Cas.” he said softly. He ran his hands down Cas’s sides, and held on to his hips. “I’m ready.” he breathed, kissing Cas again. “I’ve been waiting...a long time for this.” He said between kisses, “I need you, Cas.” He slipped off his jacket, and Castiel’s as well.   
“Me too. I’ve been ready for almost a month.” Castiel replied. Sam smirked, and kissed him again. Castiel wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck, and heated up the kiss a little more. Sam pushed Cas’s hips up, lifting him so that he could wrap his legs around Sam’s waist. Sam carried him to his bedroom. Castiel was really impressed that Sam could carry him so easily like that. He could feel his cock pushing against his pants just thinking about it, and it was making him ache.   
Sam pushed Cas against that door, and slipped his tongue inside of his mouth.   
Castiel started to grind his hips against Sam, which earned him a soft moan. “We’re wearing too much.” Sam pulled back from the kiss, and pushed their foreheads together. Cas nodded. He jumped down from Sam, and pushed on his shoulders a bit. Sam walked backward until he fell on to the bed.   
Castiel crawled on top of him, sitting on Sam’s crotch. He started to grind his hips again, gasping a bit at the feeling. He was still a virgin, so all the sensations were so new to him. “Listen, big boy.” Cas let out between hard breaths.   
“Yeah?” Sam asked.  
“Hold on.” Castiel pulled his shirt off, and started working on Sam’s. He stopped bucking his hips, “I know you’re Mr. Hotshot. But, I’m going to be running this tonight.” He got off of Sam, and sat on his legs.   
“Please. I don’t care what you do Cas. I just need to feel you so badly.” Sam breathed while he rested his arms on his face.   
“Good. Because even though you’re bigger than me, and probably have a bigger dick, I’m going to be the one fucking you.” He looked at Sam, “You just look so damn fuckable right now.” He pulled Sam’s pants and boxers down, and moved back so he could pull them all the way off. He threw them away from the bed, and gasped. “You are bigger than me. Oh well.” he looked up at Sam’s face. He chuckled; Sam looked like a total mess. He was really enjoying himself with this.   
Castiel glanced back down to Sam’s dick. He was huge. He was just really lucky that he was going to be the one doing the fucking. He would not be able to handle Sam yet. He was going to need a lot of preparing to be able to take that. Castiel had a smaller cock, and he was sure that Sam had been fucked before.   
“Do something!” Sam pleaded. He looked desperate, and Cas could see Sam’s dick twitching a bit.  
“Be patient.” Cas said softly. He experimentally started to stroke Sam, to see the reaction. Sam gasped at the feeling. Castiel started stroking faster and faster. Then, he eventually leaned down, and kissed the top of his cock. There was no way he’d be able to take all of Sam in his mouth. Not without practice, of course.   
“Baby, suck my cock, please.” Sam breathed.  
“You are just really needy.” Castiel chuckled, and put the head in his mouth. He started sucking on it, swirling his tongue. It felt weird, but he liked it at the same time. He could hear Sam’s loud moans. He felt lucky that his boyfriend was one of the more vocal kind of people. It made him really happy. He started to slowly bob his head, taking in as much of Sam as he could without hurting himself. He really did not know how to do this. He had only watched videos about it, so he tried to mimic what they would do. However, the noises he was hearing from Sam, meant that he wasn’t completely failing. He rubbed Sam’s hips, massaging them a bit. He could feel that Sam really wanted to buck his hips, but Castiel wasn’t ready for that yet.   
Cas pulled up from his cock, and sighed in content. “You have such a nice dick, Sam.” he whispered.   
“I wanna see yours.” Sam sat up, and pulled Cas into another kiss, “And since I know you’re a virgin, I want to ride you. Let you at least get used to the feeling before you actually fuck me. Does that sound good to you?” he asked once he pulled away.   
Castiel nodded, “Yeah. Where do you keep your lube?” he asked.   
“In my suitcase. It’s in the closet.” Sam replied. Castiel nodded, and got up to go get it. On his way, he pulled off his pants and his boxers. He got the lube out of his suitcase. Once he turned around, he saw Sam pushing a finger inside of himself.   
“Holy shit, Sam.” Castiel breathed. Sam looked so hot like this. He saw the smirk on Sam’s face.  
“I don’t really need to do this. I usually do a lot of shit to myself.” Sam moaned softly, “I can afford a lot of sex toys.”   
“That’s amazing.” Castiel laid down on the bed, and started to stroke himself too.   
Sam pulled his finger out, and looked over at Castiel. “Ready? Because I am.” Sam asked. Castiel nodded. “I haven’t actually had sex in like 5 months. Hold on, though..” Sam smiled, and then got a condom out. He opened it, and rolled it on to Cas, “Just to be safe.” Then, Sam poured the lube on to his hand. He started coating Cas’s dick with it. “You’re really beautiful, Cas.” Sam said softly.   
Castiel bit his lip to stifle a moan, “You too. And, I am ready. I’ve been ready.”   
“Good.” Sam sat on Cas’s stomach, then moved himself down. He aligned Cas’s cock with his hole, and slowly sunk down. “Of fuck Cas.” Sam squeezed his eyes shut. Sam groaned slightly, “You’re so good inside of me, Cas. I love your cock already”   
Castiel gasped at the feeling of being inside of Sam. He felt like he should close his eyes, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Sam.   
After a couple seconds, Sam started moving. It started out with just flicks of his hips. It was already feeling amazing. Once Sam pushed himself up, then slammed back down, Castiel let out a louder moan. He couldn’t believe it was actually happening.   
He was absolutely adoring the noises coming from Sam. He was cursing, moaning, and gasping the whole time. He looked like he was in total bliss. The way that Sam was moving, could make anyone go off the edge.   
Castiel gripped his hips, and tried thrusting into Sam. “Oh, shit!” Sam called out, “Right there, Cas! Fuck!” he yelled as he gripped Cas’s shoulders. Castiel took that as something Sam enjoyed, so he continued. He thrusted up as hard as he could. He felt so much pleasure that he could barely even think about anything else, “Oh,god Sam! I’m getting close.”  
“Me too.” Sam replied. Castiel had to squeeze his eyes shut, then came. He continued to thrust, until he heard Sam scream out his name. He felt Sam’s cum on his stomach, and breathed heavily.   
“That was amazing.” Sam breathed. He pulled off of Cas, and took the condom off of him. Sam threw it in the garbage. “You’re lucky I’m not going to a concert any time soon. I won’t be able to walk straight.”   
Castiel chuckled at that.   
“Oh. I left a mess on your chest. Let me clean it up” Sam smiled. He got back on Cas’s lap, and licked up his own cum from off of Cas.  
“It tastes disgusting, but I love to do that” Sam chuckled as he swallowed. After that, he collapsed next to Cas.   
“What time is it?” Castiel asked.  
“Like….7” Sam replied.  
“Let’s just watch a movie, since you have a tv in here.” Castiel smiled.  
“Sounds perfect.” Sam kissed him softly, then leaned over to grab the remote and turn the tv on. Both of them fell asleep in each others arms during the middle of the movie.


	13. Chapter 13

Castiel woke up the next morning with a slight headache. He yawned, and looked over to see Sam next to him. He smiled a bit. He felt content right now, it was everything he wanted it to be. He burst out laughing when he realized that the both of them were still naked.   
“Good morning, beautiful.” Sam opened his eyes, letting out a small yawn, “You wanna go out for breakfast later?”   
“Aren’t you in pain?” Cas asked, running his fingers through his hair.   
“Well, yeah. But I’ve faked it so many times by now. Plus, I can take some aspirin to numb the pain a little bit.” Sam shrugged. He leaned towards Cas and kissed him gently. Cas kissed back, wrapping Sam's hair in his fingers.   
Sam pulled back after a moment, "Maybe I can call in room service instead." He whispered, "We can stay here." He kissed Cas again, "And continue what we were doing last night." Sam ran a hand down Cas's back, letting out a long hum.   
Cas rolled over so he was on top of Sam, "I'd like that a lot." He kissed Sam's neck, "I'd like to properly fuck you this time. "  
Sam looked up at Cas, "You always had a wonderful way with words." He continued to run his hand down Cas's back. Cas smirked, and leaned down to kiss him again. He deepened the kiss, then started to roll his hips down against Sam's. Sam replied with a soft moan. He eased his fingers down to Castiel’s ass and gently squeezed it. Castiel pulled back from the kiss and sat on Sam’s lap. He suddenly got a great idea.   
Cas glanced at Sam and started running his fingers up and down Sam's sides, tickling him. He bit his lip hoping it would work. Sam squirmed a bit.   
"Hey!" Sam let out, trying to move away. He started laughing.   
"You’re ticklish!" Cas shouted happily. He grabbed Sam’s shoulder with one hand and continued to tickle him.  
Sam continued to laugh, trying to get out of Cas’s reach, but failed.  
Castiel giggled and continued tickling him, moving his hand down farther. Cas paused for a moment to kiss Sam quickly then resumed.  
"S-stop!" Sam let out between laughs.   
"Nope!" Cas grinned kissing his face. After a couple more minutes he stopped and leaned back still laughing.   
Sam continued laughed, "I'm gonna get you back one of these times. That was a really mean thing to do out of no where." Sam sat up to kiss Cas again. He made sure Cas didn’t fall back by wrapping his arms around his waist.  
Cas laughed softly into the kiss. "That was hilarious." Cas smiled. He held onto Sam's head as he went in for a slow kiss. Sam kissed back, closing his eyes. He ran his fingers through Cas's hair.   
“So, is this still going to end the way we’re thinking?” Castiel asked quietly once they pulled back again.  
"Maybe." Sam whispered, "If you want it to." He smiled.   
“I’m still going to be on top, right? And you don’t mind if I don’t make it so sweet like it was last night?” Castiel raised an eyebrow.  
"Hell yeah." Sam nodded, "Fuck me."   
Cas smirked and pulled Sam into a bruising kiss. "Get on your stomach then."  
Sam grinned and gently put Cas down next to him. Sam turned on his stomach, and wrapped his arms around the pillow, "Do it hard. Haven't had a good pounding in a very long time."  
"Okay," Cas tried to sound confident. He grabbed the lube from the nightstand and smeared some on his fingers. He traced a finger over Sam's hole before pushing one in, he started slowly pumping it. Sam started bucking himself into Cas's finger, letting out tiny moans. Castiel could tell he needed more.   
Cas put a hand on Sam's hip, and pushed a second finger in. He started pumping them both, and after a few moments pushed a third in.  
"God you look so beautiful." Cas said kissing the base of Sam's spine.   
"Ahhh, fuck." Sam cursed, he looked back to Cas. "I need you in me. I need more." He closed his eyes and stuffed his face in the pillow again.  
"Shhh, don't worry. You'll get it in just a second." Cas whispered kissing his way up Sam's back. He pulled his fingers out and whistled a little. "You have such a beautiful hole Sam, I'm so glad I get to shove my cock in you." He really wondered where that one came from. He never knew he could really use dirty talk, but he liked it. Castiel got up and got a condom and the lube. He he opened the condom and rolled it on to himself. Cas lubed up his dick and pushed in at a teasingly slow pace moaning at Sam's heat.  
Sam moaned, squeezing his eyes, "Ah, fuck. Fuck me." He clenched around Cas's cock.   
Cas gasped as Sam tightened around him. "Shit," He said under his breath and started fucking Sam at a rapid pace.  
Sam almost screamed as Cas started pounding into his prostate. "Fuck! Keep going! So fucking good!" His head started hitting into the headboard, but he didn't care. He was in bliss.  
"God Sam you feel so perfect!" Cas moaned, "Love how loud you are!" He kept going fast. He loved listening to all the curses spill out of Sam's mouth. Sam continued moaning, "I should have told you I was loud." he started bucking his hips back along with Cas.   
"I want you to cum first." Cas murmured and reached his hand under Sam to start stroking Sam's dick. "Mmm love how hard you are for this."  
That pushed Sam off the edge. "Shit!" He called out as he came.   
Cas came shortly after, still thrusting through his orgasm. He gently pulled out and laid next to Sam, rubbing small circles into his back.  
"Was that good?" Cas asked, panting a little. "It was great for me."  
"That was fucking amazing." Sam said softly. He kissed Cas's forehead.   
Cas's face split into a grin, "Perfect." Cas sighed contently, "What a great way to start the day and it's only ten to nine."  
Sam chuckled, “Yeah. We should get dressed and then order room service. I’m starving.” He rolled over and slowly sat up. He winced a bit.   
“I’ll get you some aspirin and get you the phone.” Castiel got up and did just that. He handed Sam the aspirin and water. Once he swallowed it, he handed Sam the phone.   
“Hey, room service. Yeah, I’d like two of my normal breakfast. Thanks.” Sam smiled. He looked at Cas, “Don’t get pissed at me for this, but can you go wait in the living room for the food, I need a smoke after all that.”   
Castiel sighed. He should have been expecting that. He got dressed and walked into the living room, letting Sam do his thing. He took out his phone. He received a text from Gabriel saying he had to be home at 9:30. Castiel groaned. He didn’t want to have to go home that early. It was another ten minutes before the doorbell rang. Castiel got up, “Sam! They’re here.”  
“Alright.” He heard Sam call back, “Can you get it?”  
“I guess.” Cas replied. He opened the door, and smiled. The woman pushed the cart in and placed everything on the table. Sam ate a lot for his normal breakfast. It was an omelette, 2 pieces of toast, an apple, a cup of coffee, and orange juice. The woman left without saying anything.   
“I’m not bringing it over there to you. Come on, Sam.” Castiel sighed.   
“I know, hold on.” Sam walked in a couple minutes later, fully clothed. Castiel could smell the smoke already. He sorted through all the food, and sat down in front of his.   
Sam sat down at the table and took a sip of his coffee.  
“I have to be home in a half hour.” Cas said as he took a bite of his omelette.   
“Really? That sucks” Sam frowned, “I have to start working on my next album anyway. I usually come up with lyrics and music to show to the producers. They usually reject them, but it doesn’t hurt to try.” He started to eat.  
“That’s horrible.” Cas replied. They ate the rest in silence.   
“It’s 9:20. I should drive you home.” Sam looked at the clock. Castiel nodded in response, and the two went down to Sam’s car. They didn’t talk on the ride home either. Everything always became awkward once Sam started to smoke again.   
“See ya. Call me when you want to hang out again.” Sam smiled.   
“Same to you.” Castiel leaned in to kiss his cheek, then got out. Sam drove away, and Castiel walked into the house. It was weird how there weren’t any cars in the driveway.   
“Hey bro.” Gabriel smirked.   
“Hey.” Cas yawned and smiled, “Where’s everyone?”   
“Anna and Rachel are at a friend’s house. Mike and Luci are at Naomi’s for a while. Mom and Dad are with them. Balthazar’s sleeping in his room.” Gabriel replied, “Sit down. I wanna hear all about it.”  
“Is that why you wanted me home so early?” Cas asked, sitting down, “You wanted me to tell you before Balthazar woke up?”   
“Exactly.” Gabriel laughed, “You’re a smart one.”  
“Well I’m not an idiot.” He rolled his eyes.   
“I’m surprised you’re walking.” Gabriel rested his chin on his palms, “Seeing as you’re dating Monster Dick.”  
“You never stop coming up with nicknames for him, do you?”   
“Not really, no.”   
“I wasn’t the one on the bottom.” Castiel shrugged, “That’s why I can still walk.”  
“Really?” Gabriel’s eyes widened, “I wasn’t expecting that. Good job.”   
“Thanks? And can we really not talk about my sex life. It’s weird talking about it with my brother.”   
“Who else would you talk about it with? You don’t exactly have any friends.” Gabriel laughed.  
“That’s not true!” Castiel said defensively.  
“Really? Name one.” Gabriel teased.  
“Name one what?” Balthazar walked into the room. He had his blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Castiel guessed he just woke up.  
“Cassie doesn’t really have any friends.” Gabriel turned to Baltazar.  
“Yeah. Other than us and that new friend he has, he really doesn’t have any. He’s a loner.” Balthazar smiled.  
“You guys are assholes.” Castiel stood up. He didn’t feel like having to hear his brothers shit on him anymore. They were always like this to him.   
“Aw come on. Don’t be that way.” Gabriel said to him.   
“Guys. I just got a text from Rachel. Apparently Sam just added someone to tour along side of him next. She’s acting all upset because she wanted it to just be Sam.” Balthazar started.Castiel didn’t know Sam was going to have someone with him during the concert. He wasn’t upset with it, he just wondered why Sam didn’t tell him.   
“I can’t believe this girl. I mean, she’s old enough to get out of this phase. I don’t get why she’s so obsessed with him.” Balthazar continued. Gabriel looked at Cas and raised his eyebrows. Balthazar sighed, “I mean, there’s nothing really special about him. He’s just some punk who can sing. He’s not even that attractive.” Castiel was starting to get ticked off.  
“Plus, he seems like a total douchebag, who’s a little obsessed with himself. He’s probably in love with himself, and that’s why he isn’t dating anyone. Why doesn’t he just... stop.”  
“Why don’t you just shut up?” Castiel said defensively.   
“Why should you care? You hate him too.” Balthazar shrugged.   
“Like hell I hate him!”   
“Hey, hey guys let’s all calm down.” Gabriel seemed concerned about it. He looked at Cas and frowned. Castiel almost forgot that he wasn’t supposed to let anyone know about his relationship.   
“What? You got some crush on him? Are you becoming obsessed too? I thought you were better than that, Cassie.” Balthazar sighed dramatically, “I bet he has a small dick anyway.”  
“Excuse me?” Castiel raised his eyebrows.  
“You heard me.” Balthazar folded his arms.   
“You’re an ass.” Castiel frowned, “Hold on. I need to make a phone call.” He got up and went into his room. He dialed Sam’s number.  
“Hey,Cas.” Sam said.  
“Can I please tell my other brother Balthazar? He’s really pissing me off about you and I need to tell him.” Castiel replied quickly.  
“Yeah...I guess; as long as you trust him”   
“Good. Can you come over for a bit so I can prove it?” Castiel asked.  
“Of course, yeah.”  
“I’ll see you then, bye.” Castiel hung up then went back into the kitchen.  
“Are you done crying?” Balthazar smirked, “Did I strike a nerve or something? I’m sorry.”   
“First of all, Sam does not have a small dick. It’s actually huge. Probably double the size of yours. Second, he is not a self obsessed douche. He’s actually a really great guy. Yeah, he’s pretty messed up. He isn’t the best person in the world. That doesn’t make him any less of a person than you are. You shouldn’t just judge someone before you get to know them. I was like that, and I realized how amazing Sam is.” Castiel sat back down.  
Balthazar looked at him for a couple moments, “God. You’re even worse than Rachel. You don’t need to get so defensive.”   
Gabriel laughed, “Oh yeah, he is. Cassie is just great at hiding it.” He smirked.   
“You’re really funny, Gabriel.” Castiel rolled his eyes.   
“Anyway, how can you possibly know how big his dick is? Did you like...blow him at the meet and greet? That would have been funny.” Balthazar asked and laughed.  
“Not at the meet and greet. But yeah.” Castiel replied.  
“What?” Balthazar cocked an eyebrow, “You’re kidding.”  
“Nope. I’m being serious. He’s actually on his way here now.” Castiel grinned.   
“Really?” Gabriel smiled, “Maybe he’ll tell me how it went last night. Since you neglect to tell my anything.” The doorbell rang once he said that. Gabriel shot up, “I’ll get it!” he raced to the door and opened it, “Hey! It’s lion-hair!”   
“Hi Gabriel.” Sam walked in, looking pretty confused by the nickname. His faced seemed to light up when he saw Cas, “Hey.”   
“Hi. Balthazar, this is Sam.” Castiel stood up and walked over to Sam.  
“You have to be shitting me.” Balthazar breathed.


	14. Chapter 14

"Wow." Sam replied to Balthazar, who still looked like he saw a ghost. Castiel really couldn’t blame him. He would be a little psy.   
Gabriel laughed, "What, Balthy. You think Cas isn't good enough to get that hot piece of ass."   
"Gabriel!" Castiel yelled, and hit Gabriel’s arm, “Don’t call him that!”  
“Oh come on. It’s true, Cas. He’s out of your league.” He laughed. Castiel shook his head and sighed.  
“To be honest, I’m a little flattered by that.” Sam chuckled, “Nice to know someone thinks I’m attractive.”  
“You know I find you incredibly attractive.” Castiel glared at him, “Gabriel is just trying to be an asshole.”  
“No. I mean it. Wow. I would go gay for this boy.” Gabriel smirked, “Sadly, I’m taken, and you’re taken. It’s just not meant to be, big boy.” he laughed again.   
“Please shut up before I punch you in the face.” Castiel grunted.   
“How did this even happen?” Balthazar asked, “You realize Rachel is going to be pissed at you. Like I mean, she’s going to hate you for this.”   
"I know." Castiel looked at his hands. He did feel bad for Rachel, he really did. However, he knew that he liked Sam too much to let him go just for his sister’s feelings. It wasn’t like she was actually in love with him. She didn’t even know anything about him. Castiel was tired of thinking about it all the time, but it really stuck in his mind. The one person his sister really liked, just had to be his boyfriend. It was actually a little funny and ironic.  
"She'll get over it." Sam said, "I feel like she'll be happy just having me around. I know I would if I were her." He smiled.   
Balthazar nodded, "How did you guys even get together?" He asked, "I didn't get answered when I asked earlier."   
"It's a long story." Sam smiled, "We met during a meet and greet. I liked him from the moment I saw him."  
Balthazar furrowed his eyebrows, "So like that Romeo and Juliet, love at first sight crap?" He asked. Gabriel laughed at that. Castiel couldn't believe that Balthazar said that. Castiel found it a little insulting. He wanted to get angry and talk back to Balthazar, but looked at Sam to see what his reaction was.  
"Of course." Sam said with a sarcastic tone, "It's a sad traumatic story. They met at a meet and greet. However, their parents couldn’t let them be together. So they met in secret and decided to get married 5 minutes after meeting each other. People are appalled. World War Three starts. Sam Winchester loses his car, and Castiel Novak trips over a rock. Tragic."   
Castiel laughed, "That's exactly how it's been going."  
"I like this kid" Balthazar said, "He's not bad. However, I must say one thing. If you break my dear brother, Cassie's heart..." He started.   
"We're going to break that apparently huge dick of yours." Gabriel smirked. Sam looked over at Castiel. He shrugged in return. Sometimes Castiel really hated what came out of his brothers mouth. He had almost no filter when it came to crude and sexual commentary. He would have preferred it if Gabe had said face. Even though he would still be uncomfortable with that because he didn’t want anyone to hurt Sam, even if he did break his heart. Castiel knew Sam wasn’t that kind of guy, though. If he had wanted to purposely break Castiel’s heart, he would have done it already.   
It was quiet in the room for a couple minutes. Everyone just felt awkward, as if there wasn’t really anything else anyone could say. Castiel especially hated these moments because he felt so out of place and weird. He’d rather they go back to talking about sex than having some long awkward silence. “Anyway, how did the sex go last night?” Gabriel asked, “Did Cassie cry?” Castiel sighed to himself. He should have wished for a different topic.  
Sam shook his head, “No. I cried a bit. It was just...so beautiful. The sheer beauty of it all just made my soul explode.” He laughed a little bit.   
Castiel rolled his eyes, “I’m going to go into my room for a little bit.” He looked at Sam, “Let’s go. Unless you’d rather talk to my brothers.” he smiled and started to moved over to his room.  
“Ew, guys. Don’t fuck in our bedroom. I sleep there too and we can hear from here.” Balthazar squeezed his eyes shut to remove the image from his brain.   
“Oh come on.” Castiel replied, “Like I’d be stupid enough to have sex while you guys are around. Sam’s pretty loud and I don’t want you guys to be disturbed.” He said, “I didn’t mean to say that, it just kind of came out, sorry.” He couldn’t believe he said that. He knew to never let his brothers know any explicit details about anything. They always use it against him. They did that for when he said Sam had a big dick. It was like it was Sam’s new nickname. Sometimes Castiel was just so fed up with his older brothers. At least it wasn’t his other older brothers. They would have kicked him out if he said anything about his sexual life. No one was really allowed to talk about their sex life around them or around their mother. That’s why Gabriel and Balthazar teased him when they were alone. They got in trouble if they were caught. Sometimes they let it slip, especially when it was teasing to Castiel.   
Castiel was the one person in the family that everyone pushed around. He was so used to it that he didn’t complain often. He was always the push over. As he grew up, he defended himself more, but it usually got him into trouble. That was one thing he liked about being with Sam. Castiel felt like he was the one in control. Even if it wasn’t actually true, he liked having the confidence around Sam that he never had with his family. It was his favorite thing about being in a relationship. He felt happier when he was with Sam than he had felt in years.   
After they registered what Castiel had said, Balthazar and Gabriel both started laughing loudly. Castiel could feel his face heating up a bit and moved into his room. Sam followed behind him, chuckling a little bit.   
Castiel sat on his bed and looked up at Sam. He sat next to Cas and looked over at him.  
“You were serious about the no sex thing, right?” He asked.  
“Of course I was. I’d love to have sex with you, but I don’t want to go through the embarrassment of my brothers hearing us." He replied.   
"I have an idea. I really have to go in like...an hour. But, I want to try something." Sam got up and moved to lock the door, "I've realized. You've never been blown before. A lot of people say I have a magical mouth. Do you want to test that?" He smirked. Sam sat down again and pulled Cas on to his lap.   
"I might be loud, though." Castiel reminded him, “It’s my first time, and I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it quietly.   
"You can muffle it with your pillow." Sam smiled, and leaned in to kiss him. Castiel kissed back, and wrapped his arms around Sam's neck. Sam deepened the kiss and cupped Cas’s cheek. Castiel completely relaxed against Sam. He did start to feel excited, thinking about Sam’s lips around his dick. He hummed softly into the kiss. After a couple minutes of kissing, Sam pulled back, “Lay down, and I’ll take care of you. Even if you’re not hard yet.” He smiled.   
Castiel nodded. He laid down, and put his arms behind his head. He took in heavy breaths, and looked over at Sam.   
“Just stay calm, and I’ll show you how I do this.” he unbuckled Cas’s pants. He slowly pulled them down, “Wow. You’re already a little hard already.” Sam started to rub Cas through his boxers slowly. Castiel moaned loudly and covered his mouth. He needed Sam to get on with it, since he could feeling himself getting even harder now. He felt Sam palming him harder.   
“Keep going.” Castiel breathed, “You better get going.”  
“Don’t rush me.” Sam smirked. He pulled Cas’s boxers down at a teasingly slow pace. Sam started to stroke his cock. Once he started to stroke him, Castiel was in bliss. He already started to feel amazing. It probably was because it was his first time getting stroked by someone else. Sam seemed to be an expert at his. He knew exactly where to focus on, and where to squeeze. He leaned his head back. He moved his hands and threaded his fingers into Sam's hair. "Sam please," he pleaded. "Need more."  
Sam chuckled. He moved his hand away. Then he almost instantly leaned down and put his mouth on his dick. He bobbed his head a little, and then pulled up to lick the head. He swirled his tongue around it, sending shivers throughout Castiel’s body. "Fuck Sam, your mouth." Cas huffed. He squirmed and resisted the urge to buck into Sam's mouth.   
“I haven’t even really started yet.” He smirked, “Just you wait.” He took as much of Cas as he could, and bobbed his head more. He started to rub Cas’s thighs and hummed around Cas’s cock.  
“Sam…” Castiel moaned, “You’re so fucking good at this.” Sam just hummed in reply. Castiel could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm already. Sam had only been blowing him for about a minute, but he still got that feeling in his stomach. Sam continued to rub his thigh in encouragement.   
“Sam, I feel close.” He groaned, pulling on Cam’s hair more. He gently bucked his hips up into Sam’s mouth. He made sure not to do it hard, because he didn’t want Sam to choke. It seemed as though Sam was doing just fine anyway.   
“Do you have a gag reflex?” Castiel asked him.   
Sam pulled up and shook his head, “Why do you think I like blowing people so much?” He smirked, “It doesn’t hurt me, so I let them do what they want. Though, it usually hurts my jaw. I also hate it when my teeth get in the way. It can kind of hurt. So watch out for that.” Sam nodded. He stroked Cas a little more, before sucking him off again.   
Castiel started to buck his hips into Sam’s mouth again. He let out loud breaths, “Sam….” he moaned. He closed his eyes, and thrusted his hips again. He groaned loudly and came into Sam’s mouth.   
Sam pulled up from Cas’s cock. He spit the cum into the garbage next to the bed, “I’m not swallowing it until we test you.” Sam said, “I know I’m the first person you’ve ever had sex with and all. I just want to be safe and make sure you’re safe with this too. I don’t want to risk anything.” He smiled.  
“That’s fine with me. It probably tastes terrible, right?” Castiel asked.  
“Oh yeah. Probably the grossest thing I have to taste.” he nodded, “But usually when you’re in the zone, you don’t really seem to care. When you have a dick in your mouth, sometimes you have to swallow.” Sam smiled. Castiel sat up and pulled his boxers back on.   
Sam leaned over and deeply kissed him again. He placed his hand on Cas’s cheek and softly ran his thumb across the skin. Castiel closed his eyes again, savoring the moment that they were sharing. He wanted to kiss Sam forever. He wished that they could kiss all day, make every second count. He never knew he could feel this way about someone. He always thought that relationships were stupid. Now that he was with Sam, Castiel realized how wrong he was. Being in a relationship felt so wonderful.   
Sam pulled back, “I need to go. I have to get working on my songs. I can’t work on them here, because once I do, I can’t stop.” he pecked Castiel again, “Call me. I know you have work tomorrow, but maybe I’ll come visit you or something.” he smiled.   
“Of course.” Castiel replied, “I’ll see you then. Let me walk you out.” They both got up, and walked over to the door. Castiel led Sam outside, trying to avoid his brothers. Sam gave him a goodbye kiss, then left.   
Castiel ran back inside, and into his room. He plopped on his bed and grinned. He felt so happy.


	15. Chapter 15

A month had passed since Castiel told Balthazar. Sam had really enjoyed himself. It had been so long, possibly since forever, that he had actually been in a relationship. It was kind of new for him, but he loved it. He loved every second that he was around Castiel. He loved their touches, their conversations, and the way that Cas wasn’t afraid to talk back. It was hard to find things that he hated about dating Cas. It was probably the fact that they had to keep it so secret. It was a real let down. Sam just wanted to scream his feelings for Cas. But he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to risk Castiel’s safety. It was true that he would start getting hate for it. Hell, his own sister would probably hate him for a while. It was best for them to just keep it a secret for as long as they could. Maybe when they were deeper into the relationship, he could come out.   
Sam never really expected anything out of giving Castiel his number. Cas was the first person he tried. He thought it would just be a hook up, then they would part ways. However, when they first hung out, Sam knew he didn’t want that. He knew he wanted to try a relationship. He didn’t care if it would end in heartbreak. It’s the time that they’re together that makes the heartbreak worth it. Sam didn’t want it to end in heartbreak. He wanted to just keep going on with it.   
The past month, Sam had been writing a lot. Whenever he wasn’t with Cas, he was writing his new album. It wasn’t going to be as hard as it used to be to get what his record company to approve of his songs. His old songs that he would write were pretty depressing. They didn’t want that, they wanted him to be seen as a happy-go-lucky guy. It pissed him off, but it gave him money, so he did what he had to do. Even if that meant his reputation would lead him to having millions of teenage girls obsessing over him. He loved his fans, but sometimes he wanted more than just the same kind of person.   
Sam was working on his last song of his album. Most of his songs were about Cas. He wasn’t surprised. Castiel had been his inspiration lately. There was so much he had to say about him. He had more to sing about than just one simple album. There were only 10 on the album, and Sam was only allowed to write 5. He was fine with that, though. At least they allowed him to do something..   
The first song was about how they met. Sam talked about how it was basically love at first sight. He never really had luck with people beforehand, and even added a couple of stupid examples. He was unlucky, until he met Cas. Castiel was like that one person who he looked at and just knew that all he could do was smile and feel warm inside. In that song, he also talked about how sarcastic and shy Castiel was around him at first. He loved that song a lot. It was the first song he had ever written about Cas.   
The second song was about how much he missed Castiel whenever they were away from each other. He particularly liked that one. It was the one he was going to use as his first single. He talked about how much he loved Cas’s touch, and how much he really missed it whenever they were separated. Every time they had sex, it felt like the first again. He sounded like a teenager whenever he talked about Castiel in that way. He knew how hard it was to basically have a long distance relationship. Since Sam was on break, they could visit each other a lot. However, once he went back on tour, they’d barely be able to see each other.   
The third one wasn’t specifically about Cas. He wrote about his smoking habits, sort of. It could be seen as a metaphor. He wrote about how Castiel was more of an addiction than smoking would have been. He didn’t say that he smoked explicitly. It would ruin a lot about his reputation. He just made it seem like a metaphor to add more meaning to it. That song would probably end up seeming like a humorous one, so they would let it through. The only actual bad thing was that Sam added ‘fuck’ in there a couple times. He was an adult, he could add swears if he wanted to.  
The next song was basically talking about how cute he thought Cas was. He needed to let his feelings about that into a song. He loved how beautiful and adorable Castiel could be. He talked about all of Cas’s quirks that made him...well...love him. He directly says he loves him in the song, and he can’t take how much he loves him. Sam knew he was in love with Castiel. The two hadn’t admitted it to each other yet. Sam knew he had to tell Castiel before the album came out. Castiel would instantly figure it out. He didn’t want that to be the way that he found out. It just wouldn’t be special enough.  
He still didn’t know what he wanted to do for his last song. He still had a week to write his songs, and he wanted to make this one count. He wanted to spend time with Castiel before he wrote any more. Maybe he would get inspiration from him. He wasn’t going to do that now, though. Castiel had work, and Sam didn’t want to bother him. He hadn’t actually seen Cas in a couple of days. Both of them had been busy. It wasn’t a bad thing. They couldn’t spend every waking moment with each other, even though Sam wanted to. Thinking about missing Castiel wasn’t going to help. He already wrote one about that. Writing was a lot harder than he thought. He had too many ideas, and none were perfect enough to put into his next song.  
Sam sighed to himself and laid on the couch. He stuffed his face into the pillow and grunted. “I hate this.” he muffled. He lightly kicked his legs against the other end of the couch. He turned around and laid on his back. He moved so that he could lean his head against the side of the couch. He felt so uneasy. His nerves were getting the best of him. What was he so nervous about? No one was around. There was nothing to fear when he was alone.   
He sat up and got off of the couch. He ran into his room and opened the drawer. He took out his pack and lit a cigarette. He let out a puff and sighed. Sam closed his eyes and bit his lip. He hated having these random bursts like this. They happened a lot lately. It was probably because Sam had been trying to cut his smoking short. Castiel hated it, and he didn’t want to risk losing him because of it. Quitting was a lot harder than he was anticipating. Sam didn’t want to quit. He smoked behind Cas’s back whenever he wasn’t around.   
It was a terrible thing to do, but Sam had not other choice. It was too overwhelming to stop. It wasn’t safe for his health to continue, but it didn’t feel safe mentally to stop. It must have been because the addiction had gotten so bad that it came to this. He enjoyed smoking. It was one of the things that no one had to know about. He didn’t want anyone to know about it. That was the same with Cas. Both were too risky. Cas and cigarettes could get him into deep shit with the public. Castiel, not so much. These days, people weren’t as homophobic as they used to be. Sam had always been afraid of all the slurs and the hate crimes. He didn’t want any of it to happen to him.  
He took another hit just thinking about all of that kind of stuff. He was having enough stress with the song, he didn’t need to think of that anymore. He laid back on the couch and continued with the cigarette. It was another couple minutes of thinking before it was finished. He threw the butt away and sat on the counter. He debated having another one, but eventually voted against it. He knew Castiel would be pissed if he found out that Sam smoked more than one.   
Another hour had passed of wasting time sitting around, doing nothing. He heard his phone starting to ring, “No.” he whispered to himself. He didn’t need this. He checked the caller ID to make sure. His prediction was correct, it was Dean.   
Dean had been calling a lot over the past month. Somehow, he got Sam’s number, and was almost desperate to contact with him. Sam was still way to nervous to even think about answering. What would he say? What kind of apology could he possibly think of in the seconds he had to think? He didn’t even want to risk hearing what Dean had to say. Once the phone stopped ringing, Sam let himself relax. It was only the first call of the day. There were usually three or four in a day. It got a little creepy.   
Suddenly, Sam heard the tone for voicemail go off. That was new. Dean never left a voicemail. It was usually just a call, a break, then another call. Sam instantly took the phone and hit play.   
“Hey, Sam. Listen...I know it’s been a while. A really long time, actually. Um...I know this is going to sound really selfish...but I miss you. I miss you a lot, Sam. I was a dick before, and I know how you’re probably too busy to even think about seeing me, but I want to try. I want to be in your life again. It’s been haunting me that we just shut each other out.” There was a pause, and then a soft sigh from the other end, “Just call me back. Please. I know I have the right number.” then he Dean hung up.   
Sam wasn’t ready for that. He was ready to hear his brother be pissed, but he wasn’t expecting that. He called back.  
“Sam?” Dean almost instantly picked up.  
“Yeah. Sorry I never answered your calls.” Sam took a deep breath.  
“It’s fine. It’s great to hear your voice again.”   
“Yeah. You too.” Sam smiled.  
“I still can’t believe how famous you got. It’s fucking crazy.” Dean laughed.  
“I know.”   
“Listen...where are you? A lot of your fansites don’t know where you are. It’s weird.”   
“Oh…” That was a really good thing, “Rhode Island.”  
“Really? Why are you there?” Dean asked.  
“Personal reasons. Why? Do you want to visit?” Sam asked.  
“That would be awesome.”   
“I can pay for your plane and everything. Just give me a call when you want to come.” Sam felt really happy now. His brother didn’t hate him like Sam thought he would.   
“Oh. Yeah. That sounds good. I have vacation from work in August. What’s the date?” He asked.  
“July 28th.” Sam replied.   
“Alright. Cool. How about August 10th? Sound good?” Dean hummed.  
“Perfect. I’ll make sure I’m not doing anything. I do go back on tour in September, if that means anything.”   
“I’ll only be up for a week.” Sam could tell that Dean was probably smiling, “Oh. And I’ll bring my son too.”  
“You have a son?” Sam’s eyes widened.  
“Yeah. He’s only 9 months right now. His mother’s in jail so Dad and I took him in. You’d like him. Anyway, I have to go. I’ll see you later.”   
“Cool. Bye Dean.”  
“See you, Sam.” Dean hung up. Sam fell back on to the couch and wanted to scream in excitement. His brother didn’t hate him. It was so wonderful.  
He called Cas.  
“Sam, you know I’m at work.” He grumbled.  
“Yeah, I know, this is important. My brother is coming in August! We need to celebrate the fact that he doesn’t hate me!” Sam said quickly, “We should go to a party.”  
“Party? I’ve never been to one. Not interested. Doesn’t sound like a celebration. However, I’m happy you got to talk to your brother.” Castiel mumbled.  
“How have you not been to a legit party? It’s so much fun. And I’ll have my hat and it’ll be dark so no one will know it’s me. I saw an ad for one the other day. It’s tomorrow night. Please? I don’t want to go alone and I need to let the excitement out.” Sam grinned.  
“Fine. Whatever you want. I’m not going to interact with anyone though.”   
“Great! I’m taking you to a party tomorrow! I’ll pick you up tonight though so we can hang out without anyone around.” He smirked.  
“Perfect. I gotta go, I have work. Bye.” Then Castiel hung up.  
Sam was in complete bliss.


	16. Chapter 16

Castiel was busy getting ready for this party that Sam was forcing him to go to. He couldn’t figure out what was good enough. He eventually ended up going in Gabriel’s room.   
“Hey little bro. What’s up?” Gabriel closed his laptop.  
“Hey. I need help.” Cas moved over and sat on his bed.  
“With what? Your party?” Gabriel smirked.  
“How do you know that?” Castiel frowned.  
“There’s no way I couldn’t. Plus, what makes you think I don’t have your boyfriend’s number? I have to keep check with him and you.” Gabriel stood up, “You need help with an outfit?” He asked.   
“Yeah. I don’t know what to wear. I know you go to parties a lot, so you’d be great with that.” Castiel bit his lip.  
“Let’s go, buddy boy.” Gabriel strolled to Castiel’s room. Once Castiel got back in there, he already had a couple things out.  
“What time are you going to the party?” Gabriel asked.   
“In like two hours, why?” He asked.  
“We’re going shopping. I’ll pay.” Gabriel smiled, “None of your clothes are really party material. You dress like a stereotypical prude.”   
“I wear t-shirts and jeans.” Castiel frowned as Gabriel ushered him outside.   
“Yeah, and you have so many striped shirts that you could hand one out to each person in town and still have some left over.” Gabriel rolled his eyes got into his car. Castiel followed and buckled himself in.   
“So. You planning on riding some dick tonight?” Gabriel asked.   
“Gabe! No!” Castiel yelled to him. Castiel still hasn’t bottomed yet. He was terrified to. Sam was fine with it as well, so he didn’t need to worry. It wasn’t like it would change anything if he didn’t.  
“Really? You can’t go to a party like this without getting some.” Gabriel frowned.  
“It’s not that, Gabe. Leave me alone about that kind of stuff.” He rolled his eyes.  
“Fine.” Gabriel continued driving until they got to the store. Once they were there, the two of them got out.   
“Holy shit, Gabriel. Isn’t this place really expensive?” He asked.   
“Yeah, but it’s worth it to impress your rich ass boyfriend.” Gabriel smirked, “I told you I’m paying, so don’t worry about it. Think of this as your birthday gift.”  
“My birthday isn’t even until September.” He frowned.  
“So? Just shut up and enjoy it.” Gabriel smiled as they walked into the store, “Ahh, you can just smell the teen angst and sweat in here, am I right?”   
“No.” Castiel shook his head, “What are we going to be looking for in here?”   
“Skinny jeans. I know you hate them, Cas, but you have the kind of ass that would look perfect in them.” He nodded.  
“Wow, thanks Gabriel.” He rolled his eyes and looked around. He found a pair of black ones, “How about these?” he held them up for Gabriel.  
Gabriel smirked, “Perfect. Those would be perfect. I decided to still go with your style, here.” he got a striped sweater and held it up, “These are cool for you. It’ll be tight on you, which will be perfect. As for shoes, you’ll need good sneakers. I don’t want to see you in cheap $2 sneakers anymore.”   
“Fine.” He sighed. Eventually, they picked out dark red sneakers for Cas. So he had black jeans, a black, white, and gray sweater, and then the red sneakers. Castiel tried them all on, and felt really good about it. He looked hot, and he knew Sam was going to love it. They paid and then headed back to the house.  
“So how long until pretty boy picks you up?” He asked.  
“An hour.” Castiel checked the time and went into his room. Gabriel followed.  
“Alright. Change, and then we’re gonna do your hair and makeup.” Gabriel turned around so Cas could change.  
“Make up?” He frowned, getting dressed and then sitting on his bed again.   
“Of course.” Gabriel walked over and sat next to him. To be honest, Castiel was nervous for tonight. He didn’t want anything going wrong with the party. He knew that some could go really bad, and he didn’t want that to happen to them.   
Gabriel got out some eyeliner and carefully applied it to Castiel’s eyes. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. He really looked good. Castiel felt good with how he looked for the first time in a while. It’s not like Castiel hated how he looked, he was just never fully content with it. He knew he looked amazing, and that Sam would really appreciate it.   
“Alright, kid. You look good.” he took gel from the bathroom, “To be safe.” He gelled Cas’s hair, until it looked perfect, “Now, you look sexy.”   
“Gee, thanks.” He touched his hair, “It feels weird now. I don’t like having anything in my hair.”  
“Too bad. It’s there. Deal with it. Now, go wait outside for your guy.” Gabriel smirked.  
“He’s not going to be here for another 40 minutes.” Castiel tilted his head, “I’m not going to sit outside for 40 minutes and do nothing.”  
“I may have called your boyfriend out to take you guys to dinner before you go. Oops.” Gabriel smiled.  
“What? Dressed with gelled hair and eyeliner? At a restaurant?” he groaned, “I’m going to look like a fucking nut job.”   
“You’ll deal. Now, go.” Once Gabriel said that, Castiel went outside and braced himself for the public embarrassment. Sam was already in the driveway, so Cas went over and got into his car. Sam looked at him in surprise. He looked so starstruck. He started the car.   
“Words cannot describe how amazing you look tonight. The eyeliner is a really nice touch. Wow.” He seemed to fumble with his words, “You should dress like this more often. Though, I think you would….look good dressed in anything.”  
“Even a garbage bag? I don’t think anyone would be able to pull that off.” Castiel looked at Sam and raised his eyebrows.  
“Yup. You definitely could. I mean it, you can make anything look good.”   
“Really? Do I honestly look that good?” Castiel smiled, “Thank you. You’re ridiculous..”  
“No problem. We’re going to have to settle this the old fashion way. At some point, I’m making you wear one and I’m going to prove that you look hot in it. Oh, and I decided to skip out on dinner, if it’s okay with you. There’s going to be plenty to eat there. I was just thinking we should spend a little alone time together before anything gets too crazy at the party.” Sam started to drive.  
“Yeah. That sounds better than going in public like this. I’d look so annoying to them.” He smiled, “Maybe we can park somewhere and make out. Or just talk? Maybe we can talk about you seeing your brother again.”  
Sam nodded, “I know just the place. We can do both.”   
“Perfect. How do you know perfect make out spots? I’m the one who’s lived here for most of my life.” Castiel frowned.  
“Your brother teaches me a lot. Well, he does it over text anyway.” Sam shrugged, “If I have a question, he answers it and helps me out. Your brother may be a pain in the ass, but he really looks out for you, you know. He loves you a lot.” He smiled, “You really should give him more credit. The amount of times that I’ve gotten threats that have something to do with my crotch is amazing.”  
Castiel rolled his eyes, “He does that to everyone, you’re not so special when it comes to that.”   
“So I’m not too special after all?” Sam jokingly pouted.   
“Not at all. You’re so unspecial, that you have millions of people praising you. It shouldn’t matter whether my brother thinks you're special or not.” Castiel looked at him.  
The two of them were silent for the rest of the ride. Castiel didn’t know why. He hoped he didn’t hurt Sam’s feelings by saying that. He didn’t mean it in the fact he wasn’t special. He looked over at Sam again, getting closer, “I meant that in the fact there are a lot of people who love you and stuff. That makes you special, doesn’t it?” He said softly as Sam parked into a part of the woods that was cleared up a bit. Sam got out and took a blanket out. He laid it on the floor and then laid down on it. Castiel joined him and took his hand, “I didn’t mean it like that.”  
“That doesn’t matter.” Sam shook his head, “I don’t care whether I have millions of fans or whether everyone hates me. I just care about you and how your family sees me as. One of them probably hates me, and the other is too obsessed with me to care. Then, the rest don’t even know about us. It’s been bothering me. I really want them to know who I am to you. It’s too risky. I’m too nervous about you getting caught up in all my drama. It’s so difficult. I want to scream to the world, that I’m in love with you. But I can’t”   
“Wait, what?” Castiel looked him in the eye, “Did you just say that you’re in love with me?”  
“Yeah. I love you.” Sam smiled, “I love you, Castiel. I feel like I have since I first spoke to you. They say the first 7 seconds tells whether you’re into the person or not. Let me tell you this, it only took me a second to know that I was into you. I wasn’t interested in your sister at all. I was interested in you. I love you, and I want to love you for longer. I hope we never break up, because you’re the guy who I can spend the rest of my life with. Of course it’s still too early for that, so I’m not saying anything about marriage yet. Hell, it’s probably still too early for I love you, but I don’t care. I love you.”   
Castiel was speechless, “I love you too. It took me a little longer than you to realize that, but I do. I hated you for a long time. I realize now that I don’t hate you at all. How could I? You’re one of the sweetest guys that I know. I love you because you’re one of the only people who’s there for me, even if you’re not physically here. You actually listen to me, unlike most of my family.” Castiel leaned in and kissed him. Sam kissed back eagerly and hummed.   
After a moment, Sam pulled back, “I hope this party will be fun. Do you think it will?” he asked, “For a fair warning, you’ll have to drive us home tonight. I usually drink a lot at these things, and I get a little weird. That’s how I’m usually really out going at concerts. I drink a lot before I start them. Otherwise, I’d be really nervous and freaked out.”  
“That’s fine. Just don’t drink too much. Don’t get sick.” Castiel nodded, “I wouldn’t want you to get sick, alright?”   
“I know. It doesn’t feel so good, so I wouldn’t want that to happen anyway.” Sam nodded, “Don’t drink though. I mean for you. I don’t think you’ve ever really done it before, and I want to be just us the first time you drink and all. I don’t trust it at parties for someone’s first time.”  
“I didn’t plan on it anyway. Alcohol tastes gross to me.” Castiel nodded, “Will you stay with me for most of the time? I get freaked out at things with a lot of people around me.”  
“Of course I will. I’ll make sure to wear my hat so no one notices me. It’ll probably be dark, so no one will even try to notice me. We’ll be safe, and I’ll make sure you’re safe.” He cupped Cas’s cheek, “I really like it here.”   
“Me too. We should go here a lot to get some peace and quiet.” Castiel smiled.  
“Yup. No one can hear us if we ever have sex out her either.” Sam smirked. He kissed him again. Castiel cupped Sam’s cheeks, deepening the kiss a bit. Sam grabbed onto Cas's shirt and smiled into the kiss. Sam hummed a little bit, letting one hand to drop to Cas's arm. Cas leaned into the kiss more. His other hand rested on Sam's waist. Sam slowly leaned them down so Cas was on his back. He pulled back and smiled down at Cas. Cas stared up at Sam and smiled at him. He grabbed Sam's hand and intertwined their fingers. Sam leaned down to gently kiss him again. Cas put his other hand behind Sam's neck and deepened the kiss. Sam pulled back to take his shirt off. Cas pulled his shirt off too and laid back.  
Sam ran his hand down Cas's chest. He pressed soft kisses against it. Cas gasped softly and laid his arms flat above his head. Sam continued to kiss his chest. He started palming Cas. Cas whimpered and canted up against Sam's hand.   
"You want to actually do it soon?" He asked.   
Cas nodded. "Your hand is getting me very excited." Cas murmured.  
Castiel took that as a yes. . He pulled down Cas's pants.   
Cas kicked his pants off. "How do you want me?" He asked.  
"Like this. On your back. I know it’s your favorite." Cas said softly. He pulled down his boxers and smiled, “Actually...I want to be on bottom this time. I actually think I’m ready, as long as we’re careful, and theres a lot of lube involved.  
Sam gave a small nod and pushed his own boxers down, “I’ll be easy on you. I have lube in my pocket.” Sam grinned and started to stroke Cas. He moved them so Castiel was under him, and he sat inbetween his legs.   
Cas let out a soft moan. "Oh god Sam," he gasped.   
Sam continued to stroke him. "You're so beautiful."  
"I love you so much." Cas said softly, bucking into Sam's hand. Sam continued to stroke him, then put Cas in his mouth. Cas was becoming a mess beneath Sam. He gave Sam's hair a small pull. Sam bobbed his head, feeling his cock hit the back of his throat. Castiel moaned, he was in bliss right now. He loved Sam’s mouth. Castiel felt himself feeling closer once Sam started to rub his legs.   
"Sam," Cas moaned. "Don't wanna cum yet. Wanna come with you." He pleaded.  
Sam pulled back. He pulled off his pants and boxers. He got the lube out. He put some on his fingers, and pushed one in. Castiel gasped loudly, and clenched around Sam in pain. It didn’t hurt too badly yet, but he wasn’t used to the feeling. Sam started to slowly pump the finger, watching Cas’s reactions so he wouldn’t hurt him.  
“I’m ready for another one, Sam.” Castiel breathed. Sam nodded and pushed another one in. After a couple minutes of Sam prepping Castiel, he pulled his fingers back. Cas whimpered softly then moaned. "Sam, I'm ready, please." He panted.  
“Are you sure?” he asked quietly.  
“Please, Sam. I want this.” He nodded. Sam pulled his fingers out. He lube up his cock. He looked at Cas, asking for permission.   
Cas stared back at him and gave a small nod. "I love you," he smiled.   
“I love you too.” Sam aligned himself, and slowly pushed in.   
Castiel moaned loudly, and wrapped his legs around Sam’s waist, “Fuck, it hurts Sam. Keep going though, shit. Let me get used to this for a second before moving.” He took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes closed, “Okay. Move.”  
Sam nodded and started thrusting at a slow, easy pace. Castiel grabbed Sam’s hand, and tightly squeezed it.  
“You’re doing so well, Cas. It’ll feel good soon.” Sam soothed, “I promise.”   
Castiel moaned, “It feels good already. Hurts a lot, but still feels good. Go a little faster.”   
Sam picked up the pace, moaning softly, “You’re so tight, god.” he pulled Cas’s hand up to his and kissed the knuckles gently. He looked down at Castiel, “You’re so beautiful.”   
“You’re so amazing to me.” Castiel breathed, opening his eyes slowly to look at Sam. He tilted his head back and moaned loudly, “That felt so good, oh my god!”   
“That’s your sweet spot.” Sam kept angling himself there. He knew not to go too hard for fast. He wanted to be gentle with Cas, and he felt the same amount of pleasure as he would if he was going harder. It was the effect Castiel was having on him.   
“Sam, fuck! I’m already getting close to coming.” Castiel called out, “You’re so good at this.”  
Sam went a little harder, hitting his spot every time, “I love you, I’m close too.”  
“I love you too.” After a couple more thrusts, Castiel came onto his chest. Sam pulled out before he could cum, so he could climax on Cas’s chest too. He forgot the condom, so he made sure he was safe. He let Castiel lay there as he wiped him up with a tissue he had in his pocket.  
“That was amazing.” Castiel breathed, “I’m going to be in pain all night.”  
“I have this cream in my car that’ll help with the pain.” Sam got up to get it, then rubbed it on Cas’s hole, “And here’s the headache medication.” He smiled.   
“You’re so good at taking care of me.” Castiel pulled him down for another kiss.  
“We can be a little late to the party tonight. I just want to lay with you for a while.” He laid next to Cas and smiled.


	17. Chapter 17

“Okay. Are you sure this is going to work?” Castiel said softly, looking at the fake ID.   
“It should. It used to work for me. I didn’t realize it was a 21 and over party.” Sam smiled, “I had one already saved for you anyway.” Sam grinned.   
“Really?” Castiel rolled his eyes, “I’m not surprised.”  
“Hey, I don’t normally party or drink. I just wanted to make sure that you had one, just in case.” Sam frowned as they turned into the place where the party was going to be.   
“It looks crowded.” Cas frowned, “Are you sure of this?”  
“Yeah.” Sam got out and waited for Cas to follow, “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Trust me.”   
“Okay okay, fine. If we end up getting killed, I’ll blame you.” Castiel frowned. They walked inside, and Castiel could feel his head pounding. It was so loud, he could feel the whole floor vibrating. He wasn’t sure if it was supposed to do that. Castiel was far from nervous by now; he just wanted to go home. However, he promised Sam that he would come with them. Hopefully they’d only stay for a couple hours, then go back to Sam’s apartment. He told his mother that he wouldn’t be home tonight, so at least she’d know that.   
Sam showed his ID to the bouncer, who raised their eyebrow. They studied Sam’s face for a second, and huffed, “Welcome, Mr. Winchester. Surprised you’re here. The host will be thrilled.”   
“Please don’t let anyone know I’m here. I’m just trying to keep a low profile and go to a party.” He said softly.  
“Oh. Well, I have to keep track of whoever is here. You’ll be safe, she won’t tell anyone.” He told Sam confidently.   
Sam sighed, “I guess that’s fine.”   
“Great. You can go in.” The bouncer looked at Castiel, “Card please.”  
Castiel nodded a little nervously, then showed it to him. The man looked at the card, then at Castiel, “Alright, go ahead.” Castiel sighed in relief and then walked in with Sam. He looked around and saw how crazy it was. Everyone looked gross and drunk, not really caring what people saw them doing. There was one girl who was casually sitting there without a shirt on. It made Castiel a little uncomfortable. He never usually went to parties, so all of this was just new to Castiel. He squeezed Sam’s hand for comfort, letting out some of the stress he was feeling from suddenly being around so many people. 

Sam took him to an area without too many people, and the two sat down on the floor. Castiel looked up at Sam, a little confused. Sam kissed his forehead, “I know you’re nervous. Listen to me, I won’t leave your side.” he said softly.  
Castiel sighed, “I know. I’m just not used to be around a lot of people.”   
“You went to my concert.” Sam reminded him.   
“That’s different.” Castiel said, “Plus, I was nervous as fuck there too.”  
“Oh. Well, this time, I’ll be with you. I won’t leave your side. I promise.” Sam took his hands, “And if I trail off, pull me right back to you, okay?”  
Castiel nodded slowly, “I’ll take your word on it. I love you.”   
“I love you too.” Sam smiled and they both stood up, “Let’s go back, alright? Hopefully no one will recognize me because of how dark it is in here. I’d be screwed if people did see me.”   
“Let’s just...not do anything drastic, or talk to too many people.” Castiel said.  
Sam nodded, “I’m going to go get a drink, come on.” He took Castiel’s hand and guided him over to where all the drinks were. He got a cup that was full of beer, and started to drink, “I wish you could drink too.”  
“Yeah, but I honestly don’t want to. I have to drive, for one, and another, I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself at all.” Castiel admitted, “Plus, it tastes gross.” he added.  
Sam nodded, “You get used to the taste. I drink two shots before a concert to get myself going.”  
“Really?” Castiel was surprised.   
“Yeah. How else can I be so outgoing for a concert?” Sam shrugged, “Though the rush of it is fun, alcohol usually makes me really excited if I drink the right kind. But enough of me talking about this, let’s go dance.” he pulled Cas to the middle of the crowd.   
Castiel paused, “Wait wait, Sam.” He wrapped his arms around him and clutched to him. Sam held him close, “You’ll be fine.” he whispered.  
“We’re around other people. What if they recognize you?” Castiel asked.  
“They won’t, trust me. No one here really cares about who’s around them. It’s a party. No one pays attention to everyone.” he chuckled, “Plus, I have my hat on.”  
“Yes, but your hat only covers the top of your head. Not your face, or most of your hair.” Castiel frowned.  
“Just trust me on this, Cas. We’ll be fine.” Sam leaned down and kissed his forehead, “Now dance with me. Just follow what I do.”  
Castiel nodded and started to move along with Sam as he moved with the music. Castiel started to get used to the feeling of dancing. It was something he never really knew. He liked it. He liked how close he was to Sam, and basically pressed against the other people. However, he didn’t focus on the other people. As long as he kept his eyes on Sam, and forgot that anyone else existed, he was fine. The only downside was Sam’s beer that he had in his hand, which seemed to dare to spill every other minute. This outfit was new, and Castiel didn’t want Sam’s beer to ruin it.   
After what felt like 4 hours of dancing, and repeatedly having to move away from the crowd for Sam to get another beer, Castiel had enough. Sam was drinking way too much. At least, it was what Castiel thought. He never really encountered alcohol. His parents didn’t drink, and the only people who ever came home drunk was Gabriel. From what he saw from his brother, he knew that getting too drunk really wouldn’t end very well for either of them.   
“Hey, Sam. I think you should calm down with the drinking.” Castiel pulled Sam close to him, “I don’t want you to end up getting hurt or something. It wouldn’t end well. I’m just worried about you.”  
“It’s okay, Cas. I’m used to drinking a lot. I’ll be fine. I’ve only had like...4 beers.” Sam shook his head.  
“You’ve had 6, Sam.” Castiel frowned, “You can’t have any more.”  
“Fine, fine.” Sam sighed, “Do you want to go back and dance? Or go around and see anything else?”   
“Let’s see if there’s anything else to do. Plus, I need to pee.” Castiel replied to him. Sam took his hand and lead him around. Even as they were walking, Castiel could definitely tell that Sam was very tipsy.  
“Hey, look.” Sam pointed over to a crowd around a karaoke machine, “We should go do that.” he looked back at Cas and smiled. Castiel literally could not believe that Sam would even suggest that, whether he was drunk or not.   
Castiel stared at him for a moment, giving him a dirty look “Yes. Let’s go do that. Let the whole place hear your angelic voice. There’s no way that no one would know who you are,” He said sarcastically, “No, seriously. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say. Sam, you’re a famous singer. People would recognize you almost instantly.”   
“You’re no fun. You just want to take all the fun away from me.” Sam pouted.   
Castiel just rolled his eyes in response. He found the bathroom and sighed, “Do you have to go?” he asked Sam. He felt like he was babysitting a child.  
Sam shook his head, “Not yet. But soon. I think. I don’t know how bladders really work.”  
Castiel rolled his eyes, “Alright. Well just...stay here. And god forbid you do anything stupid, Sam. You’re wasted, just don’t move until I get out.” He leaned over and kissed Sam before going into the bathroom. He looked around, and almost felt like he was going to puke. It was absolutely disgusting. He thought the bathrooms at the concert area were bad, this was just nasty. He could smell...everything in there. He just eventually just gave up on complaining to himself about how dirty it was, and relieved himself. He washed his hands then headed back out.   
He heard screaming from a couple of girls. He felt his head stop. Sam wasn’t in the spot that he told him to go to. He looked over to where Sam was begging to go, and of course, he was there. Sam had somehow found one of his own songs on the karaoke machine, and decided to do a concert for everyone there. Of course, he seemed to be having the time of his life like most of the concerts that he performed. There were plenty of people who had suddenly took out their phones, recording Sam singing in the front. Castiel cursed loudly. He couldn’t just go up and stop Sam because people would see him and know that something was up. He bit his lip and honestly didn’t know what he was going to do.   
“Sam!” He yelled loudly. He felt so angry at this point, there was nothing else he could do. However, Sam didn’t hear him, since there were plenty of other people who were yelling his name as well. Castiel wanted to march up there and tell him off, but he couldn’t, since there were people recording. He would be attacked by his fans.   
Once Sam finished his song, he smiled, “Wow. I didn’t know people could crowd that fast. A lot less than I’m used to, but it’s nice to see you all.” He looked around the room and spotted Cas. Once he saw him, he smiled even wider, “I have another song that I brought my own music for.” he put the mic down and plugged in his ipod, “I wrote this for someone. I’ll give you guys a sneak peek at it.” he didn’t take his eyes off of Castiel. Sam was too drunk to tell how pissed off Castiel was.   
He turned the music on, and then started to sing. Castiel paid attention to the lyrics. He knew it was written about him, so he couldn’t help but grin during it. It was about how much he always missed him while he was at concerts or out doing other things. Castiel felt special during it, knowing that Sam finally got one of his own written songs accepted into it.   
However, once it was over, no matter how cute he thought it was, he was still pissed off at his boyfriend. Sam, with a lot of trouble, made it back to Cas safely. There were people crowding around them, asking for Sam to sign something, or for pictures. He smiled, “Hey, hey, calm down guys. I’ll be in town for months.” he looked back at them, then to Castiel.   
Castiel looked at him and rolled his eyes, “Find your own way home tonight, Sam. I’ll be at the hotel.” he told him and went outside. He waited in his car for another two hours, before seeing Sam run over to him.   
“I thought you said you were going to be at the hotel.” He said to Cas, yawning.   
“I wasn’t actually going to leave you here.” Castiel frowned, “I don’t want you getting hurt. What you did was so stupid, Sam. Now they know where you are.” He started to drive back to the hotel, hoping no one would follow them.  
“I know it was stupid. But it was really fun. I love doing concerts.” Sam smiled.  
“Yeah, and that concert wasn’t the smartest thing. I told you not to do that. You don’t seem to get that it’ll be harder. You’re going to have to hide without anyone seeing any features of you at all. You still wore a hat today, so now everyone knows you’re going to walk around in a hat. You’ll have no privacy, Sam.” Castiel shook his head, “Why didn’t you just listen to me?”   
“I’m sorry. I’m drunk as hell, Cas. Just get me home. I need a smoke.” Sam sighed.  
“No, no you don’t.” Castiel tried to stay calm, “No smoking. That’s the last thing you need. You’re going to bed.” he got to the hotel, and let Sam go out. They both went into the room, and Castiel basically forced Sam to go to bed. The two were both pretty pissed at each other by now, and they both hoped it would get better tomorrow.


	18. Chapter 18

It didn’t get better the next day. It got worse. At least in the morning it did. Sam woke up at around 5 with a terrible headache. Castiel was hoping that Sam would be feeling a little better so that they could have a serious discussion about last night. He didn’t like dealing with a drunk Sam. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t allow it anymore, but not when he was so reckless at a party. Sam was in too much pain to even want to talk. Cas brought him medicine so he’d feel better. He was a little ticked that Sam kept asking for a cigarette. That was basically the last thing he needed right now. Castiel didn’t know a lot about hangovers, but he guessed that it wouldn’t even help him. They never exactly taught that in high school for him. He didn’t think he’d ever even have to deal with that information before.  
Castiel was about to call room service to get food, when he was texted to get his ass home. Apparently, his mother found out that he went to a party. She was not happy at all. Neither were his brothers. Gabriel told them about it. Castiel was going to have to yell at him for it once they got home. He and Gabriel always kept secrets between each other, and this was a huge one. Why would he do this to him now? Especially since he really needed to stay with Sam. He was going to worry his ass off about him. But he didn’t want to argue with his mom. Castiel was going to be in big shit once he got home. He started driving, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He hadn’t felt this nervous since...well, the party. However, that was a different kind of nervous. This was a scared for his dear life kind of nervous. The kind where you know that you’re mother is probably going to make you regret existing. At least, Castiel’s mother will.   
“Listen, Sam.” He said quietly, “I gotta go. I love you, and be safe. Text me when you feel better.” He knew that he couldn’t be loud, or Sam would flip out.  
Sam nodded, “Alright. That’s...sad. It’s so early though. It’s like...7.” He looked confused.  
“I know. But my mom is mad about me for something. I don’t want to make it worse for myself. You can handle it, right?” he asked. Sam nodded. Castiel leaned down and kissed Sam gently, before pulling away and walking outside. He got in his car and headed home.  
He pulled into the driveway and sat there for a couple minutes to think to himself. There were many ways he could get himself out of this, but he honestly couldn’t think of a good one. He was an adult, she couldn’t legally do anything to him. However, he was scared of her. So, he had to suck it up and just accept his punishment, whatever it was. He eventually got out. He trudged into the house and sat on the couch. “What is my punishment?” He asked his mother.   
She tilted her head a bit, “For what? Being home early?” She asked.   
“Wait...didn’t you send me a text to come home? You seemed pretty mad at me in it.” He crossed his arms.   
“No…” She shook her head, “Your sister was playing with my phone earlier. Go see if she sent you the text.”  
Castiel felt his heart jump at that. What if Gabriel told her everything and that’s why she wanted Castiel home so early? He nodded at his mother, quietly walking into his room and sitting on his bed. His brother looked at him, “What’s up with you? You look miserable.”   
“Where’s Rachel?” he asked softly.  
“In her room. Why?” He sat up, “Did you tell her about you know who?”   
Castiel shook his head, “No. I think Gabriel might have. I’m going to go talk to her. Pray for me.” He took a deep breath. He was probably going to murder Gabe if it’s true that Rachel knew. Gabriel knew damn well not to tell her anything.   
“Oh, believe me, I will.” Balthazar let out a huff, rolling his eyes.  
Castiel nodded. He took another deep breath and stood up. He walked into his sister’s room. “Rachel.” he knocked on the open door.   
She grinned at him, “Oh, hey Castiel. I’m so excited. Gabriel told me you went to a party. Was it the one downtown?” She asked excitedly, “That one where everyone was really drunk?”   
“Yeah. Why? Did you tell mom?” he asked nervously.  
“No no. Did you see him there? Sam? He was there. That means he’s in our town. Isn’t it exciting? I wanna go and see if I can find where he is. I don’t know why he’s here.” She started blabbering. This was even worse than her knowing that they were dating. People know where Sam is. If Rachel knew, then that mean millions of his fans now knew where he was. This was so terrifying. He wouldn’t be able to just go and see Sam anymore. He would have to wear a disguise just to go out in public. Castiel felt like he was going to be sick.   
“Anyway. Did you see him? I didn’t see too much in the videos, but I could have sworn he talked about someone he wrote the song for. I don’t want him to have a girlfriend.” She whined, “I don’t want competition.”  
Cas rolled his eyes, “You’re so creepy. Leave him alone. I swear, if you go looking for him, I’ll tell mom. You know how much she’s going to love that.”   
“Yeah, but then someone got a video of him hugging someone after! That means his girlfriend is in town too. I just want to know what it’s like to date him. And you know...maybe something more.” she smirked.  
“Rachel! That’s gross.” He shuttered.  
“Oh, come on. You’re gay. You must have some kind of kinky fantasy with him.” Rachel replied. Castiel loved how ironic this was, but he was also grossed out by his sister. It’s bad enough that she’s obsessing over him, but the fact that it’s his boyfriend is weird. This is the hardest thing about keeping it a secret from his sister. She was so annoying. He never noticed how bad she was until it mattered to him. She was just a kid. She shouldn’t be dreaming about fucking a 22 year old at her age. Maybe that’s just how they were. When Castiel was her age, he dreamed about books. He knew it was lame, but that’s how he lived. It’s basically how he still lived.  
“Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m going to dream about some guy like Sam. He probably does drugs all the time.” He rolled his eyes. Technically, it was true. Sam did smoke cigarettes.   
“Don’t even say things like that!” Rachel gasped.   
“It’s probably true. He just pretends to be some dumb good boy.” Castiel smiled. He loved teasing her about this though.   
“Stop stop. He is an activist against drugs. He did that commercial about saying no to drugs.” Rachel pointed out.   
“So? Doesn’t mean anything. I’m going to go find Gabe so I can yell at him for telling you that I went to that party. And another thing, just...leave Sam alone. He probably has enough shit to deal with. If you just so happen to pass by him in public, then you can say hi. Otherwise, don’t go looking for him. He might just get a restraining order from you. You wouldn’t want that, huh.” He crossed his arms over his chest.   
“No...but I...just go find Gabe.” She pouted. She seemed to be pretty upset, but Castiel didn’t want to have to deal with her now. He was a little too creeped out and disturbed to try and explain to her why it was weird to think that way. He tried so many times and she just never seemed to get it.   
He shook his head and left the room. He looked in Gabe’s room, which was empty. He looked around the house, but he was no where to be found. He found Gabriel outside, sitting down.   
“Hey, asshole.” Castiel hit his shoulder from behind.  
“‘Sup bro.” Gabriel grinned. Castiel could see that fucking smug look on his face. He honestly hated that look he had. Castiel furrowed his brows in unamusement.   
“Oh, come on. It’s not like she told anyone else.” Gabriel smiled.   
“Still. She knows Sam is in town now. That’s not your fault, but still. Of course I have to get shit because she knows I was there. Thanks a lot Gabriel. I really appreciate it.” Castiel sat next to him on the back porch steps. They used to sit here a lot as kids. They stopped, and Castiel honestly couldn’t remember why. It felt nice. The breeze was gentle. If only he could enjoy this with his boyfriend.   
“You’re so sarcastic. I love it.” He smiled, “It’s a nice day out. I would would say for you to invite your boyfriend over, but you know. Our sister would probably literally eat him alive while he’s in our house.” He laughed.  
“Probably. I don’t even wanna think about that.” He chuckled, “You should have heard her earlier. She got so weird and sexual about it. I just wanted to punch her. That’s my boyfriend for Pete’s sake. Whoever pete is.” he shuttered just thinking about it, “I’m not even kidding.”  
“Really? I can only imagine.” Gabriel shook his head, ‘What are you going to do about the whole town knowing Sammy’s here?” He asked.   
“I don’t know yet. I should probably text him and ask. I guess I can just try and go there without getting caught. It’s going to be really hard. It’ll be extremely bad for his reputation if he’s found with a guy.” Castiel sighed.   
“Whoa whoa. Why? How is him being gay so bad? You’re the actual gay one. You shouldn’t be so against people knowing about him. Shouldn’t you stand with him and make him proud of who he is? I’m not gay, so I guess I don’t know. I’m so confused.” Gabriel frowned.  
“You wouldn’t get it. So many girls would be angry about him being gay. And the other half would be attacking me and trying to find out about him. Not to mention that he’ll get so much hate mail from homophobic people. The news will call us a scandal. A lot of camera people and paparazzi will show up at my house. It won’t be glorious. Everyone will think that I’m just using him for his money. When in reality, I just love him. Our lives will be ruined because of love. I don’t even want to think about all this happen. Sam would get so worried about me. He doesn’t care about his reputation. He just cares about me. I think. I don’t want him to have to deal with it all. So, for now, I just need to be super fucking careful that no one catches us.” Castiel admitted. It was one of his biggest fears.   
Gabriel didn’t talk for a few seconds.“Oh. Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t see it that way. That’s scary.” Gabriel nodded. He looked genuinely saddened by what Castiel just said. Castiel hadn’t seen that kind of reaction from his brother in a while. The realization of how serious this problem was really starting to kick in to Castiel. He felt scared. He never actually feared this much about his future. It was probably stupid, just nothing. But what if it was? He just needed someone to hold him right now. He leaned against his brother, “I wonder how Sam is taking this. He has to have found out about how people know where he is. I’d be surprised if he didn’t. It’s probably even on the news.” As he said that, Castiel felt his phone vibrate.   
‘I just saw the videos from last night. Holy shit, did you see them?’ It was from Sam.  
‘Sadly, yes. I don’t know what we’re going to do. I’m talking to Gabriel about it.’ He sent back.   
“Oh oh! I almost forgot! Is that lover boy? Invite him over. I’m gonna take you two out. I have a fun idea.” Gabriel smiled, “I think you’ll like it a lot.”  
“Depends on what it is.” He said carefully.   
“It’ll be safe. I want you guys to go to my friend’s thing with me. The one who lives near our aunt. It’s like a play musical thing. I know this really random and sudden, but it’ll be really fun. I even have a wig for your boy toy to wear.” He smiled.  
“Where did you get a wig?” He asked. He shot Sam a text, asking him about the plans that Gabriel had. Sam would probably say yes. Seeing as it was about a half hour away instead of in this town, he wouldn’t be as nervous. Even though people might still recognize him, at least there wouldn’t be as much of an immediate threat.   
“None of your business.” he rolled his eyes again. Once Sam replied with a yes, Castiel told his brother. The two of them stayed and chatted for a few hours. At around 2, Castiel got up so he could shower and get ready for the night.


	19. Chapter 19

Castiel and Gabriel arrived at Sam’s place a little while later. He kissed Sam as a greeting and smiled, “So. You ready?” He asked Sam. He still didn’t really know why Gabriel was inviting him to this play. It wasn’t like it would be something spectacular. Castiel couldn’t really complain. It would be a night out with his boyfriend...and his brother. He knew that Gabriel would just tease them the entire time. Sam seemed to like him a lot so he wouldn’t be too annoyed by him.   
“I’m ready to go. What time is this play at?” Sam asked, stretching. Castiel couldn’t help but let his eyes linger as a little bit of Sam’s hips shown while he stretched.  
“It starts at 8. So we have like an hour until it starts. So we should just go. And put the wig on.” Gabriel smiled.  
“I’m really not a wig person. I’ll just wear my hat and no one will really know that it’s me. I’ve done it countless time and no one really notices. My hair is like my signature thing. If they can’t notice how my hair is, they won’t know it’s me. I never wear a hat to anything unless I’m trying to hide.” Sam noted. He put his hat on like he normally did and smiled.   
“You still look pretty hot anyway. You sure they’re not going to notice? Unless you completely hide your hair, they can tell. Trust me.” Gabriel noted.  
“They already know I’m here.” Sam said, “As long as Cas and I don’t show any obvious signs that we’re dating, they’ll just think that I’m your friends or something. They don’t seem to care if I had a few friends. They will if I’m with a boyfriend. So we just need to make sure to keep it safe.” He sighed.  
“I guess you’re right. I kind of wanted to hold hands and stuff. But I can sacrifice it. As long as you’ll make it up to me, I’ll be good.” Castiel smiled.  
“See? I guess everything is good then. It would be fun to be shown around a famous person. Only bad thing about that is the fact that Rachel would instantly know. She would literally murder us if she found out we’re friends with you.” Gabriel said, “And imagine her with Cas. If she finds out about that, you’ll regret even living.”   
Castiel laughed, “You’re right. I don’t think we’ll get caught anyway. Let’s just go, alright.” He smiled and the three of them quickly left and got into the car. Castiel sat in the backseat. He knew his brother would make him sit in the back. It was just like him to put himself first. He didn’t mind anyway. He would survive. He sat behind sam and would occasionally play with the back of his hair during the ride. He could hear Sam trying not to giggle as he tickled the back of his neck. He needed to let out all of his Sam touching now before they had to go.  
Sam looked behind him at Cas, “What are you even doing?”  
“Tickling you. I’m bored all alone back here. You should have sat with me.” Castiel frowned.   
“I see how it is. You want me to put on the music?” Gabriel asked the two of them.  
“Yeah. Put on the radio. Maybe we’ll hear one of my songs.” Sam smiled. He moved over and turned on Gabriel’s radio. He leaned back and closed his eyes, “I know this song.”   
“You probably know every song, along with whoever sings it.” Gabriel laughed, “You probably know everyone. Everyone sure knows you. Aliens probably know who you are.”   
“Probably. I wouldn’t be surprised.” Sam nodded. They arrived at the theater a few minutes later. Sam got out and stretched, “This place is really small.”  
“Guess you’re too used to your huge stages. You need to get out every now and then and see what real theater looks like. The best kind is the kind that’s local. It’s when you know them personally and can appreciate the smaller thing in life.” Gabriel smiled. Sam sighed at what Gabriel said.   
“Must be a starry night. That is literally the most profound thing I have ever heard you say.” Castiel rolled his eyes, “Let’s go in before anyone notices us outside."   
Gabriel handed the tickets to the person at the front desk. They quickly walked in and took their seats. Sam sat in between the two of them. It wasn’t until now that Castiel really realized that Gabriel and Sam were actually friends. He thought about the fact that maybe they talked more outside of Cas than he thought. They probably texted each other often. He didn’t know if it would be about Cas or not. He didn’t have a problem with it. He just didn’t feel too comfortable about it. He   
“Are you sure getting front row seats were the best?” Castiel asked, “They can tell who Sam is from the stage. What if they take pictures and tell everyone?”   
“You’re overreacting. Calm down a bit, buddy.” Gabriel smiled, “Plus they can’t even see what’s directly in front of them, right?”   
“Usually I can see the first few rows perfect. So uh..yeah.” Sam said slowly.   
“You’re not helping him calm down.” Gabriel whispered to Sam.  
“Oh.” Sam sighed.   
Castiel started to get a little irritated at the both of them. “The last time that I got worried at something like this, everyone found out where Sam was. He never listened to what I say and he was found out. What makes it different today? This way is even more dangerous because it’s obvious who we are.”   
“Shh. It’ll all be fine. I promise.” Sam said softly. He leaned over and gave Cas a reassuring kiss on the cheek. Castiel let out a sigh and calmed down a little bit for the play. Sam rubbed his leg a few times throughout the play to help him calm down if he got nervous. All in all, Castiel had a good time. He felt a little left out because Sam seemed to pay a lot of attention to Gabriel. As long as Castiel knew that Sam loved him, he’d be fine. Maybe he was just over reacting to this. He was always just nervous that Sam would find someone else.   
They dropped Sam off at 11 at his hotel room. The three of them hung out until 1. At least now he could relax with Sam without worry. The two of them cuddled while they watched a movie. He would occasionally start to kiss Sam’s neck, much to Gabriel’s dismay. He seemed grossed out whenever they were cute with each other. He couldn't’ blame him, but he was still really happy to be with his boyfriend.  
Castiel was too tired to sleep over with Sam, so he promised him another time. He promised that he would sleep over the next night when he had more time to hang out. Gabriel and Castiel stumbled inside the house. Castiel yawned. He saw that Rachel was still awake. He walked over to her, “Hey. Why are you still awake? It’s so late, and I know you hate to go to bed later than midnight.”  
“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask your boyfriend.” Rachel muttered and walked over to him with her arms crossed. Castiel felt his stomach drop.   
“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice getting a little shaky.  
Rachel got her phone out and showed him a picture. Someone who was behind them during the beginning of the show took a picture of when Sam kissed his cheek. “I’m not an idiot. You’re still wearing those clothes. I know what the back of your hair looks like. And don’t think for a second that I don’t know what Sam looks like from behind. I was so stupid. I should have known. I can see all the obvious clues now. You should have told me” She sounded...sad. Cas was really suspecting that she would be pissed off at him.  
“Should I apologize?” Castiel asked her, unsure.   
“No. I just wish you’d told me.” She yawned, “I feel like a complete asshole for saying all those terrible things about him. I mean, stating how much I love him and all that stuff. It must have made you uncomfortable. How long have you been dating?”   
“Basically since the concert.” Castiel admitted, “I thought you would hate me so I never told you. We always joked that you would basically murder me.”  
“You kidding me? I’m not a terrible person. I may be a little crazy, but I wouldn’t fucking hurt you for dating someone I like. I have to admit, I’m really surprised. I wouldn’t expect Sam to like guys. If anyone was to date Sam other than me, I would want it to be a family member. I would be able to see him all the time. That’s a hell of a lot better than admiring him from far. Though...I’m really sorry. When my friend first sent me the picture I was a little mad. I did something really bad.” She fiddled with her fingers, “I’m really sorry.”  
“What did you do? Did you tell mom? Please tell me you didn’t tell mom. She would literally go crazy at me.” Castiel panicked a bit.  
“I did something worse.” She wouldn’t look at him, “I posted the picture on twitter.”   
“You did what?” He frowned, “Aren’t you like, really popular on twitter?”   
“Yeah. Well, not really. I have ten thousand. Compared to a lot of people, that isn’t much. I kind of run a Sam news twitter.”   
“Oh fuck. Rachel, why the hell would you do this? This is fucking important. If this gets on the news and shit, my life is probably ruined.” Cas started pacing around the room.  
“It’s not that bad.” Rachel sighed, “So people know Sam’s gay. So what?”   
“So what?!” he tried not to raise his voice, “I’m not a mastermind at this stuff, but people are going to watch every move Sam makes. They’re eventually going to find out who I am. They’ll find out where I live. People don’t just let stuff like this go. Everyone is going to go crazy. I can’t believe this.”  
“Chances are that no one will really pay attention to it on twitter anyway. Don’t get too worked up.” Rachel said softly. She really just didn’t seem to understand how terrible the situation would be. She was just way too calm about this.   
Cas shook his head, “I’m going to bed. I’ll have to tell Sam tomorrow about this. I know you didn’t mean to make it hurt, but I honestly don’t think it’ll go too well after this. I just...goodnight.” He walked into his room without letting her say anything. He laid down on his bed, with his face on his pillow. He let out a deep breath. He couldn’t even sleep. He didn’t want to turn on his phone because he felt like he would get texts about the picture. He didn’t want to get the internet up because he knew it would be on the news. It was late, so they probably wouldn’t even know about it yet. Castiel just didn’t want to risk seeing it. He eventually fell asleep after it got light outside.   
He woke up to his phone ringing. It was Sam’s ringtone, but he was too afraid to pick it up. He groaned into his pillow and ignored it. He didn’t want to exist right now.


	20. Chapter 20

Sam could not believe that this was actually happening. Out of all the things he was afraid of, this would be on the top ten. He was getting a lot of calls from his manager. He didn't answer a single one, because he knew they would all basically be the same fucking thing. Whenever someone wanted to get Sam for an interview, they needed to call his manager. Then, his manager would call him. Sam didn't leave any of the shades in his hotel room open. He wouldn't open the door for anyone. Despite the fact he had been trying to quit for months, he had smiled at least three cigarettes in the past two hours. He didn't care that he was trying to quit.   
To make things worse, Castiel wasn't even answering his phone. Sam called constantly. He needed some kind of comfort, but all he got was his cigarettes. He had to drink a shit ton of coffee cause he didn't get any sleep that night. He was too busy worrying about how to keep going. He originally heard about the situation when he saw it on the news. The picture was posted all over the internet. There were posts stating that it was all a scam. Others were cheering at how brave Sam was. It was so gross. People cared too much about his personal life. Why couldn't people just accept that someone was gay? It wasn't like he was any fucking different than he was when he was apparently straight.   
Sam also got calls from his brother. He knew Dean was worried, but he was too afraid to answer his calls. He did want to talk to Dean, but at the same time, he didn't want to. He knew Dean would get pissed at him for being so careless. The only person Sam wanted to talk to was Cas. They could get through this together. Sam wasn't mad at him at all. Hell, Sam was extremely worried for Cas. Sam was used to all the fame, but Cas wasn't. Sam wanted to take everything slowly to the public. But of course, it all had to go too fast now.   
After trying about two more times, Castiel finally picked up the phone. "Hey Sam." He said quietly.   
"Hey. Why haven't you been picking up?" He asked. "I've been worried sick for you. How have you been holding up? You know what happened right?"  
"Yeah. Yeah." Castiel sighed, "My sister was the first to tell me. She was the one who posted the picture."  
"I'm not surprised. She really ruined our lives just because she was mad that we're dating?" Sam groaned, "She's fucking unbelievable."   
"It's not really like that. Believe me. She's really sorry for it. She spent like twenty minutes apologizing to me for it. She was mad at first but then she just kinda forgave me for it." Castiel replied, "Though that doesn't justify her actions. It was still a really shitty thing for her to do. She claims she didnt know that it would end up hurting us. I guess I believe her. You're not mad at me, right?" He asked softly.   
"No no. God no. I'm not mad at you just everyone else. I'm mad at your sister. I'm mad at the media for making such a fucking big deal about this. I'm also mad at my dumb manager for continuously calling me. If I don't answer it should fucking mean that I don't want to talk." He lit another cigarette. 

Castiel paused for a few minutes. "Did I hear your lighter? Sam...please tell me that you’re not smoking. I thought that we agreed that you would try to stop." He had one of those really disappointed tones.   
Sam bit his lip and then spoke, “Yeah. I’m stressed and you’re not here to comfort me. So I had to go to my second option. I’m sorry Cas.” Sam said softly and put the cigarette in his mouth.  
“I would come over there, but I can’t leave my house. There’s people outside. They all got here over night. I have local news people all over my house. My mom is so pissed at me that I’m too afraid to leave my room.” Castiel sighed, “Just don’t smoke more than one. It’s just really really bad for you.” Castiel really seemed worried about his health.   
“I know. This isn’t my first. But I appreciate you being worried for me.” Sam replied. He leaned against the couch, “I guess if they found out about my smoking I’ll be overly fucked. I better just say goodbye to my career.”   
“Don’t be like that. Just...if you’re going to leave, take a shower and change your clothes so you won’t smell like smoke. Just try really hard to not let anyone know. We weren’t careful enough for this one. You’re going to get a lot of homophobic moms telling you that you’re going to ruin their kids. You’ll get the Westboro Baptist Church making fun of your songs. It’s a life we’re both going to have to get used to.” Castiel said.   
“I know I know. I have to leave at some point. I was dumb and didn’t store much food for myself. I only got room service. So, soon enough I’ll need to get out of my room. I’m just a little nervous.” He breathed. “Should I just go out now?” He took another drag.   
“Go when you’re ready. Please don’t force anything. I’ll see you as soon as I can, Sam. Be safe.” Sam felt worse for Castiel than he did for himself. Cas couldn’t leave his house, neither could any of his family.   
“Alright, Cas. I’ll call you in a bit. See ya.” Sam laid down.  
“Bye.” Castiel hung up. Sam sighed softly. He decided to just fuck it and stood up. He finished off his cigarette, and did everything Cas said he should do. He stepped out. Instead of seeing a bunch of people outside of his door, it was only his bodyguard. “Oh.” He said softly.  
“It’s about time you got out.” She said, “Jesus, Sam. At least no one thinks we’re dating anymore. No one understands what lesbian means anymore. But, I’m glad you finally came out. I knew about your relationship back when your manager found out about it.”  
“Really? I guess more people know about it before now than I thought.” Sam sighed, “I’m guessing you got everyone away?”   
“Yup.” She nodded, “Everyone doesn’t think I can protect you well enough cause I’m a skinny girl. Boy were some of those girls wrong.”  
“Charlie...don’t tell me you hit anyone.” Sam frowned.   
“Nah. I just pushed them away. Plus, they think you’re in a different room anyway. I’ll help you leave so you can go wherever you want.” Charlie smiled, “I managed to keep the news away from you. I told each that you were at a different place. I’m good like that.” Charlie smirked.   
“Good. Can I go see Cas? I can tell you where he lives. You can help me get past all the people there right?” he asked.   
“Of course I can.” She grinned at him, “Don’t doubt me. I’ll even drive you. C’mon.” Sam smiled and they quickly headed to the car without being spotted by too many people. Charlie quickly started driving towards Castiel’s house. People recognized the car as soon as it pulled up. They had news reporters running up to the car. Charlie got out.   
“Alright people. Get out of the way. Sam isn’t going to be talking to any of you.” She sighed. Sam walked out and followed her to the door. The crowd of reporters followed behind them. A few even tried to push against Sam, but he pushed them back.   
Charlie knocked hard on the front door, “Open the door, Novak.” She said sternly. That was probably the meanest that he’s ever heard Charlie be. She was more of a teasing kind of bodyguard. Someone slowly opened the door. Sam guessed it was one of the brothers. Judging by how he looked, he seemed like one of the older ones. Probably one of the twins. He frowned and let Sam and Charlie in.   
“He’s in his room.” he shook his head, “I can’t believe you have the nerve to come in here when you did this to our family. None of us asked for this. I can’t even leave the fucking house.”   
Sam ignored him and then walked in to Cas’s room. Once Sam walked in, Cas took a breath of relief and kissed him. Castiel wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck and sighed as he kissed him. He pulled back after a moment. He paused when he saw Charlie. “Who’s this?” he asked.  
“She’s my bodyguard. I kind of need to have her around at all times now.” Sam sighed and held his hand.   
“Hi.” Charlie smiled, “It’s great to finally meet you.”   
“You...don’t look like a bodyguard.” Castiel noted, “Usually they’re huge hefty big guys.”   
“I get that a lot.” Charlie shrugged, “But I’m the best for the job. Sam is a big guy. I mainly just get people away from him. I’m not the strongest, but I’m a black belt so at least I’m strong enough. Plus, being a girl, everyone thinks that I’m not capable.”   
“She’s the best one I’ve had.” Sam smiled, “She did get me here after all, without many people harassing me.”  
Castiel nodded, “That’s good. I didn’t mean to sound offensive. I bet you’re a great bodyguard. Though, honestly I don’t see you around much. You aren’t in many pictures, so I mean...” he fiddled with his fingers.   
“Nah, it’s fine. I’m used to it.” Charlie sighed.   
“But seriously, she sure knows how to prove everyone wrong.” Sam grinned.  
“Hell yeah. Girls can be just as great as guys when it comes to beating people up.” She chuckled. “I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll talk to your family, Castiel, and explain to them what needs to be done from now on. Your life has just got a hell of a lot more interesting.” She left the room. Almost as soon as she left, Rachel came running in.   
“Hi Sam.” She smiled brightly, “Oh my god, it’s really you. I’ve been waiting a long time to actually be able to talk to you and stuff. Oh my god...this is just…” She paused, “I’m sorry for all this. I mean it.”   
“I don’t want to talk to you at all, Rachel.” Sam frowned.   
“I said I’m sorry.” She whined, “Sorry sorry. I have to try to be mature about this.” She took a deep breath. “I really feel bad for ruining your life. I didn’t mean to.”   
Sam darted his eyes at Cas, who just nodded, “I know you’re sorry Rachel. I know it’s all overwhelming to you. Especially since I’m dating the person that you’ve been in love with like your whole life. But, you’re just going to have to get used to it. I love you and all Rachel, but please. We can talk about this later. I just want to be alone with Sam right now.” Castiel said to her. Sam wondered how Castiel could be so calm with her. If it was Sam, he would get a lot more upset with her. Maybe Castiel was just so used to her that he could be so calm and collective with her. She groaned and then left.   
“My mom told her last night that if she was rude to you or me that she’d get grounded. So, she’s trying to be calm around us. She already grounded me for dating someone and not telling her. I can’t leave the house except for work. I won’t be ungrounded for at least another two weeks. Man, she flipped shit at me.” Castiel nodded, “But about Rachel. I can tell she feels like shit about all this, so I’m not going to be super harsh to her. Ugh, this is going to be so hard.”  
Sam looked at Cas and kissed him a couple more times, “On the bright side, we don’t have to hide it anymore. We don’t have to worry about your family seeing. I mean, we still need to be careful in public...but...ah, I don’t know where I’m going with this.” He chuckled  
“I get what you mean.” Castiel nodded, “Can we just lay down and forget this for a while? I like it when you hold me.”   
Sam nodded, “Of course.” he moved on to Cas’s bed, and waited for Cas to come. Once Cas laid on the bed, he wrapped his arms around him.   
“Sing to me.” Castiel closed his eyes, “It calms me down.”  
Sam smiled and started softly singing one of the songs he wrote for Cas. It helped Sam calm down too, weirdly enough. Castiel seemed to fall asleep in his arms a few minutes later. Sam guessed that Cas didn’t get much sleep either. Sam stopped singing and drifted off into a much needed sleep as well. At least they didn’t need to worry about this as they slept.


	21. Chapter 21

Ever since Sam left, Dean felt empty. He basically hated himself because he felt like it was his fault. When he found out what had actually happened to his brother, he was surprised. He wouldn't say he was super glad that his baby brother was some pop icon. At least it was better than being homeless or dead. That's what their dad thought would happen. At least he didn't end up like Dean. He had to live with his dad in order to support his kid. It was a little pathetic, in Deans personal opinion. He loved his kid though and wouldn’t want it any other way. He would definitely prefer to be a dad than a pop star. He just wished that he didn’t have to live with his dad anymore. John was just too demanding of him and often took care of the baby more than Dean did.

Dean had a weird time while Sam was famous. It was like it took over his life, even though he hadn’t seen Sam in so long. No one ever left him alone about it. He was pretty sure Lucas's mom only slept with him so that she could be able to talk to Sam. No one seemed to understand the fact that Dean didn't even talk to him anymore. He only made as many friends that had because of Sam. Half of them had girlfriends who wanted to meet Sam. Others thought that Dean was rich because his brother was famous. Dean eventually stopped talking to most of them all together. He was so fucking sick of being seen as just some object for them to use. The only one he was still friends with was Benny.

Benny wasn't exactly his friend though. Benny was more than just a friend. They met in some dumb group that Dean joined full of single parents. He only joined to see if he could date any hot women in there. However, Benny sparked his interest. He was the only other dude in the group. He had a 6 year old daughter. Who, of course, was obsessed with Sam. Benny ended up talking to Dean about his daughter's obsession. One thing lead to another, and Benny started taking Dean out on dates. Then before Dean knew it, he was having sex the guy at least once a week. They weren't exactly dating, but it was the closest they could get without it being official. They still slept around with other people, so it wasn't like they had the trust an actual couple would. It was all new to Dean though, since it was basically the first time Dean had gotten close like this to another guy. Sure, he had sex with other guys, but it was always just a one time thing. He never had a guy spend time with his kid before Benny. It was always just sex, and that was it. 

Dean was very tempted to see if he could move in with Benny. It was a hell of a lot better than staying with his dad. He really wanted to start an actual relationship with his best friend as well, but he was too afraid too. Benny always talked about how he really hated commitment, so Dean never brought it up. Dean wasn’t the best at relationships, but if he really liked Benny, he could make it work. He never admitted any kind of true feelings to Benny. Hell, they had never even slept over at each other’s houses before. It was always sex or just hanging out for the day. Dean loved it being like that at first, but after a while it grew old. There wasn’t as much adventure as Dean thought there was. 

He didn’t even have any friends or anyone who knew about their ‘relationship’. He mainly only talked about it to his kid. He didn’t really understand any of it anyway since he was so young. He blabbered about Benny to Lucas all the time. The baby would gaze at him with confusion, but was slightly entertained by his dad talking to him. Sometimes he would give him a smile and laugh at him. He knew that Luke could understand some English. He couldn’t exactly speak it, but he could understand a few words here and there. So he obviously knew who Benny was, and recognized his name. He loved Benny. Every time Benny was over, Lucas would be happier than ever. It was like he considered him a parent. Dean wouldn’t be surprised if Luke accidentally calls Benny his dad by accident. Dean would probably find that completely adorable. 

The thing about being with Benny, was that Dean wasn't openly bisexual yet. He never told anyone he actually knew, because he was afraid of how they would react. Imagine how his father would react. His semi-homophobic dad had two queer kids. He already felt freaked out about the thought that Sam liked a few dudes here and there. Dean didn't want to imagine what it would be like if John found out about him. He would probably try to keep Lucas and make Dean move out. He didn't to risk testing it out.

Dean had gotten used to living without Sam. Out of the blue one day, he just decided to contact his brother. He finally grew the balls to talk to him. It took him a while to actually convince his manager to give him his number. He literally had to prove that he was actually Sam's brother. Once he got the number, he kept calling. Only after he left that message, did Sam answer. It was the scariest thing to do. Hearing his brother's voice for real was thrilling. The fact Sam actually wanted to see him was even better. He almost instantly packed his things after their conversation. Even if his stuff would be laying there for a few weeks, he didn’t care. He was so excited that nothing else really mattered. 

"You seein' something special?" Benny asked him a few weeks later when he saw his packed things. They usually went to Benny’s house, so Benny wasn’t in his room often. Benny was sitting up on his bed with his arms crossed, looking a bit confused. 

"Yeah. I'm going to see my brother. I told you this the other day." Dean got out of bed and pulled his pants up. He licked his lips, "It won't be too long before I go." 

"That's nice. Any room for two more to go?" Benny asked. Benny knew that Dean would say no. Dean guessed that Benny just wanted to give it a shot. 

Dean smiled but shook his head, "Maybe next time. It'll be the first time seeing him in a really long time. It’s just... I just want to spend time with him by myself. Well I mean the baby is coming too. Speaking of the baby, I hope Dad fed him today. He actually forgets to do that sometimes." He laid back in bed and rested his head against Benny's chest. "I hope Sam hasn't changed. Like, I hope he hasn't become a douche."

"Who knows, Dean. Fame can do anything to anyone." Benny smiled lightly, "But that's just my opinion." 

"I hope Sam likes my kid. He never liked kids when we were younger." Dean sighed. He was getting anxious over something that he really shouldn’t have gotten anxious over.   
"Stop worryin'." Benny shook his head.   
Dean had gotten a call a couple moments later. It was one of his friends that always gave him the news about Sam. She told him that Sam had just been caught with another guy. Dean sighed as he hung up. "Someone caught Sam with his boyfriend. I guess that means that dad knows too. Oh god." Dean told Benny. He sat up and wiped his forehead. He suddenly started to feel a little bit light headed. He took a few deep breaths. His father was going to have a fucking fit. He could just hear it now. His imaginations of his father's reaction was almost stained in his head. It was something he didn’t want to deal with hearing. Now, it was inevitable. He cursed again.   
"Sam is a boy boy. He'll be able to manage it." He nodded. Benny seemed to kid around like he actually knew Sam or something. He knew basically all of the things that Dean told him about Sam, but never actually met him. Dean found it funny whenever Benny said dumb things like this. No one knew Sam as much as Dean did, yet everyone acted as though they did.   
Dean laughed softly, “Oh shut up.” he shook his head at Benny, “But you’re right. He’s probably just feeling stressed. I’ll call him to see how he’s doing and stuff.” he nodded and took out his phone to call Sam. There was no answer. Dean wasn’t surprised. He probably got a shit ton of calls already anyway. He would just have to call a little bit later. In the meantime, Dean laid back down on Benny. He ran his fingers across his chest and let out a deep sigh.   
“So what do you want to do now? I’m guessing that Sam isn’t answering your calls.” Benny guessed.   
“Sex…” Dean said slowly, “Lots of it. Kinda just wanna relieve a lot of stress.” 

 

A few hours later, it was time for Benny to go home. He got off of Dean and put his clothes on.   
“Don’t leave.” Dean said to him, "Stay for once."  
“Really? You’re the one who made up the no sleep overs rule, and now you want me to stay?” Benny laughed, “I have a kid to take care of.”  
“She’s at her mom’s right? Luke is out with my dad until tomorrow. Have her sleep over at her mom’s. We never spend the night with each other. Just this once?” Dean asked.   
Benny sighed, and eventually shook his head, “Sounds like you’re getting attached Dean. This is the second time this week you wanted to have us actually spend a night with each other. You know that’s one of our rules, remember? The one I just fucking mentioned.”  
“So what? Maybe I’m sick of being in between with you.” Dean sat up and crossed his arms.   
“What does that mean?” Benny crossed his arms as well.   
“It’s either we stop having sex, or we go all out in this. Damn it, I don’t like having this conversation.” Dean cursed, “I hate dealing with feelings or stuff like that. It's just not my thing. But I also hate being inbetween something and not knowing where it's going."   
“Alright. Let’s do it. Let's actually date. Be boyfriends.” Benny nodded.  
“Are you serious?” He asked.  
“Of course Dean. You know how I feel for this kind of stuff, but you’re different. I was waiting for you to get the balls to ask me.” Benny smiled.  
“You’re too funny. So you’ll stay the night?” He asked.  
“Of course, Dean.” Benny got back in bed, “But you’re going to have to cuddle. You sure you’re ready for that commitment? It might be a little overwhelming for you.”   
“You’re an asshole.” Dean rolled his eyes, “There’s a marathon of movies going on. Whoever falls asleep first is the loser.”  
“You’re on.” Benny turned the TV on. Both of them fell asleep before they could really figure out who was asleep first anyway. A few weeks later, Dean had to head to visit his brother. There was a lot on the news about Sam, and Dean didn’t even want to listen to them. The most that he knew so far was that Sam was constantly getting interviews. Dean felt really bad for his brother, who had enough shit handed to him in the first place. He boarded the plane with Lucas in his hands. He was especially nervous to take his baby with him. What if someone wanted to run up to Dean and scare the baby? He had a bunch of dumb fears about traveling to see Sam with him. But it would be worth it to finally see him face to face.  
He sure did miss Sam.


End file.
